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Introspective Fractals
H.B. Woodrose
by Terminally Chill
Citation:   Terminally Chill. "Introspective Fractals: An Experience with H.B. Woodrose (exp115125)". Erowid.org. Feb 12, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115125

 
DOSE:
15 seeds oral H.B. Woodrose

BODY WEIGHT: 240 lb


I'm 18, ~240lbs and I haven't tripped in a while so I ordered some Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds really not expecting much. I read articles of people just being dissapointed after taking 3 or 5 seeds. They came in the mail and there were 37 seeds total of which I ate 15. I am very experienced with LSD and MDMA just as a side note.

I did not prepare them in any way I just put 15 seeds in my mouth chewed until they were pulp, held in my mouth for 5 minutes and swallowed. The following happened. (I fasted about 18 hours before dosing)

8:17pm: I swallow the seeds, they taste like sunflower seeds and leave a very slight bitter taste in my mouth. No immediate effects.

9:28: I feel giddy, like a little kid. No visual effects but I feel buzzed and excited. I played video games and talked with people from my old high school and had some laughs. I decided to make a sandwich and eat it. Which was a BAD idea.

10:30pm: I join a voice chat with very good friends of mine. The visuals begin. I look at my wall and the streaks of paint are vibrating and multiplying. I look at my bed sheets and they look like the mandelbrot set and it blows my mind. My fuzzy blanket looks like it's covered in eyes of all different sizes. This goes on for several hours and I just roll around on my bed. My finger tips feel like they are covered in slime.

1:00am: I decide to raise my arm in the air and I drop it on my face. I broke my glasses. This is the point where things seemed like they started going downhill. The visuals and colors are INTENSE and I start crying thinking how much of a piece of shit I am. I ask one of my good friends to stay talking to me and he does.

I had not cried in so long, I just felt numb to emotions and I didn't even realize it. My room was messy and had been messy for a while. I just thought about why the fuck is it so hard for me to get motivated to do anything. I began thinking of my past and struggle of sleeping in parks and Laundromats and almost freezing to death in the winter. I began to feel like the struggle of my life had been wasted on somebody that would learn nothing from it. I begin to think about money and why having it is so godamn important in this world. I cry a lot.

2:19am: I throw up. There are no seeds in the vomit just the sandwich from earlier. I begin to regret eating the seeds. And then I look up at the mosaic on my bathroom wall and it was flowing like water. The plain white wall above it is exploding with color and it's covered in diamond shaped fractals. I drag my hand across the wall and it leaves a wake like a boat cutting through water. All the times I had done LSD I could never manipulate visual distortions like this before. It distracts me from my own mind for a good bit.

2:30am: I go back and forth from the restroom because I would leave and feel like throwing up again. I eventually make it back to my room and cry some more.

At the time it felt like a bad thing but it was so healing to cry after not expressing emotions for almost a year. I remember that my mother texted my saying she got a job at a heart surgery place as a receptionist and that her old boss split from the company and wants to partner with her. This just turns the trip around. I start to feel like God has our back. I just feel embraced with good. Things are going to change and I will change for the better.

I prick my finger by accident with a guitar string and there's blood, I just stare at it and it got bigger and bigger until it looked like a grid-covered cone enveloping my face. It was small so there was no danger.

3:00am-6:00am: I talk to my friend about all the crazy shit I did in high school. I am just dumbfounded on what the fuck I was thinking when I did the stupid shit I did.

My friend tells me something that made me feel really good. He told me that before he knew me, whoever he talked to in high school knew me in some way and that everybody loved me. This took me by surprise because I only had two real friends in high school and 2,000 kids attended my school. He said that people were just drawn to me. Which explains why I have had so many interesting conversations and adventures with strangers that would just walk up to me. This feeds my ego and I realize it, but I think "what am I without my ego. Just an empty shell." I had not felt good about myself in a very long time.

My friend says he can't stay up any more and leaves, I understood of course and I was very grateful that he stayed at all. The effects are wearing off after all.

I go to sleep with a big smile on my face.

INTROSPECTIVE PART: These seeds reminded me that I am so lucky to have had a rough life. They healed me through tears and made me realize that certain things are in my control and certain things aren't. And if I ever worry about something that I should ask myself if I as an individual can change it, and if I can't, then I stop worrying.

The next day I cleaned and mopped my entire house just thinking of the look on my mom's face when she comes home. I had never been so motivated to do that.

NEXT DAY AFTER GLOW: When I type on my phone or read subtitles they warp around a lot. They look like a red and white 3D effect without the 3D glasses. I am writing this exactly 24 hours after I fell asleep. And the letters are moving a small bit.

Closing Thoughts: I am very happy with this experience. The visuals were incredibly intense and I felt like Mother Nature herself was hugging me and saying everything was going to be ok and giving me advice. As if she guided me to take these seeds after I had shut out the spiritual world for so long. I feel reunited.

However I didn't feel stupid and helpless like I do with LSD. I felt I could think pretty clear and speak clearly. No thought loops or anything of the sort. I felt no nausea or headaches I just threw up that's all.

Overall good experience and I would definitely do it again. BE SAFE out there guys. Much love.

Exp Year: 2021ExpID: 115125
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: Feb 12, 2021Views: 383
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H.B. Woodrose (26) : Glowing Experiences (4), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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