DOSE:

1 g

oral

Benzydamine

(liquid)

Benzydamine, cute little chemical with a very short history and basically widely unknown, mostly because it still hasn't gathered enough data since its registration as OTC anti-inflammatory and pain reducing drug. It's known here as Tantum Verde and has some potential benefits over other NSAID preparations, like supposed local anaesthethic effect for throat inflammations and protection of gastric mucosa due to its mechanism of action not involving cyclooxigenase inhibition. It is still limited in every drug form to be merely locally active, nothing notable gets to your system this way. Even if it did, concentrations are still very low (+-3 mg in pastilles here), and on top of that, it's supposedly a bad molecule for absorption from the gut. However, one specific drug form has a whopping 500mg of it. Yeah, you've guessed it, it's vaginal cleaning antiseptic preparation. Still only locally active - it's negligibly absorbed in there, if at all.

Let's get juicier. What happens when we ingest more of it? Like, for example, 1 gram? You trip. You trip so fucking hard. And why is that? Nobody knows. We don't know its effective concentration for tripping, we don't know which receptors it binds to, we don't even know how it works in all those OTC products. It may seem atypical to have a drug in drugstores we don't really know jackshit about, but to be fair, we are still unsure how the most commonly sold medication (paracetamol) actually works in our bodies. Junkies speculate benzydamine is an anticholinergic due to similar tertiary amine binding with short carbon chain and eventually oxygen, but I beg to differ. There is one more carbon in its chain compared to anticholinergics, which is more than enough for drastic changes in its pharmacology. Sure, it may certainly antagonize choline receptors to some extent, but I doubt it's their only notable receptor affinity explaining all of the effects. Anticholinergic highs like diphenhydramine (Benadryl) are classified as deliriants in overdoses and trips are usually raw and blunt. Nonetheless, today benzydamine is recognized as both deliriant and psychostimulant in "high" dose, but based only on subjective experiences rather than experimental publications, but that's for obvious reason - the lack of experimental publications.

So how do we reach the fabled high? Naturally, we drink some pussy juice. The content of one package may be 500mg of the active substance in granulate form, but it doesn't end there. A single package of granulates weighs whopping 10 grams. Looking at inactive substances, there is also natrii chloridum and hexadecyltrimethylammonium tosilas included in each package. The maximum concentration of hexadecyltrimethylammonium is low, because it's a powerful antiseptic so weight of it is negligible. We're left with natrii chloridum, aka kitchen salt. There's over 9 grams of it in each package... It needs to go. The primary solvent for the whole package is water, so let's change that. Figuring out solubilities turned out to be fruitful, as kitchen salt doesn't dissolve in non-polar solvents, yet benzydamine does. I picked 85% ethanol as the first one to try out. I tested out solubility of pure kitchen salt (1g) at first. White trail of unsolubilised salt crystals at the bottom of ethanole-filled cup was a sign of success, barely any of salt poofed into the solution. So let's do it for real now. Content of 2 packages should be more than enough. I poured it into a glass cup and added plenty ethanole, stirred the hell out of it and then filtrated it through a strainer. A tremendous mountain of salt got caught over the net, so much that I got a little worried if it actually worked on benzydamine as it should have. The filtrated ethanole solution was crystal clear white liquid, but it's still highly concentrated ethanole, I'm not drinking it. Not after my experience with a sip of 96% one that fried my taste buds for over 3 days. Fortunately, it evaporates quickly even in room temperature, because it doesn't have strong H-bonds like water. After complete evaporation I found some salt crystals residue at the sides of a cup and weirdly interconnected white cracked stuff at the bottom of the cup. So, it should be soluble in water. Too bad it's glued to the bottom of the cup and ignores even its favorable solubilisator. I helped it by prying it out with a knife. Eventually water turned white and nothing was left scuba diving at the bottom. The color was strangely reminescent of actual pussy juice, that's quite a definite last drive for your taste buds. There's only one thing left to do - time for a sip!

Now before we get onwards, I should note it's not the first time this molecule transcended into my bloodstream. Always try the molecule before squeezing a load of anything new into yourself. Allergy, hypersensitivity, metabolising enzyme deficiencies, all of that will manifest itself even at much lower doses than the "high" one and all of them are exponentially worse long-term (cuz you die). The first time I just poured granulate into water so I obviously tasted the saltiness. It was undrinkably disgusting, cough syrup is a paradise in comparison. I endured just few sips and then got rid of it in a sink. I got no allergies from it, but neither anything else.

Well, without any salt in the concoction, it should taste better, right? It doesn't. It's still disgusting. On the scale of disgust ranked from one to ten it got better by exactly zero point one. If I were a virgin before downing this cunty cocktail, I would no longer be one anymore. I kept adding water to dilute it to more drinkable levels until it got bearable. The cunty taste remained for hours and I probably caused mild chemical burn on the upper part of my esophagus - most likely from the insufficiently diluted strong antiseptic that was still present after salt filtration. It's supposed to take around 30 minutes until it gets absorbed, so I decided to use up that time. I was hungry and wasted all the bottled water I've had for diluting. Up to this point I hadn't eaten anything to maximize benzydamine absorption, but I just had to do something stupid, like inserting some junk food from a nearby cantina into me because of the aftertaste. Getting there was uneventful, but upon leaving there were first signs. I got very mildly light headed and felt everything getting tiny little bit brighter, especially white colors. I'm definitely intoxicated. I still had to buy water from nearby supermarket, so I kept going on while concentrating on every change in perception. Walking over there felt different than coming over to cantina. At this point it was comparable to mild alcohol buzz without balancing problems. I felt lighter, like walking around with naked feet. Lightheadedness kept on steadily progressing while waiting in the line for about 10 minutes. Moving around outside was starting to get difficult. My muscles felt incredibly light. Each step was like a tiny plane taking off. Walking was still possible to keep in control and look unsuspicious, unlike with heavy alcohol intoxications. However, I noticed my distance perception was altered while trying to get to the other side of the road. There was a truck slowly backing up which I had to bypass to get on the sidewalk, when I noticed I couldn't tell how far away it is from me exactly, something I haven't noticed even with heavy alcohol consumptions. For a second I found myself thinking whether I'm about to become a roadkill, getting ran over by a hightailing (+-5 kmph) truck. Eye contacts with bypassers were strange, strangely thought provoking. I doubt anyone had a clue I'm smoked, but it got to the point I no longer wanted to be in public. Before the entrance to my apartment I noticed I'm barely feeling cold temperature of chilly winter gust outside, it got me really intrigued so I pried out a few arm hair. I couldn't feel a thing. I mean, I could point to where my hair was pulled out even blindfolded, but minus the pain. I went further, tried touching various points of my skin, when suddenly an itch kicked in on my hand. Scratching it did nothing, my skin just didn't register a damn, so it kept on itching. Fortunately, it most likely wasn't histamine related itching (urticaria). Touching my skin anywhere felt unpleasant and was making me feel strangely uncomfortable. The last obstacles in my way are bunch of stairs. Not paying much attention to them, I kept going my normal speed on the way up, but after around 3-4 steps I realized I'm getting rapidly nauseated with each step upwards. It was almost like a diving sickness, except in the air. Vestibulary apparatus probably wasn't in perfect condition either. The only good that came out of it - I've decided to go up to my room by an elevator.

Waiting for it to come down, I focused on my sight. The brightness still seemed to increase. All 4 corners of my vision now had a notable white shade wherever I looked even in sunlight-illuminated rooms. The view itself had a new layer with huge horizontal black and white lines slowly going upwards, but they were faint, barely noticeable without fully focusing on them. Sometimes my view randomly switched to double vision, but in about a second it was back to "normal". Closing my eyes revealed a mixture of fading white in my whole view along with a usual shade of black. Fortunately the effect of elevator on me was much less nauseating than stairs, it was a strangely pleasurable ride with the increasing muscle fatigue, but not to the point of wanting to ride it up and down constantly. Walking out of it and over an empty hall to my apartment, my increasing body weight and muscle fatigue heavily kicked in so I was glad I'm finally in front of my apartment. Unlocking was quite a sight to behold. My distance perception is gone at this point and I'm lightheaded to the point of instantly falling over after leaning just a little off my gravitational center. After 2 minutes of just stabbing random spots on my door with keys, I hit the jackpot.

I sat on a chair and just stared blankly, unaware of possible upcoming surprises. I stared around my room. The first thing I've noticed was an awkward orange shape of light from afternoon sun propagated on the floor through window. The color of it was definitely off, almost like bright carrot-orange, not a sun color whatsoever. All shadows were blurry at their edges and seemed to pulsate in brightness once they weren't in the center of my view. Tilting my head around fast was difficult and felt heavy, but I noticed something strange. If you spin your head fast enough from point A to point B, your memory will contain only the last look at point A before rotating and point B after rotating, but you can't percept the blur while rotating. Well, at least not under normal circumstances, because I was able to notice a grey mush covering few bits and pieces, lines and shapes when rotating fast enough. I powered on my laptop to add a bit of light to my slowly darkening room. Reading a wall-text article was impossible, my short term memory has abandoned me for now. I'd forgotten what a beginning of sentence was about before I've read it entirely. The black color of those words on white background was far more entertaining, because it seemed there are 2 shades of black (one brighter black and one darker black) and they were attributed to words completely randomly and redistributed differently after looking away from the screen of laptop and back. Looking away from the screen revealed another oddity - my light accommodation had a delay. It was an Internet Explorer kind of delay, every 1-2 seconds it was keeping on gradually increasing or decreasing in brightness for roughly 10 seconds (depending on whether I look at or away from light source). It was comparable to increasing brightness in a videogame, just keep increasing it rapidly fast by small chunks at least 2 seconds apart. I was basically able to see darker parts of room get gradually brighter and laptop screen get darker. Listening to music felt like there's more depth perception to each song, because previously ignored background sounds and instruments seemed more noticeable. Watching a trippy music video, however, was a crappy idea, because it upset my stomach. I had to puke almost in an instant. That junk food was obviously a bad idea, I was aware of that while eating it, though it was worth it to reduce the persisting aftertaste. I wish it at least tasted better, so I wouldn't mind the taste one more time. Benzydamine still wasn't done just yet. Actually, there's still a main course ahead.

There's an old wrinkled yellow-colored wall in the WC of my apartment. Looks as if it was constantly bashed on since its creation. After removing all the junk from inside of me, I noticed some spots on the wall in motion. Tiny tips of wrinkles on the completely yellow colored wall seemed to be of weak red shade in chaotic circular movement. Everything disappeared as I leaned closer to it and again reappeared as I got distant enough. I realized it's the ant hallucination, common first symptom to emerge after psychotic outbreaks or drug intoxications. I was so thrilled! Just as I was about to get back to my room, something else caught my eye - my puke calmly swimming around. It was very clear, the blurry vision of objects I had just some moments ago is gone. Within a few seconds of staring contest, a chunk of that filthy slime seemed to transform. Certain pukey portions created imaginary boundaries and were basically reshaping themselves as long as I kept staring at them without blinking. Eventually, even more complex shapes formed themselves to the point of distinguishability. All of those newly shaped objects had properties of holographic 2D pictures, they were static and minimalistically colored (white to grey) and some of them were strikingly detailed. Most of those I could distinguish were static distorted faces of monsters from old games, Wolfgang A. Mozart or a laughing skull. A single twitch of my eye was enough to completely break any illusion. Whatever object appeared, it had nothing to do with my thoughts and I couldn't really alter anything other than just keeping on looking... So I had a staring contest with my puke for 10 minutes. I tried to enhance those 2D illusions by adding my spit to the mixture, but it had a completely opposite effect - the striking color contrast between spit and vomit prevented fluent illusions from appearing. Bummer. I checked out mirror view next, but that was quite uneventful, I even looked sober. The only thing that seemed off was my eye color which looked fascinatingly brighter than usual, like clean sea-water blue.

I sit back in my visibly less illuminated room. This phase can be called a virtual reality phase - whatever I look on, chances are I can make it do something in a matter of few seconds that only my glitched brain currently percepts. All lights were completely unstable - flashes, sparks, lines, shiny floaters, even clouds of darkness appearing out of nowhere and moving around my field of view, disappearing and reappearing, shadows changing shapes, all of this just seconds apart. As sunlight was still coming in from the outside while slowly losing intensity, it was really awkwardly bending some shadows - they weren't slowly fading away, instead I percepted them as if the uppermost part of any shadow was a bunch of cubes that were rapidly disappearing one by one, sometimes even not disappearing at all, distorting the leftover shape further. Wooden wardrobe in front of me made of two shades of brown was randomly interchanging its colors while animated edges of gibberish was projecting onto it in dark pink/purple color shade. This projected mishmash had different properties than previous puke holograms, because it wasn't static nor anywhere as detailed, but rather in constant motion, like a blurry screen of a TV currently airing a cartoon program. Noticing it required far less focus and was basically instantly appearing whenever I looked at that part of room over the course of pretty much entire trip peak. Sometimes I recognized some obvious shapes like Disney characters, witches or satan, but focusing my sight didn't make them much clearer nor detailed, so it hasn't remained a center of my focus for very long. Objects around me, while not blurry, were percepted falsely. Everything was in constant motion, including empty bottles around me, the cup I intoxicated myself with, laptop... Everything, as long as it was on the edges of my view, was in back and forth perpetual pulsating motion even without my focus. Even if there was something in the center of my view, I could make it seem like it's moving around by touching one of my eyelids with finger and gently pushing. Looking at the back of my hand I noticed formication, but didn't interpret it as such. It was as if my hand was made of gelatine and small bubbles of it were forming and rapidly subduing below the skin, somewhat reminding me of viscous flowing lava liquid. Strangely, it was noticeable at almost any distance, I could make it stop only by dragging my hand right in front of my eyes. This had me slightly scared at first, because I was realizing my blood pressure may be very high and thought I'm actually not hallucinating, explaining this instead as a result of vessels pumping blood at a fast enough rate and volume for it to create these wobbly bumps. Staring at my fingers while slowly pushing them to less illuminated area, I could create two E.T. Faces on the skin over both joints. My arm hair looked like grey, hazy mush that's constantly dancing around. I still barely feel any pain on the skin. Darkness below the table around my legs was prone to forming vivid grey faces and haunting objects uncomfortably close to me. My unplugged yellow lamp shaped into a huge green-tinted picture of Ben Franklin. An empty soda bottle on the table was sparkingly white inside, almost as if some gas was swirling in it and water droplets dangling on the sides were unusually bright and numerous for an empty bottle.

Focusing on the upper dark corner of my room was yielding even more interesting stuff, like huge 3D statuettes forming themselves and moving upwards through the upper wall or even doing recognizable movements. These illusions were the most unstable, required a lot of focus and easily disappeared in a blink of an eye. A hole in the window net behind me seemed like it's moving on its own around the window and randomly shaped into holographic static grey faces, including a lost soul from the doom series. One of my slippers took on a form of some cyclops head thing and stared angrily at me even after looking away and back. I couldn't notice anything significant happening in my view while having my eyes closed besides a few fading holographic faces, except for a brief moment when something around 2x3 millimeters wide appeared around the center of my view that was fully colored rather than white/black, but too small to be distinguishable (seemed like TV screen with some sitcom broadcasting). My shadow behind me was dancing around back and forth while the upper part of it started to shrink and transform into a single tiny black line. Disturbances in peripheral vision were common - at one point while looking at the screen with music on, it seemed like the door to my room, situated conveniently to be at the rightmost end of my view, was opening and completely black figurine enters the room, while other time a lamp on the leftmost part of my view was pulsating shining sparkles despite being still unplugged. All of those random flashes of light and shadow shenanigans could be potentiated by slowly closing my eyes, revealing even more drastic light and color distortions. I'm not sure if I had any auditory hallucination, because there's a lot of sounds coming from everywhere, but one particular sound, namely the one that you hear when Mario hits a question mark box and a coin comes out... Well, I could hear it loudly out of nowhere along with some more gibberish that I wasn't paying much attention to. One unremarkable sound I've noticed stopped immediately after I moved with my head. The screen of laptop was strangely uneventful while staring at it. The only changing of shapes happening was of chunks of dirt glued onto screen, but drawing some MS paint shapes didn't yield anything other than edges of my keyboard buttons shining from left to right in the motion of mexican waves. In complete darkness I could still percept colors like red and green mushes forming themselves in the center of my view and moving around, but any other illusions were notably less detectable. My perception of time was most likely just as impaired, I probably wouldn't have been able to keep track of time were it not for a digital timer on my laptop screen.

When the amount of visual mumbojumbo started to decrease, I turned the lights on and went immediately to my laptop to write down everything I can remember. Strangely, I remember quite a lot, which would be an unlikely case with anticholinergics, as people usually wake up after a trip with only minimal recollections that usually have to be filled in by witnesses. From the effects, I can conclude that it didn't work quite like high dose of anticholinergics because of no noticeable salivary glands suppression, short term memory wasn't anywhere near as impaired and my sight was never distorted to the point of being unable to recognize letters of written text. The nature of the trip was probably 50:50 deliriant/hallucinogen combo, with supposed stimulation that gets negligible influence during the peak, but definitely does work, because I've written this entire report in one sitting still intoxicated and added only few revisions the day after. The psychostimulation is almost weak amphetamine-like, no feelings of hunger or thirst over the course of entire effect duration. Premature sleeping is unlikely, this thing will keep me awake for quite a while. The pain reduction may be from certain anaesthetic properties, maybe even contributing to the bizzaro trip in some way. The comedown is tolerable, but it's still a comedown. Somewhat frequent were disturbances in peripheral vision usually in form of sudden increases in brightness in the rightmost or leftmost points of view persisting throughout the comedown. This was especially irritating part of comedown, because these disturbances were quite vivid even in well illuminated room. Sometimes they had a shaking element to it, which I often percepted as movement, making me reflexively turn my head rapidly to the source only to discover nothing out of ordinary happening and my blood pressure rising for a moment. Those with anxiety would likely find this phase particularly unpleasant. The lenght of trip was roughly 12 hours. Around one hour after ingestion the most vivid perceptional alterations were taking effect and persisted for another 2 to 3 hours. However, mild visual hallucinations were possible to induce until over 8 hours since ingestion. I could always tell hallucinations are taking place and consciously realize it, at no point it fooled me into believing I'm witnessing a reality. Developing dependance or addiction are, in my opinion, out of question.

Overall, a fascinating brain glitch simulator.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 115214
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 29, 2021	Views: 2,382
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Benzydamine (730) : First Times (2), Preparation / Recipes (30), Alone (16)