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I Still Get Terrified
Alcohol, Cigarettes & Methamphetamine
by anon
Citation:   anon. "I Still Get Terrified: An Experience with Alcohol, Cigarettes & Methamphetamine (exp115230)". Erowid.org. Jun 28, 2023. erowid.org/exp/115230

  oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine  
    smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes  
  2 lines inhaled Methamphetamine (powder / crystals)
  Repeated inhaled Methamphetamine (powder / crystals)
The Time I Accidentally Did Meth

This happened while I was serving in the US Army. I was recently married and about to move out of my barracks room and into my new apartment, so the day I accidentally did meth was spent cleaning out my barracks room with my wife and getting my stuff moved out. We decided to stay in a motel that night, since our move-in date was the following day, and being a moderate alcoholic at the time I bought some wine for her and I to drink that night.

After we had settled into the motel room, I went out front to have a smoke, and being a little buzzed, I struck up a conversation with a man who was also smoking. He seemed pretty cool and we parted knowing we'd probably see each other again that night. Well, next time I saw him he mentioned he was pretty high on pot, and we started talking drugs. That's when his friend came out, and he flat out told me he could get me whatever I asked for. My wife liked coke, and even though I usually didn't do drugs because of frequent drug tests at work, I decided I could get some for her and do a couple lines with her to celebrate moving into our new place.

The dude called his friend and said I wanted two grams, and like that he was on his way. The new friends I'd just met said they were gonna go smoke a bowl in one of their cars. A few minutes later the first guy I had met earlier that day came back and said that he thought they meant a few bowls of weed, but they actually pulled out meth pipes. That should've been an instant red flag but I was drunk and making some very uncharacteristic bad decisions already, so I just stood around and waited for the coke guy to come. He did and told me to get in the car with him, another massive red flag that I ignored.

We drove to his house and he was acting extremely nervous and I started wondering if I was being kidnapped, but eventually I was dropped off back at the motel. I paid the guy without even looking at what he handed me first, since I just wanted to get the hell out of that car already, and found all the dudes I'd met hanging around out front. They proceeded to tell me I was an idiot for getting into his car and that I was extremely lucky nothing bad happened to me, a conclusion I'd already made by then. I finally looked at the little baggie he'd given me and knew right away that it wasn't the two grams I paid for, but I decided to cut my losses, go back to the room and party with my wife.

When I got there I handed her the baggie and went to the bathroom. When I came out she went into the bathroom, and there were two lines on the hotel desk. I immediately snorted them both. It felt like a cocaine high at first, the familiar euphoria and burst of energy, but it was coming on stronger and faster than any coke I'd ever done before. My wife came out of the bathroom and told me she didn't think it was coke. We opened the baggie and looked and found a small, reddish-gray crystal covered in off-color white powder. I wasn't as disturbed at realizing it was meth as I should've been (it being a drug I'd sworn never to even try when I was younger) because the high felt fantastic, it was very similar to a cocaine high, with euphoria and energy and I was very talkative, but it kept getting stronger instead of fading away like coke usually does after about an hour.

She said she was gonna throw the rest away, and I decided to call my dad, who is a substance abuse counselor who used to experiment with meth when he was a teenager. He told me that I was gonna be up for probably the whole night, that I shouldn't take anymore and that I should just ride it out until the morning. I told him I'd do exactly that and hung up.

My wife suggested we go out for a drive and talk. I asked her if she threw the stuff away and she said yes. I suggested we take another bump each, just one more, and then flush the rest. See, I was thinking that it would wear off fast, like coke, and didn't want to come down while we were enjoying our drive together. Needless to say we didn't flush any of it.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
We drove and talked and listened to music for hours. She started driving extremely poorly after a few more lines and actually ran over a median on a highway and almost went into the wrong side of the road. Thankfully the road was empty at that hour. We started having car troubles eventually and decided to just stay the night at the barracks instead of the motel, since I had Physical Training (PT) at 6:30 the next morning. We stayed the night in an empty room that nobody was living in and stayed up the entire night talking. We talked about so many topics that I can't even remember most of it, I just remember we both had a profound interest in what each other was saying. The time flew by, we kept doing lines, and I went out to do PT. I was terrified that somebody would realize I was high, that my pupils would be super dilated or I'd act weird or something, but everything went fine. I went on a run and felt like I had a limitless well of stamina.

Eventually I went back to the barracks to collect my wife and together we went to check out of the motel room and grab our stuff. Already the vibes were weird. The strong connection we had both felt all night was suddenly gone, and it felt to both of us like we were being weird around each other. It almost felt like an acid trip where the vibes just go bad and everything feels off.

She was driving even worse now and would accidentally run over every curb during right hand turns. We went and signed our lease and moved into the apartment, and we did the last of the meth. Afterwards we went to go drive somewhere, I can't even remember where, but my wife accidentally backed the car up into one of the neighbors' cars (thankfully there was no damage and nobody saw it) and we decided we probably shouldn't drive anywhere, which was the first good decision we'd made in a twelve hour span so far.

This is where the horrible part begins. Neither of us had eaten or slept in over 24 hours, we were out of meth, and the dreaded comedown was coming. I was expecting it to be like a cocaine comedown, just depression and lack of motivation for the rest of the day until I got some sleep. I was not prepared for the multi-day hell that followed.

After doing some research, in hindsight, the meth was probably contaminated, and considering the shady source I'd gotten it from, it's not surprising. I didn't notice any significant effects for most of the day, except that everything got pretty slow and dull after the constant over-stimulation started to wear off. At night is when things turned bad. We had no furniture yet, just a mattress on the floor, and it was impossible to fall asleep. I started having visual hallucinations that seemed like something I'd see on LSD, the ceiling was all wavy and the paint on the walls looked like it was dripping down, but after a while it just kept getting stronger and stronger, the visuals started getting more intense and I started hearing voices
I started having visual hallucinations that seemed like something I'd see on LSD, the ceiling was all wavy and the paint on the walls looked like it was dripping down, but after a while it just kept getting stronger and stronger, the visuals started getting more intense and I started hearing voices
and random noises too.

I began getting paranoid that I had brain damage and was gonna be in this bad meth trip forever, and had to wake up my wife several times to have her calm me down. Eventually I went to the bathroom to pee and my pee was dark orange and smelled bad, and I started seeing things under my skin in the light. It looked like things were crawling around and my skin started to turn a mottled blue-black color the longer I watched. I told myself that it wasn't real, but I was freaked out, I had never seen such realistic hallucinations before despite using psychedelics pretty frequently.

I started googling my symptoms to see when it would end and found articles about meth psychosis, about how it could last days or weeks or even longer, which did absolutely nothing for my state of mind. I started to believe that I'd be like that forever and started questioning everything in my reality. The hallucinations would calm down for a while and then start back up unexpectedly again. I ended up not sleeping at all for the second night in a row and in the morning, feeling awful in every way, I headed to PT.

I kept having weird attacks in the car where I felt like I was drowning and couldn't breathe, and the lack of food and sleep was catching up to me. I felt like I was in some weird dream world, out of touch with reality, and knew there was no way in hell I could function at work like that. I ended up telling a sergeant when I got to PT formation that I felt sick and he told me to go get a COVID test, which got me a two week quarantine to ride out the comedown. We went back home and I tried to eat and sleep but could do neither. The hallucinations kept disappearing and coming back stronger and my body kept feeling sicker and sicker.

Eventually things started returning to normal, and the more I thought about the last few days, the more I started to panic. My wife and I almost died or got arrested numerous times, I'd gotten into a car with a sketchy ass stranger, I'd shown up to work sky-high on meth. The whole time we were high it just felt fun, and I remember feeling invincible. We wouldn't wreck the car, nothing bad would happen to us, we just laughed it all off. After sobering up I started realizing how many terribly close calls we had, and I was amazed that nothing happened to us. I still get terrified every time I think about it even though it happened months ago, like I'm still utterly blown away by my sheer good fortune that night, even though my wife and I have moved on from that experience.

Exp Year: 2020ExpID: 115230
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Jun 28, 2023Views: 806
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Alcohol - Beer/Wine (199), Tobacco - Cigarettes (266), Methamphetamine (37) : Various (28), Relationships (44), Multi-Day Experience (13), Hangover / Days After (46), Performance Enhancement (50), What Was in That? (26), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)

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