DOSE:

repeated

insufflated

Methamphetamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

125 lb

My husband and I were about to move into our (now) apartment, we were living in his barracks room, we reached the deadline to move so we rented the cheapest motel for a few days to transition. The date to get kicked out of the barracks and sign the new lease were on the same day. Whatever it was convenient.

We pull up to the motel, a neckbeard looking guy opens the door for us, we exchange pleasantries. Over the course of the night my husband would go out to smoke, in that time he became friendly with the man. My husband entered our room and informed me that the man outside could get us cocaine and acid. We already had cash pulled out for other purposes so he went back outside to seal the deal.

An hour goes by, he’s not responding to my calls or texts, there were three men standing outside the hotel, the man he befriended and two homeless men. I approached them and they said he’d be back soon. He showed up another 30 minutes after. He’s perfectly fine, he hands me a tied baggy, the coke I usually got was in those 10 cent baggies, the only time I’d seen it packaged like this it was crack.

My husband leaves again to go buy acid, I untied the baggy and made two sloppy lines. When I sniffed it my head burned, I knew it was off, I just couldn’t believe it. I took the rest of the line and started googling everything about meth. I was pacing around the room freaking out, I kept going back and forth in my mind whether I should pretend to throw it away and take the rest for myself or flush it. Then I had to take a massive poop so I did.

When I got out of the bathroom my husband was back and he’d already taken a hit. He didn’t want to but we took a drive. So we went on a drive up Cheyenne Mountain and looked at the city lights. I was recounting my time being a prostitute, all of my memories were so clear. My husband and I are getting along better than we ever had. He was finally confident and I was finally interested in what he was saying. Our car broke down at a gas station, a ton of people dropped by to help us. In the end a jeep nomad saved our car for 20 bucks.

We drove back to the barracks, it’s around 11pm by this time. We snuck into an empty barracks room. We sat down, taking lines on the desk, while I asked him questions about the cold war. I start seeing things, when I look at him, his face will appear to be other things, like a bowl of fruit or a beautiful woman. So we did that until 5:30 because he had to go do PT by this time it looked like we had massive purple bags beneath our eyes, our pupils were saucers. Regardless he completed PT with no problems.

We'd been sniffing all night, he had the day off because we had to sign our lease. So we went to the apartment complex at 9 am. Our eyes were massive, the people who worked at the apartments were eyeing us for our obvious tweakyness. We did the deal, we went into our apartment and unpack. Papers everywhere, it was dark, clothes on the ground, only a few bumps left.

The more it fades the more the reality is clear, I ask him if he wants to get more, he refuses fervently. We slept in the new apartment that night… Well, not really. My husband was up all night, he saw nightmarish shit everywhere, even when his eyes were closed. Bugs in his skin, people at the foot of the mattress, etc. Whenever I shut my eyes I see vivid shitty Broadway shows, the people and places look tacky and the music is bad, which is weird because I can’t see anything in my imagination unless I’m on acid.

It was out of my system but I didn’t even feel like me, like I never knew who I was before. Like I possessed a body. The worst part was that my meth self was the kind of person I want to be. I was finally nice and I genuinely cared about what people were talking about, like I could connect to people in a way I never could. My husband was no longer himself either, he was silent for a week, he no longer smiled or joked. It was like being married to a stranger except I was a stranger too. It was lonely, my mind was blank for a few days after.

If I weren’t married I’d do nothing but get high.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115232
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 16, 2021	Views: 856
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