Citation: Anatoli Smorin. "Molasses-Mania: An Experience with 3-MeO-PCE, 3-MeO-PCP, 2-Fluorodeschloroketamine, & 2'-Oxo-PCE (exp115250)". Erowid.org. Mar 10, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115250
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 0:00
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 1:22
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 3:46
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 8:23
| T+ 8:24
| T+ 8:24
||Alcohol - Beer/Wine
| T+ 8:57
||Alcohol - Beer/Wine
| T+ 9:48
| T+ 9:48
||Alcohol - Hard
Within the realm of substance experimentation I would classify myself as well travelled. I have over a decade of exploration spanning tryptamines, dissociatives, phenethylamines, opioids, opiates, and stimulants. In the past few years arylcyclohexylamines have taken hold as my favorite class of substances.
I have been experimenting semi-frequently with some new-to-me arylcyclohexylamines. These experiences began as ďget to know youĒ episodes with the new substances, beginning at lower dosages and then working up into strong intensity experiences. From here, I returned to lower dosages and began working my way through combinations of these substances. These combinations were more art than science; I chose dosages and substances for these dissociative cocktails based on my own previous experienceís dosages and effects of each of the involved substances. All these experiments occurred using the same batches of each material.
Prior to this experience, I laid out a designed dosage schedule to assist me in executing this multi-psychoactive-substance experience. I hoped to avoid odd gaps of sobriety along with overpowering sections resulting from improper timing and estimation of the duration and intensity profile of each substance involved. This planning included the alcohol and benzodiazepines at the end of the evening.
It should be noted that I have extensive experience with 3-MeO-PCP and 2F-DCK, far less so with 3-MeO-PCE and O-PCE. 3-MeO-PCE in particular has proven tricky for me to produce a full experience report on. For whatever reason, it puts me in a state of mind where documenting takes a back seat to enjoying the effects of the experience itself, creating holes in my note taking that render the notes incomplete to the point that Iím discouraged from translating them to a full fledged report. Additionally, the effects, especially at lower social dosages, are difficult to describe; much more subtle mental shifts than full fledged dissociative holes that have visuals and intense mental contortions that tend to translate better from experience to written word. To help work around these challenges, I began implementing a two-tiered audio recording system in addition to my normal written note taking. The audio recording methodology was to keep one recording running the entirety of the experience, and to supplement this with short, more pointed audio recordings when I felt I had something particularly worthwhile to say, but perhaps didnít want to physically write out the commentary. This system was more time consuming, and at times painful hearing my ramblings and broken sentences in retrospect, but in the end it was a successful technique to push forwards my attempts at documentation.
My intention for this particular evening, in regards to intensity, was to achieve a ++ or +++ on the Shulgin Rating Scale. I had hopes of exploring, through smaller primary dosages, the lower intensity effects, that I have found so useful, friendly, and compatible with mid-week use. Using booster dosages, I aspired to see and track how these chemicals progress towards more intense, Ďpsychedelicí experiences. I did not plan on attempting to reach any sort of Ďholeí or out of body experience on this given evening. I felt that would be best saved for a stand alone report of its own.
The setting for the experience was my home, nestled up in forested mountains. I am in the company of my partner Kai and our two dogs Gee and Doc.
I had no tolerance to any of the substances ingested besides alcohol. An average day for me includes 3-5 drinks in the evenings. I also take vitamin D3 and mesalamine, daily, for a lifelong stomach condition. I do not believe either of these substances affected the experience.
The substances used in this experience was procured from vetted sources that supplied lab testing results. No red flags were raised when I conducted some basic reagent testing. I believe the substances to be pure and true.
Physical Descriptions of the Chemicals:
2-Fl-2'-Oxo-PCM | 2F-DCK:
Small and medium crystals. These easily slid around on a hard surface or inside a baggie. The larger pieces are perhaps one centimeter across and have an opaque coloring to them that allows them to transmit some light through them but they are not a glass-like. When crushed, the crystals audibly broke down and left a fine white colored powder. The process of crushing this substance took a few passes.
Very fine, sugar-like granules. The material is essentially pure white in color and it crushed up with relative ease. There is no clumping type quality; all the tiny particles moved freely around the bag when tilted.
A very fine powder that is pure white. When crushed it reassembled the texture of flour and clumps together, hanging onto the back of the library card used in its preparation. Despite the sting it provided upon insufflation, the powder itself is very soft in every aspect of its appearance.
2'-Oxo-PCE | O-PCE:
Small crystalline granules, much like a white beach sand crossed with table salt. It seemed a bit more fine than average sand. The color is pretty close to actual white, perhaps a touch of eggshell is present, but not much. A very standard ďwhite powderĒ.
All of the dosages in the report below were prepared using a freshly calibrated milligram scale. In the case of the benzodiazepines, they were personally prepared in propylene glycol solutions to a specific mg/ml strength and then each dosage was measured using a fresh oral syringe.
T + 00:00 [1:38 PM]
Off to the races. I crush up fifteen milligrams of 3-MeO-PCE and five milligrams of 3-MeO-PCP as finely as I can and insufflate both in two strong sniffs. There is no immediate sting but after a few minutes a sharp acidic burn is present. From prior experience, I know this is mostly from the 3-MeO-PCP rather than the 3-MeO-PCE.
T + 00:19 [1:57 PM]
The discomforts of insufflation are at their worst now. The sting is beginning to curtail, but a drip is now detectable with a flavor combination of chemical and mint. While not intense, I find the sensation to be very high-pitched and pointy. Iím looking forward to it going away.
Iím quickly distracted from the discomfort in my nasal passage and back of my throat by the energy that is piling into my mind and body. The intense energy presents mostly in the form of a body high that quickly approaches uncomfortable. My scalp, at the hair follicles, tingles and feels slightly damp, as though Iím sweating even though Iím not. This feeling teeters between pleasant and annoying. The tingling increases until it feels feels more like small shocks and tickles where each hair meets my skin. I twitch lightly several time as this prickling moves around my scalp in small square inch sized sections; one spot activating as another ceases. Safe to say Iím past a Ī level now and rapidly progressing upwards.
Iíve set myself up on the couch to work on a bit of writing that Iíve been procrastinating on lately. Having this task to focus on quells the unease and begins to turn my mood from one of concern to one of optimism and excitement about my current, and anticipated, productivity.
Glances around the room indicate the substances are becoming visually active. This is not particularly obvious, lacking movement or patterns. Everything is slightly swollen and the colors richer than normal. The glances move faster and faster, shifting to new areas of the room to inspect the colors. My mind mimics this, or drives it? Woosh Ė my mind is really starting to move fast. Thoughts and observations nearly intermingle, becoming a cause for momentary concern; the come-up starting to kick in heavy now. Iím a +1 now.
My eyes feel WIDE OPEN. I shut them to take a few deep breaths and try to steady myself.
T + 00:43 [2:21 PM]
The sensation of rushing is thankfully beginning to settle; amazing what a moment of centering and a few concentrated breaths can do. Oddly the taste of the drip is back, from the insufflation that seems so long ago. Iím sniffling more and more frequently, every few seconds I sniff back a little bit of the chemical flavor.
I wander my way to the fridge, pausing to pet Gee and Doc. Both are lazily napping, so I leave them to it and smile on my way to eat some leftovers as a snack. No appetite suppression; the food actually tastes better than it did sober last night. Some cold pasta, meatballs, and sauce are really doing the fucking job right now. The sustenance and familiarity of the flavors are really hitting the spot helping to ground me, creating a sense of comfort as the experience continues its development.
Swapping my fork for a pen, Iím enjoying the process of writing about a past psychedelic experience and the feeling of productivity that comes from getting some quality sentences down.
The feeling is fleeting. My motivation is not strong enough to dig through older written notes and audio recordings to assist with my progress. I'm only enticed by more interesting lower effort editing and colorful writing. Despite the apparent restrictions, I appreciate the increased motivation.
T + 00:54 [2:32 PM]
Besides a chill in my hands and feet, I feel at ease and settled into things now. My energy is still uptempo from sober, but in the manner I feel when Iím driving a little too fast in my car with good music playing loudly on the stereo rather than being on a broken roller coaster that is about to go off the rails at any moment like I did early. Social interaction on a text messaging application is nice, but Iím not fiending for it like I might on a stimulant.
The overall mood is now one of positive calm anticipation and excitement about the evening to come.
T + 01:06 [2:44 PM]
All the chills have gone away. Intensity picks up; despite this settling sensation I can tell Iím getting deeper into the experience. There is a newfound depth to all my senses. Sounds are amplified, particularly any sort of mechanical drone like the whirring of the refrigerator. There is a light static developing in the air; a familiar black and white display of shimmering dots that are especially present in my peripherals. Along with this, all the objects in my visual field seem more defined, albeit a bit more plump than normal. Close inspection reveals that my ottoman does indeed seem to have gained a few pounds, bulging outwards along its hyper-defined edges.
I feel more in control now, but the manic energy is returning in a major way. Eyes wide open, mind wide open, I feel fucking fantastic about my past, present, and future. There are no negative thoughts to be had; theyíre an impossibility. I wouldnít say Iím intoxicated, although I am by the general definition of the word. Right now Iím basking in a drug-induced clarity.
Any remaining frustrations fall away as excitement swells. My appetite to be productive is still playing a significant role in my mind but it has shifted to a future tense. I donít want to do anything now
, but planning for future improvements to my life; relationships, habits, and attitude, are lovely to think about with the positive mindset. Energy continues to build in these ideas; I know
them to be utterly true, my whole being believes everything Iím thinking. This is a trademark characteristic for me of many manic arylcyclohexylamines, 3-MeO-PCP in particular
my whole being believes everything Iím thinking. This is a trademark characteristic for me of many manic arylcyclohexylamines, 3-MeO-PCP in particular
. Positivity is rampaging my world.
T + 01:22 [3:00 PM]
I wipe a light sweat from more forehead as I prepare forty milligrams of 2F-DCK and consume it orally in a gel capsule. I havenít ever taken this substance orally before, but on the advice of a friend, decided to give it a try. Iím hoping the 2F-DCK will introduce a little more wonkiness, increase visuals, and provide a calmer, more sedated balance to the experience across from the sheer manic energy of the more stimulating dissociatives Iíve ingested so far this evening.
T + 02:13 [3:51 PM]
I think the 2F-DCK has reached about 25% intensity. It was difficult to feel the first alerts of the material, given that it was competing against my initial dosages which were already in full effect. The 2F-DCK is now clearly playing a role though; this is a three-substance experience in earnest now. I can feel the edginess and stimulation of the 3-MeO-PCE and 3-MeO-PCP being softened and dialed back. The new addition seems to be urging me to take deeper, fuller breaths. It beckons me to lie back, sink a little deeper into the couch, take a load off, slow my thoughts down a little. Pretty much immediately, Iím in love with the combination. The triad is far superior to the pair Ė the threesome is providing the more holistic set of effects I want. Everything feels much softer and friendlier now. The positivity that began in the afternoon was enjoyable, but very sharp, Ďin my faceí, and everything seemed to happen at a breakneck pace. I am retaining the upbeat mood but at a more manageable tempo now; really falling into a groove.
T + 02:44 [4:22 PM]
The weight of the experience is growing, I can tell my judgement is beginning to loosen from its rigid, factual, tight sober style. My conversations, with Kai, friends on my phone, and with myself internally, are all very friendly, more outwardly so than I am on an average, un-intoxicated day. I browse the internet for a few minutes and find Iím dangerously close to doing some online shopping that I really donít need to do, and really canít afford either. I shut that down, literally, closing the laptop, returning to my pleasant conversations.
The stone of the fireplace is suddenly taking on a very spongy and cartoonish appearance. A soft saturation drapes my entire visual field. This feels similar to the beginning of a tryptamine experience, but without any color shifting or pattern movement at all. There is certainly no doubling, slicing, strong visual static, or any other of the classic categories of psychedelic visual effects. I feel very at ease and calm in the moment. Iím certainly well past a + level now for sure. I may actually be nearing a ++ in some ways. I find this difficult to judge with some arylcyclohexylamines, specifically those that are less visual and less prone to offering hole experiences to me. Most of the time I actually feel pretty functional, both mentally and physically, especially compared to a strong ketamine, methoxetamine, or even alcohol experience, but despite this, there is this obvious strength to the experience that is tricky to pin down and describe. The 2F-DCK has made identifying a Shulgin Scale Rating easier, and I expect that the last player of the evening, yet to be introduced, will also make the intensity of the experience easier to judge.
T + 03:17 [4:55 PM]
I move to settle with Kai and the two dogs downstairs where she is watching a show on the T.V. I am absorbed pretty quickly, and begin unintentionally ignoring some of the substances effects, immersed in the show despite its mediocrity. This increased and singular focus is present no matter what my setting is. The show, which has been getting 100% of my attention, is immediately and entirely forgotten the moment I leave the room on my way to the bathroom and kitchen.
Whatever Iím doing and seeing becomes my ďmain taskĒ, my only
task it seems. Full commitment is easy to give; no multi tasking here. I seem to have found the thin line between consuming and engaging. The inclinations to plan my future stemming from the 3-MeO-PCE and 3-MeO-PCP have been pushed aside. The 2F-DCK is telling me: only this moment matters. I take great enjoyment in having two distinct mindsets, all within a few hours. This offers a well rounded aspect to the evening that some single substance experiences can lack.
Beneath the pleasantries of the experience is a bit of uneasiness; what direction should I take the experience? Am I enjoying the experience or surviving it? I am having fun, but I also have intermittent concerns. These worries cantít really be traced to any logical source, but every few minutes a sense of anxiety and nervousness bubble up to the surface of my mind. I wonder if I am okay and if this substance use was too forced, rushed, or ill-intentioned.
As the unfounded anxieties fade, washed underneath the latest wave of 2F-DCK, an internal softness soothes me; a caring, warm, empathetic, and sharp state of mind. Iím able to rationalize that my dosages were safe, I have the absolute right to recreationally indulge in these substances, and Iím in a comfortable, supportive environment. I feel not only okay, but once again excited to be high and continue on with the experience.
T + 03:46 [5:24 PM]
Selecting O-PCE as a fast onset dissociative option that I think will perform well in the goal of driving the evening to a climax, I insufflate eight milligrams of the substance. My plan is to ride this latest dosage to its peak and then let everything naturally degrade until sleep. The insufflation is pretty painless, without notable strong flavor. This is very likely due to the fact that Iím already on three dissociatives.
Even with the introduction of the 2F-DCK and O-PCE I do not have any of the traditional dissociative confusion. Overall I feel very pleasant physically and mentally. The four substances seem to be playing more equal roles now, leaving me in a molasses-mania. I feel stupendous, very positive and upbeat, but emotions and life in general are now occurring at a more manageable pace where I feel a bit more in control than I did on the first two substances alone.
T + 04:03 [5:41 PM]
The balance is disrupted by a wave of O-PCE that washes over my mind first with an almost opioid-esque warmth and fuzziness. I can typically feel the first effects of this substance less than five minutes after taking it, but again, it makes sense that with the additional substances in my system, a higher threshold is required of any additional substance to make its presence known amidst the other chemicals that have a head start. Despite being the latest to join the party, O-PCE takes center stage and does so with authority. A sedating body high makes all my limbs feel like lead. The heavy feeling groans and grinds, glowing through me in an exceptionally pleasant manner. The heavy euphoria is not emanating from my bones as it might on an opioid or opiate, this is more Ďin the meatí.
Minor visual trails can be seen following behind the movement of my hand and I write in my notebook. The trails are soft and smooth continuations of the shapes and colors of my fingers, palm, wrist, shirt sleeve, and pen. Waving my arms in larger circles confirms consistent trailing effects that are mildly interesting, but not intense enough to make me want to continue playing around with them.
Shifting my attention away from the visual, into the auditory sensory realm, things are moving and shaking. The fan on the wood stove, perhaps sixty feet away from me through a short hallway and in another room, is roaring. The mechanical whine sounds about as it does normally, without alterations in tone or pattern. The volume of the noise is the variable being toyed with. The whirring of the fan blades is three or four times louder than it normally is. The mechanical groaning is so loud, I have to ask Kai to crank up the volume on the T.V., I really canít hear the show over the internal amplification of the wood stove.
T + 04:34 [6:12 PM]
The O-PCE has really inhibited my fine and gross motor skills: putting firewood into the stove, and even arranging myself on the bed is awkward and challenging. While maneuvering myself between the blankets and pillows, I crash into one of the dogs and just feel generally out of sorts, without control of my limbs. Fluffing a pillow and turning over is way more of a task than it should be.
While walking to the bathroom, I stumble a bit in a ďI feel too short or too tall and canít really feel my legsĒ sort of way. This is different than when Iím drunk on alcohol and cannot find equilibrium. Instead this is like my legs are mechanical; operated by my brain, but my brain is several software updates behind, causing glitches and irregularities in execution.
T + 04:53 [6:31PM]
Gee and Doc need to be let outside to go to the bathroom. Like many evenings, I donít look forward to this task, especially on nights like tonight when there is some snow falling and the temperature is well below zero Fahrenheit. Knowing it has to be done, I lumber up the stairs through air that suddenly feels thick. I might as well be walking through gelatin, feeling the air pass by me in squishy, heavy movements. Despite the heavy physical sensation, my mind feels nearly as articulate as normal. Reflecting on my last burst of note-taking before heading upstairs, I realize that my processing speed is slightly reduced, by perhaps ten or twenty percent. I estimate this because I was able to write as fast as I was thinking. Typically during an experience I struggle to have my hand written notes keep pace with my thoughts.
As soon as I step outside, everything changes. Iím blown away. The frigid temps, high winds, and low density snow have all resulted in a dazzling white layer on absolutely everything in sight. I spin in a circle, taking in this Northern Narnia. The fir siding on the house along with every bit of ground and forest around me sports this new coat of paint. The trees in particular: every needle, every branch, every nook and cranny of bark on the trunks, glisten with what appears to be at least a few centimeters of white. They loom over me, seeming much taller and closer than normal; somewhere between typical evergreens in winter and snow monsters. As I walk the dogs down the pathway I ponder how much of this natural beauty is being accentuated by the substances Iíve ingested. As my eyes adjust to the moonlight, the answer to this question becomes clear. What I had initially seen as dazzling, was probably close to baseline view. As my eyes adapt to the lower light, I get the most intense visual effects of the experience.
Iím becoming spatially confused. Iíve been caught up staring into the meadow below me, which is now a field of complete white, decorated with a few features that are normally trees and bushes, but are now reduced to tricksters of depth perception, disguised by the fact that they shimmer with the same glistening points of light as the rest of the foreground. My eyes are having trouble differentiating near from far. Even as I attempt to force focus, the glints of light that dot the surface of the snow dance around and donít allow me to gain control of my vision. This progresses as the shimmering dots begin to aerially orchestrate themselves as a light breeze comes across the mountainside. I stand in awe, ignoring the dogs for a moment as they lightly pull at their leashes, and stare at what now appears to be several sheets of vertical mesh, gridlines, and intersection points, creating multiple layers of large commercial fishing nets made of sparkles, suspended in the air from the horizon to the ground. The junctions, where the knots would be on a net, are the dancing, flickering, twinkling lights. These nets sway around, causing cubes and other three dimension objects to register in my brain; a blazing display of light and white. All of this interacts with the sparkles that remain on a more horizontal plane; the ground, causing wonderment, but also a touch of confusion and vertigo.
I turn my attention to the dogs, allowing them to conduct their outdoor business. The cold is noticeable as I wait, but I donít mind it at all. Shifting my position relative to the moon has reduced the sparkling confusion significantly. I take some massive deep breaths, letting the cold air soothe me.
Despite it being late at night, in the far distance, there is a clear distinction between sky and hillside. I know the landscape to be about 1,000 yards away at its closest point, and this ridge collides with another hill thatís more like a mile from my current vantage point. Despite knowing these distances, even the farthest surroundings seem somehow in reach. I donít actually attempt to reach them, still maintaining some sanity, but I stand and witness as the horizonís angles change. Itís almost like the view has become akin to a snow globe which has a cone-like structure, allowing me to be at the center, but close to the sides at the same time. A very odd effect that is difficult to describe in the moment, and in retrospect. I could see the detail on distant trees and their ice decorations almost as well as ones directly besides me.
Making our way back along the path towards the house, I shift my focus to the largest of the surrounding trees. Towering firs typically draped in thick green moss, now transfigured entirely with dazzling white coats. I feel a touch of connection between myself and these breathing giants, feeling as though they are watching over me as I make my way back inside.
Interestingly, the heat of the house does not increase the effects of the substances. I often find that cold will dampen the intensity of my experiences, and heat will cause them to ramp up. Tonight I find the opposite, the initial come-up rush of the O-PCE, specifically its body load, is nearly entirely diminished by the time I settle back onto the couch in the living room. The concerns about surviving versus thriving through the experience are entirely gone now. The substances are really unifying now, achieving a nice balance and timing of their declines, allowing me certainty that Iíve now departed a strong ++ or light +++ experience level, heading for calmer waters.
T + 05:36 [7:14 PM]
Things are shifting gears now. My ďexperienceĒ is rapidly turning into a normal evening that I happen to be in a very calm, positive state of mind to enjoy. I suggest cooking some dinner to Kai, who readily agrees, seemingly pleased at my offer to assist and initiate the process.
Moving about the kitchen, Iím constantly a few steps behind Kai. Sheíll reach for the greens Iím supposed to be retrieving from the fridge, turn around, and find Iíve barely gotten the fridge opened up, hunting for the requested ingredients. Neither of us find this upsetting or bothersome, but itís noteworthy that Iím dulled down both mentally and physically with any task Iím executing.
My mood seems most under the influence of the 3-MeO-PCE, with its manic attitude and generally long duration, as well as the 2F-DCK, which with oral ingestion also seems to have an elongated duration. This combination gives me the energy to enjoy the cooking process as well as some of that wonderful ďbeauty exists by living in the momentĒ attitude. I grab Kai from behind and give her a big Ďol hug, whispering a thank you not only for her help and support in my choice to experiment today, but for everything she does for me, the dogs, and our life together.
T + 06:38 [8:16 PM]
Wow, before I know it, our dish of red sauced pasta and elk, accompanied by a grand colorful salad is ready to eat! Time is passing fast Ė this past hour or so has felt more like twenty minutes.
The taste of everything is delicious, my body had been hiding my hunger from me, but once I tasted the warm spicy food, I scarfed down my first serving, before treating myself to another more modest second round. Appetite suppression was clearly active early on in the evening, but has passed.
Kai and I discuss my experience, both smiling across the table at one another as I describe how ďfucking unbelievably cool it looks outside tonightĒ. We donít discuss any serious topics while eating, but I notice a constant theme of generosity and loving. The meal ends with me giving Doc and Gee our plates to lick clean Ė a treat we donít often give them, but it feels like the right thing to do tonight.
T + 07:03 [8:41 PM]
Gripped by the itis, I sink into a peaceful, nearly immobile position on the couch. I couldnít fall asleep, Iím too stimulated for that, but Iím enjoying the laziness, and completely accepting of it; not feeling any nagging thoughts that I should be up being productive. This is a heavenly state of being. Kai has some South American music playing in the background; itís not generally my favorite genre, but right now, it fits just right.
The closed-eye visuals I'm enjoying are somewhat sporadic, changing pace, subject matter, and depth of color saturation seemingly randomly. I canít help but wonder if this is each of the four substances taking turns, showing off their various style, blending from one to another with seamless transitions. Geometric shapes, outlined in grays and browns are filled with the primary sections of the color wheel. The action and movement of the visuals are like a classic circular kaleidoscope, transitioning between patterns at a mesmerizing slow pace. The sharply angled shapes disappear after a brief moment of opening my eyes, replaced with a similar but less defined array. Swirling clouds of soft pastel colors collide and mutate in slow motion. These are pleasant enough, but not very intense or particularly interesting.
Some lazy intermittent conversation flows between Kai and me, but she's mostly occupied with a book she's reading. I donít mind laying back and floating between random bits of thoughts, which have little consequence or deep meaning, listening to the music that continues to play in the background, or enjoying a nearly entirely blank mind that borders on meditative. Time slips by without much notice.
T + 08:23 [10:01 PM]
Down below a + now, I decide to take the rest of my evening in a truly relaxing direction. As per my plan, I slowly introduce the first benzodiazepine, .5 milligrams of etizolam, taken orally.
[10:02 PM] T + 08:24
Following closely after the etizolam is a light dosage of clonazolam at .15 milligrams. My idea here is to let the etizolam kick in pretty immediately and have the clonazolam come up slowly in the background, being the eventual agent of a solid night's sleep. I also open a beer [12 oz. 5.5 % ABV], more for the taste than the effects.
[10:35 PM] T + 08:57
Having rather enjoyed the first, I open a second beer [12 oz. 4.6 % ABV]. I can feel the etizolam beginning to dull the closed eyed visuals and the last remaining effects on my visual field. These were already reduced to slight color saturation and in the corners of my some visual static. I anticipate the second beer, and slowly arriving clonazolam will soon erase the psychedelic nature of the evening, guiding me into a worry free, physically sedated, wonderful space. Iíve moved from the couch to the bed now, feeling like the king of comfort beside Kai and Doc, who is particularly snuggly this evening.
[11:26 PM] T + 09:48
Solely in the name of hedonism, I measure out an additional .5 milligrams of the etizolam solution and wash it down with a shot of whiskey [1.5 fl. oz. 40% ABV]. These dissociatives, particularly the 3-MeO-PCE, have kept me awake in the past when attempting to sleep. While this isnít always necessarily unpleasant, I have no intentions of having such challenges tonight. Those slow to fall asleep evenings when no benzodiazepines have been involved, I might enjoy some lingering closed eyed visuals while dozing off. Since Iíve already boarded the benzo train, my preference is to commit to the peaceful sedation they offer.
T + 10:52 [12:30 PM]
Iím curling and uncurling in the bed. Everything is comfortable. I intermittently pet the dogs, appreciating their softness. My brain is not as clouded as it would be on benzos and alcohol alone. Despite the drowsy high from this combination, Iím feeling more chill than I am dazed or sedated. Although there is seemingly a complete lack of visual or mental effects from the dissociatives, I can still feel a level of alertness and awakeness that is most certainly coming from them. My guess is Iíd very likely already asleep without their lingering effects. For this reason Iíd say Iím still at a Ī, but for all intents and purposes, the experience, outside of the alcohol and benzos, is over.
T + 11:37 [1:15 AM + 1]
Wow, this has been a fantastic comedown! Iíve used the last half hour to reflect, both mentally and using pen and paper, about not only the experience Iíve just concluded, but also my life in general. Beyond reflections, Iíve been able to sketch out some tangible ways to implement some of the ideas Iíve come across during the day. I note this as especially interesting since I usually canít get this practical during experiences, itís usually a thing I attempt the next day, when things are often a little more distant, faded, or forgotten. The alcohol, clonazolam, and etizolam ending has been a wonderful way to wrap things up.
T + 11:49 [1:27 AM +1]
This was my final time check before closing my eyes until the morning. I slept great, waking up after about seven hours. I canít detect any sort of hangover besides potentially a very light glow from the clonazolam.
Overall Ė a pretty well rounded, enjoyable experience that offered a little bit of everything. Some mental simplification, some mental complication, some manic energy, and some blissful sedation. Most of the experience was markedly lacking any visual effects, with the exception of the very peak, which provided medium intensity, but very beautiful visuals. This was one of those times when a drug combination goes almost exactly as planned. The come-ups and durations of each substance mixed nicely with the one(s) before it. There were no awkward overlaps where things became too intense and the peak arrived just as desired. Everything tapered in unison; no one substance's effects dragging out longer than the others. In retrospect, Iíll likely try a very similar dosage schedule to this one in the future, with higher dosages across the board, especially with the O-PCE, 2F-DCK, and perhaps the addition of ketamine, now that I have this relatively moderate intensity trial under my belt.
The physical effects of this combination are worth a quick comment as well. All my bodyís soreness from the prior dayís strenuous ski adventure were wiped away early on after the initial dosages. This seemed to happen quick and with greater efficiency than Iíve experience in the past with any of these substances on their own. Interestingly, I never encountered the physical numbness that I often experience on 2F-DCK, O-PCE, ketamine, methoxetamine, and a number of other dissociatives. This is usually most noticeable when I lose the ability to feel the connection between my body and whatever I happen to be seated on; a sort of numb weightless floating sensation. In general, my body felt warmer and more comfortable than it does with some of dissociatives, like the ones I mentioned just above.
Mild music enhancement was noted during this experience, but it was more that I was less picky about what was on, and that everything somewhat mellow in nature was very agreeable to me. I didnít connect deeply with any music during the course of the evening. There were several instances however where I was very visually appreciative of the art that hangs on our walls. Several abstract pieces in particular struck me as absolutely perfect. As if the artist stopped adding layers and colors at exactly the right moment; the pieces would have been ruined by more work, and incomplete if additions had stopped any sooner.
For the period of the experience where I was focused on planning my future, and reflecting on life in general, I found that the content of the notes I took mostly held up to the scrutiny of sobriety the next day. I didnít wake up and dismiss the thoughts as a pile of theoretical nonsense clearly created in an intoxicated state. Some of the ideals, ideas, and goals I identified and hypothesized courses of action to achieve have been successfully implemented. Knowing that there was a portion of the evening where I was immersed in watching T.V. or just zoning out, this really impressed me. Some of the most interesting self reflection about insecurities and internal assessment happened way past the peak of the experience when I was mostly under the influence of the benzos. I do still think the other substances played a role in these thoughts, either through very background chemical action, or from the experience they had just provided. This really was a great example of a cocktail of psychoactive compounds offering a unique, tailored, diverse evening.
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