Citation: L. "Feeling the Hole Overtake Me: An Experience with DMXE (exp115267)". Erowid.org. Apr 10, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115267
120mg live report:
Goal: An experience similar to a K-hole. Hoping for psychedelic effects, as my previous experiences only have had dissociative effects.
Tolerance: Slight tolerance due to prior DMXE use, though Iím very sensitive to substances. 20mg was quite intense for me, so keep that in mind.
Prior DMXE experience: Iíve tried up to 60mg (oral), and it was a very nice experience. Although I still didnít get any ďpsychedelic-dissociativeĒ effects, just pure dissociation and a warm tingling in my body.
T+0:00 measured out 0.24g, and dissolved in 5ml solvent. Taking 2.5ml with an oral syringe for a 120mg dose. Solution smells very strong in comparison to prior DMXE solutions of mine, due to a higher concentration. The solution is very cloudy and has a very slight tan. Taste is very both bitter and sweet, though still fairly easy to get down with water.
T+0:11 No effects so far.
T+0:14 Mild effects. Feels equivalent to a couple of beers but nothing more. I think Iím starting to feel the come up though, but Iím not sure.
T+0:19 Coming up really strong. I'm already extremely dissociated, and kind of second-guessing my choice of dosage.
T+0:23 Starting to realize what I'm in for. Holy shit. Intense dissociation, and already can't feel my lips whatsoever. This is MUCH more intense than any prior experience. I can feel the characteristic warmness on my face. I had to stop watching Youtube because I can't figure out what people are saying or doing.
T+0:27 feeling very malleable, can't rely on my depth perception whatsoever Everything is moving, but not in a psychedelic manner. It more so feels like my brain can't remember what information it's supposed to take in and how to process it. It's a miracle I can still type
T+0:31 I can't feel my tongue anymore. My whole face is completely numb.
T+0:51 I've spent the past 20 minutes inside the audio-waves of psytrance music exploring different worlds and galaxies. I saw familiar realms with the beats of the music bringing me back to real and unreal places. The all-encompassing nature of the psytrance music and sounds in it got me close to a hole, although not quite. I'm still typing with my eyes closed, at my desk, head too heavy to sit up straight. Feeling far away from reality with a ringing in my ears but I donít mind it. The ringing is comforted by the smoothness and warmness of the experience. I feel like thereís a force that's pulling on me. It's a warm force though. I don't know how I'm typing these words out right now.
(Note from the day after: At this point I was in my bed, laying in some weird position with my eyes closed, feeling like I was flying through space IN the music as if I was part of it. This was the first time Iíve enjoyed psytrance, it fit what I was experiencing perfectly. It was very DMT-esque, however, the visuals were not as bright and colorful, though still as complex. The body feelings were very intense as well.)
T+0:59 I feel like an alien in my own body. This is insanely interesting. I'm trying to sober up but it's hard when I'm this dissociated. I keep being surprised I'm hitting the right keys on the keyboard. I keep my eyes closed most of the time for the CEVs, as they are showing me places I've never been to. I feel as though I'm on another level of existence, and sensory overload is very present. I keep warping with the music. I'm half blacked out. I have no idea how I'm still typing.
T+1h I've never been this dissociated before. Everything is squishing and whooshing past me. I'm numb all over and my mind is taking me to places where I've never been before. I still feel like I'm teleporting, kind of, I cannot act sober at this moment. My feet feel funny and warm and cold at the same time, it's like a wave that keeps rushing over me.
T+1:13 I think I've hit the peak, and I think I'm still peaking. Still traveling these untraveled worlds from what feels like underwater. I'm completely numb but I feel good.
T+1:30 Finally feel like I'm coming down. I had to go to the bathroom while acting sober, as my mom was in the hallway, I managed to do it without arising too much suspicion, even though I can hardly walk in a straight line. I feel like Iím both shorter and taller than normal, which is very off-putting when you walk. And on top of that, it feels like gravity is not only pulling me downward but also forward when I walk. It's very weird. I'm still incredibly dissociated, but at least I'm coming back to real life. That was probably the most intense non-psychotic experience of my life. I can't wait to sleep. It's gonna be interesting to see what kind of dreams Iíll have if any.
T+1:45 I have regained relative motor control. I can now keep my eyes open and be in the real world consistently. I'm still dissociated, but I feel relief that it's almost over. Not that it was a bad experience, it was just incredibly intense. At the peak, my heart was also beating a bit too fast for comfort, not sure what the actual bpm was though.
T+2h dissoed but more functional. Feeling very sleepy.
Went to sleep at around T+3 hours, mostly sober but still feeling some residual effects on my balance, motor control, and ability to think normally.
Conclusion: Wow! For a good 30 minutes, I was in another dimension flying through the spaces in-between. I could feel the soundwaves of the psytrance, physically with my eyes closed. CEVs almost as great and all-encompassing as DMT, but with a layer of comfort and anxiolysis, Iíve only experienced with dissociatives. It seems that large ďholeĒ doses produce profoundly psychedelic experiences, which is quite exciting. For me, this was definitely a ďstrongĒ dose.
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