DOSE: T+ 0:00	8 g	oral	Nutmeg	(powder / crystals)
T+ 1:20		oral	Coffee

BODY WEIGHT:

59 kg

I got interested in nutmeg because it’s not a controlled substance, and a seeing the varying experiences people have (and a lack of other things I could get high off of), I got curious and decided to give it a try.

Personal effects:
Come up: Light sedation and euphoria, increased concentration, increased clarity of though flow, slight time dilation and short-term memory loss, eyes feel drowsy.

Peak: Psychosis, delirium, short-term and long-term memory loss, feeling of impending doom, extreme anxiety, chest pain, dry mouth, eye redness, depersonalization and derealization, completely distorted perception of time, sleeplessness, dizziness (especially when getting up abruptly), mental “psychedelic” effect (emotions influenced heavily by surroundings, thoughts, music etc.). Also, music sounded really good, it almost felt like it was a part of me. Probably the only positive thing I’m going to list here, haha.

Coming down: Brain fog, dry mouth, moderate distortion of time perception, moderate depersonalization and derealization, fever-like symptoms, dizziness (especially when getting up abruptly), mental “psychedelic” effect (a negative though would get me unusually anxious).

After-effects: Brain fog (difficulty in concentrating for an extended period of time, short-term memory loss), mild feeling of detachment from myself and my surrounding lingers.

Time report:
T+00:00: It’s currently 3 PM on a Friday, feeling a little nervous. I ingested 4 grams of powdered nutmeg with some lemonade I made. The lemon really helps neutralize the taste. Then ingested 4 grams more, to try out the taste. I didn’t find the taste to be particularly bad. Not disgusting, not terrible, but still not something I would just eat willingly.

T+01:20: Drank coffee, feeling relaxed.

T+04:15: 7 PM Right now. Feeling a little bit sleepy and my eyes are drowsy. I don’t go to sleep at this time, so I don’t think that this is just me being naturally tired. Not feeling any strong side effects, so I decided to eat another 5 grams, which emptied the whole 13 gram pack.

T+05:00: A few minutes ago, I felt only what can be described as lightheadedness. I found it funny trying to look back at myself being all so serious and on this baseline. I tried to go back to that baseline, and I felt pretty much going back to it. Everything I try to get focused on I get more focused on and gets intensified, but in a sedating kind of way, which feels induced by my drowsy eyes when I think about it (that probably sounds weird, but it's true). When eating, the texture of the food felt what I can compare as like when looking at a light from a distance. The light got closer to me, but the brightness didn’t increase. I can discern the textures of food more, a banana has a sweeter aftertaste, I feel the layers of tastes in a soup, instead of a mishmash.

T+05:30: I just played some music on my guitar and tried to think about what emotions it’s trying to convey. I keep going back to this thing. I guess this feels best described like a dream. Right now, it’s like I’m in a dream, and this part of my mind can snap me out of it.

T+5:50: Another report. You know why? I feel like a lot of time has passed by! My mouth is starting to feel dry. That’s it, yeah. Bye….

T+6:00: Time dilation getting stronger. I realize how stupid I was for doing this. “Why didn’t I take a lower dose ‘the 8 grams’ and had to take 13, or why not only take the original 4?" Slight panic, 100 BPM. Time dilation is more and more severe. Looking at clocks is important. Gonna take a shower. Mouth getting frequently dry.

T+06:20 Feeling of impending doom. This substance is now in me and I can’t do anything about it. Gonna play some videogames.

T+06:30: Restlessness, walking in circles in my room trying to calm myself. Feeling of impending doom. Extreme anxiety, pain in my chest.

T+6:40: Calming myself, listening to some relaxation music. This is where I was getting closer to the peak and stopped typing my report and went to bed. My memory is a little muffled.

Friday night: I don’t exactly remember how I got into this state, but I entered a state of psychosis and delirium. I couldn’t identify if this is reality or not. Therefore, I didn’t know if I was alive. Because my short-term memory was practically non-existent, I had to remind myself who I am and that this is reality frequently. I kept opening my eyes every now and then to remind myself I was alive. My heart felt like it was racing, even though I had 55 BPM at times and if I wasn’t breathing manually, I felt like I wasn’t breathing at all. My perception of time was completely distorted. Three minutes felt like twenty, only to feel like a short amount of time in retrospect. My mind was racing, yet I don’t remember being able to produce any coherent thoughts. I got huge anxiety just by a thought or emotion. But the real enemy is the length of the experience.

Gradually, I moved up between these “levels of realization” and remembered that I took a drug, I actually remember bringing the nutmeg powder bag next to me, to remind myself that I’m on this drug, and I concluded that I exist, because I’m conscious. I was able to finally let go. I focused only on my breathing, trying not to latch onto any emotions or thoughts, believing it was going to be over.

I chatted with someone on tripsit.me, he recommended Weightless by Marco Union. Listening to calm music was crucial in this state. Now, I just needed to survive. I wasn't feeling sleepy at all, until finally on Monday by the way, sleep was irrelevant relative to what was going on. I finally fell asleep at 7 AM.

Saturday: Next day wasn’t much better. My vision got blurry after getting up. I ate lunch, said that I’m feeling sick and went straight to bed. My eyes were red, and my mouth was dry, so I drank water frequently. Feeling like I have a high fever. I was still feeling many of the effects like last night, just less so. Time dilation was still very intense, this wasn't going to be very short. I feared that I might be like this forever, but that just instantly fueled me with anxiety even though I knew it wasn't true, so I just did mindfulness meditation while listening to Weightless and had to believe it was going to be over. Interestingly, even the posture that I was laying in bed influenced how I was feeling.

I kept zoning out of reality. I felt like I was in a dream and I felt like I was watching myself from third person. I still had all my senses and emotions; I just didn’t attribute them to myself. Surprisingly, I managed to fall asleep fairly soon that day.

Sunday: Eyes are no longer red, but mouth is dry and my jaw felt stiff during the night. Still feeling impaired, still unable to function properly in society. Fell asleep really late that day, my body felt like I was sleeping, while my mind wasn’t.

Monday: Oh no, it’s Monday and I must actually do something today. While looking at the monitor, I frequently zoned out. I was doing much better, just with big brain fog. I still felt like I’m an observant to my experiences and to the outside world in general, I laid in my bed when I could and tried to sleep through it, as I've done in my previous days.

Fast forward to Thursday: Doing much better, almost going back to normal, but I’m still a little impaired. My brain fog is a lot less significant and gets better as the day goes on. And I still feel this lighheadedness an this mild feeling of detachment from myself and the outside world lingers too. Really hope I'm back to normal soon. I'm considering using some health supplements.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115289
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 9, 2023	Views: 821
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