DOSE:

0.25 g

smoked

Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

100 kg

It has been two weeks since the last time I smoked. I packed a more giant bowl than usual to get as high as possible. After the first draw, I started coughing my lungs out. I proceeded to take two more draws, after which I went back inside.

As soon as I entered my room, I knew I would be very high; I started hearing patterns of sound inside my head, which is an indication that I will have a very high trip.

I turned off the lights, as I usually do, and laid on my bed. Then started the exciting parts: my field of consciousness had a patterned, semi-transparent layer of images. These patterns look similar to those on bed-sheets or bus seats, but with color and different shapes. The shapes inside the pattern would change, transitioning and morphing into other shapes. Along with these visual patterns, the patterns of sound in my head became more pronounced. These visual and auditory patterns often went hand in hand and gave the impression of connectedness; there appeared to be an underlying connection between the visuals and sounds -- a connection that I was unable to discern.

These patterned sounds have a rather peculiar expression. They appear to be series of finite sounds. These sounds are ones that I hear or have heard in my daily life. Here is an example of a particular pattern I seem to remember: flushing sound, the clinking of utensils, woosh sound of a fast-moving object, incomprehensible voices, etc. These individual sounds would play in succession. I would hear the same pattern of succession multiple times while engaging with a particular thought.

The thoughts & feelings I was having appeared to also be connected with these auditory and visual patterns. For example, certain emotions would produce particular sound patterns. I even began tasting different tastes, once more giving the impression of connectedness to the above thoughts. I distinctly remember tasting what seemed like butter, which morphed into a distinct, unpleasant taste as my line of thought progressed.

I remember becoming lost in thought, usually about something that felt rather important. I would close my eyes to process it. However, whenever I opened my eyes, I would flinch as if encountering an unexpected reality or field of consciousness; I would see the patterned visuals and notice my alternate thinking patterns.

I felt an underlying layer of discomfort related to how off the rails I was. There was not a lot synonymous with my sober state of mind, which scared me.

The sound patterns became louder, the visuals clearer. It felt like these connected patterns were the brain's low-level language. And separation of body and mind, wherein my mind observed the storage system of my thoughts/memories by my body (i.e., the brain). This low-level language was incomprehensible by itself; the brain had yet to package/compile it in a form comprehensible to the mind.

I remember thinking much about societal hierarchies and structures, topics I am innately inclined towards when high. I remember feeling quite uncomfortable when it felt like I found a hidden insight into these topics. I felt my current state of consciousness was going to reveal a new secret of these hierarchies. Still, I felt a lot of resistance from within to abandon such pursuit and stay in the comfort of certainty or ignorance.

I also remember feeling that my current state of consciousness takes me to my body's tiny cells (related to the low-level language above). I was observing the language used by such cells. I felt that all cells in my body contained the same information on my thoughts & memories as an individual.

Finally, whenever I am high, I feel like I am in an internal party with other parts of me. I noticed the same feeling this time around. This was very interesting because it felt like there isn't a singular me but multiple personalities, perspectives, and ideas. These "me" compete for real estate in my field of consciousness.

I hope the above is not incoherent ramblings. I am not sure if these are accurate takes on the mind/body or simply an abstraction by my mind. However, they do feel like the most original thoughts I have had in a while.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115376
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Apr 28, 2021	Views: 443
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