2-Fluoromethamphetamine, Amphetamines, Coffee, Kratom, Methylphenidate, 3-Fluoroamphetamine & LSD
Citation: Anatoli Smorin. "Anything Goes – Dealer’s Choice, and I’m the Dealer: An Experience with 2-Fluoromethamphetamine, Amphetamines, Coffee, Kratom, Methylphenidate, 3-Fluoroamphetamine & LSD (exp115538)". Erowid.org. Aug 5, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115538
Anything Goes – Dealer’s Choice, and I’m the Dealer
This report is part of an eight-report collection. The collection consists of a summary report
that is retrospective and generalized in nature as well as seven [of which this is one] more detailed chronicles of my experiences with various chemicals used intentionally for work or study enhancement. Each report documents a single substance used for thirty days. The idea was to give each material a chance to show its strengths and weaknesses. The summary report has shorter descriptions and comparisons of my experiences with each material, as well as links to the other full-length experience reports for each substance.
This final entry to the collection summarizes a month of substance use aimed at enhancing my performance, primarily in the context of work, just as with the rest of this assemblage of writings. This month was unique in that I wasn’t following a predetermined schedule of dosing. I wasn’t even confined to a single substance. This month was a free-for-all. I chose the dosage and substance(s) each day as I saw fit. As such, this report includes but is not limited to the substances detailed in my full series of performance-enhancing reports, it also included some random selections; old favorites, wildcards and combinations.
I consider myself to be well versed in the realm of substance use. Previous experiences include opiates, stimulants and psychedelics spanning over more than a decade. A fair amount of my substance usage history includes novel research chemicals often in less than common combinations.
I have spent at least a month taking and documenting in detail many of the substances included in this report as they were stand-alone portions in the series of experience reports this entry belongs to. Others substances outside of this specific set were things I was familiar with from previous experience; no first times here.
This report was written using extensive notes as well as audio recordings taken during the experiences.
Besides cannabis and alcohol I did not have any tolerance to any of the substances included below. A few light hits from an oil vaporizer every other day and 3-5 drinks daily summarize my habitual use of cannabis and alcohol.
Given the nature of this report, with numerous compounds and combinations, the same structure I used for the rest of the series was not a perfect fit. Rather than focus on a single substance’s “best”, “worst”, “mood effects”, “physical effects”, etc., as I did in the other reports, I’m using these same sections to discuss some highlights, lowlights, and themes I experienced across the month, but not necessarily focussing or discussing the details of every single day for every single substance.
- LSD: The LSD used in my experimenting was sourced from a respectable vendor and the same batch from which I had previously used in small, medium, and large dosages. I trusted the 255 micrograms per tab they were advertised as containing. To enable accurate volumetric dosing, I dropped one blotter into 35 ml of agave-based ethanol [40% ABV]. This was stirred and shaken every thirty minutes for the first five hours, then left overnight until the next morning when the same agitation schedule was resumed for the two hours before I called the preparation of the solution complete. The result was 7.3 ug/ml of LSD. All of the volumetric dosing was performed with clean new syringes.
- Kratom: The Kratom was sourced from a reputable vendor from which I have purchased and used various products before. I used a variety of strains, but all were an enhanced leaf type product. The dosages were prepared at 750 milligram per 00 capsule.
- 4F-MPH: The 4F-MPH was a fine powder material and each dosage was prepared on a freshly calibrated milligram (.000 gram) scale. The chemical was sourced through a highly vetted chemist and this batch tested at a > 98% purity. An NMR analysis was completed and analyzed by a third party chemist to verify the chemical was as advertised. If taken orally, the powder was placed into a capsule before swallowing.
- 2-FMA: The 2-FMA was a fluffy and clumpy white powder of which the dosages were prepared on a freshly calibrated milligram (.000 gram) scale. The chemical was sourced through a highly vetted chemist and this batch tested at a > 98% purity. An NMR analysis was completed and analyzed by a third party chemist to verify the chemical was indeed 2-FMA. When I prepared dosages for oral administration, I used 00 capsules.
- Coffee: All of the coffee ingested in this report was from the same batch of medium roast. The coffee beans were ground fresh every day before preparation using a glass-pour over style coffeemaker. I wasn’t specific in measuring the exact temperature of the water used each day. I did however weigh my beans each day and kept the following measurements consistent throughout the month:
- 10.5 grams per mug of 300 milliliters of liquid
- Between .5 – 2.0 tablespoons of sugar per mug
- Between 25 – 75 milliliters of whole milk per mug
- Amphetamines: Adderall, dextroamphetamine, and lisdexamfetamine; all of these substances were sourced through a legitimate pharmacy.
The Adderalls were thirty milligram pills that were round and orange with “AD” stamped on one side and “30” stamped into the other. There had a full break mark between the “3” and the “0” and then smaller quarter break marks perpendicular to the main break line. For any smaller or uneven dosages, I used a pill cutter to divide these up.
The dextroamphetamines were ten milligram pills that were round, orange, and featured a stamp of “U39” on one side. The other side of the pill had a break mark that would dissect the lettering on the lettered side, top from bottom. For any smaller or uneven dosages, I used a pill cutter to divide these up.
The lisdexamfetamines were thirty milligram capsules with the female side of the capsule being orange and the male counterpart being white. The orange side featured black text that read “S489”. Directly across from this on the white portion of the capsule was black text which read “30 mg”.
- 3-Fluoroamphetamine: The 3-FA was a pure white powder that was more clumpy and flour-like than it was granular. The dosages were prepared on a freshly calibrated milligram (.000 gram) scale. The chemical was sourced through a highly vetted chemist and this batch tested at a > 98% purity. An NMR analysis was completed and analyzed by a third party chemist to verify the chemical was indeed 3-FA. When I prepared dosages for oral administration, I used 00 capsules.
- Methylphenidate: The five milligram pills were a bright yellow color, with one side imprinted with “MD” and the other with “531”. The pills were circular and had no break marks.
Study Dosage Timeline
My ingestion schedule was as follows:
Day 1/30: T + 00:00 2-FMA:16 mg oral
T + 01:37 dextroamphetamine: 10 mg insufflated
Day 2/30: T + 00:00 Coffee: 1 mug
T + 00:35 Adderall: 5 mg oral
T + 04:00 Adderall: 5 mg insufflated
Day 3/30: T + 00:00 LSD: 8 ug oral
Day 4/30: Off Day
Day 5/30: T + 00:00 lisdexamfetamine: 30 mg oral
Day 6/30: T + 00:00 lisdexamfetamine: 30 mg oral
T + 04:02 2-FMA: 14 mg insufflated
Day 7/30: T + 00:00 kratom [Green Vein Borneo]: 4 grams oral
T + 00:34 2-FMA: 5 mg oral
T + 00:36 dextroamphetamine: 5 mg oral
T + 07:31 kratom [Green Vein Borneo]: 4 grams oral
Day 8/30: T + 00:00 LSD: 15 ug oral
T + 00:45 Adderall: 10 mg insufflated
T + 10:15 Kratom [Red Vein Borneo]: 3 grams oral
T + 11:35 kratom [Red Vein Borneo]: 2.5 grams oral
Day 9/30: T + 00:00 lisdexamfetamine: 60 mg oral
Day 10/30: T + 00:00 lisdexamfetamine: 30 m oral
T + 02:18 2-FMA 5 mg insufflated
T + 02:40 2-FMA 5 mg insufflated
Day 11/30: Off Day
Day 12/30: Off Day
Day 13/30: T + 00:00 4F-MPH: 20 mg insufflated
T + 01:15 2-FMA: 15 mg insufflated
Day 14/30: T + 00:00 LSD: 9.5 ug oral
T + 00:00 lisdexamfetamine: 60 mg oral
Day 15/30: Off Day
Day 16/30: T + 00:00 2-FMA: 21 mg oral
Day 17/30: Off Day
Day 18/30: Off Day
Day 19/30: T + 00:00 Adderall: 7.5 mg oral
Day 20/30: T + 00:00 dextroamphetamine: 10 mg oral
T + 00:20 2-FMA: 8 mg insufflated
Day 21/30: T + 00:00 methylphenidate: 10 mg oral
Day 22/30: T + 00:00 Coffee: 1.5 mugs
T + 01:15 Coffee: 1 mug
Day 23/30: Off Day
Day 24/30: T + 00:00 Coffee: 1 mug
T + 00:39 2-FMA: 18 mg oral
Day 25/30: Off Day
Day 26/30: T + 00:00 2-FMA: 10 mg oral
T + 00:00 dextroamphetamine: 5 mg oral
T + 00:01 dextroamphetamine: 5 mg insufflated
Day 27/30: T + 00:00 2-FMA: 16 mg oral
T + 04:25 3-FA: 20 mg insufflated
T + 07:36 3-FA: 29 mg insufflated
T + 08:22 3-FA: 48 mg insufflated
Day 28/30: Off Day
Day 29/30: Off Day
Day 30/30: T + 00:00 3-FA 14 mg insufflated
T + 03:01 3-FA 18 mg insufflated
Expectations | Hopes | Concerns Going In
Having given myself complete liberty to do whatever substances, in whatever dosages I wanted, to enhance my performance at work; I expected this to be a fucking good month. I hoped I would be able to pick and choose substances and dosages that fit my tasks for the day. During each of the proceeding month-long experimentations with a single substance my most common complaint was that my day-to-day experience at work was more dynamic than the substances. By this I mean that there were plenty of occasions where I wished I could have taken an amphetamine, but didn’t because it was LSD month, or vice versa
there were plenty of occasions where I wished I could have taken an amphetamine, but didn’t because it was LSD month, or vice versa
. Being in complete control to tailor fit my needs and mood with whatever combination of substances I thought would produce the best results and be the most enjoyable was an exciting prospect as I began this month. This all being said, I had concerns of overdoing dosages and combinations and finding myself geeked out in a meeting or unplanned presentation. It had been a long time since I had taken some of these substances and I was admittedly a bit nervous about getting my dosages dialed in to produce the desired effects each day. There are a lot of substances I take less of now, in terms of dosage, than I used to, generally speaking. So I had the other side of the coin to worry about as well; I didn’t want to waste half the month being underwhelmed. Finding each substance’s balance in solo and in combo was something I hoped to achieve quickly. I also knew I’d have cross tolerances to take into consideration, making the perfect dosage an interesting, ever-moving target.
Obviously the flexibility of selecting a performance enhancing substance was a nice change from the past year during which I was working on the rest of this report series where I was sticking with one drug for the entirety of the month. Also, because this was the grande finale of the project, I was always a little extra excited to tinker with combinations and push the limits in terms of dosages in the work setting. One result of slightly aggressive dosages, was realizing that I’ve been a little nervous and cautious with some of my stimulant doses lately.
There was one day where I took relatively high amount of lisdexamfetamine and mid-day decided to take things up a notch. I had finished all the day’s deliverables and only had a few hours of the workday remaining. I was high, feeling as though nothing could go wrong, with a body that felt efficient and strong. About thirty minutes after adding dextroamphetamine to the mix, I realized I was fucked up; I was high, not feeling very well, and wondering why I chose to do this? I felt good before, why ruin that? I decided to add a very small amount of etizolam [.5mg oral] and let this settle in while I took a short walk outside. By the time I was home, I felt back at 100% and had a euphoric and productive evening.
This is an excellent example of using a variety of tools to course-correct an experience that is starting to head off the rails. It was enlightening to leverage my mind, my environment, and a substance, all in unison, to bring the experience back to a positive place. Too often these days I douse an unpleasant or too intense experience with hefty benzos. Sure, there is a time and a place for this, I’m not the intrepid explorer I once was in some ways, but this was a lovely reminder that there are many methods for dealing with a challenging experience including exercise, a change in setting, fresh air, and additional helper substances.
In terms of pure, absolute, “favorite” parts of the month, I really enjoyed layering 2-FMA and dextroamphetamine in small dosages in combination with each other. Doses around five insufflated milligrams per substance taken every few hours, gave me me a playful back and forth during which I sometimes felt my drive and motivation to work beginning to wane, and then I was gifted with euphoric stimulant energy roaring back, allowing me to crank through chores at the house or little bursts of writing that served as a break from the non-stop financial related work content. This combo was just friendly, it did what I love most about amphetamines; make being productive enjoyable and fun, resulting in more desire to do work, and thus more fun being had! Tickling euphoria while accomplishing things that must get done and feeling extra good about doing them? Yes please.
Least Favorite Aspects
Any parts of this month that were disappointing were a direct result of substance administration choices for which I was the responsible party. With my new-found, slightly aggressive, dosing attitude, I’d have expected more issues to highlight in this section. Looking at each day as a stand-alone experience, I had essentially no instances of complete discomfort or challenges. Almost every substance, excluding kratom, that I ingested during this month, catalyzed bowel movements shortly after ingestion [T + 00:00 – T +01:00]. Given my entirely work from home situation, this wasn’t ever much more than an inconvenience; I tried to scheduling meetings whenever possible to fit this predictable, but required, bio-break. I actually think that the variety helped reduce anxiety about altering my state so regularly. It naturally felt more comfortable to be selecting my substances in a tailored fashion; designed on the spot to fit my schedule, mood, and needs.
Neutral Aspects | Additional Commentary
Taking a variety of substances, despite being desired, well thought out, and premeditated, still took a physical and mental toll on me. Until the dose of the day kicked in, I was often tired in the mornings. Physically, I’d trudge around the house, requiring extra effort to swing my legs over the side of the bed each morning. Standing upright and maneuvering from room to room for my morning chores and routine often felt exhausting. Emotionally I felt blank. After managing to get to my feet and into a shower, I would slowly begin to come to life. I began to make emails my first task most days. Well, second task if you count weighing out my daily dose. Emotionally, the dullness wore off quickly, even before the day’s substances fully kicked in. Feeling dumpy most mornings was not terribly enjoyable, but it never discouraged me from skipping a dosing day.
I generally am not a big breakfast eater. A sober morning usually involves a banana and a few glasses of water. During this specific month, I kept with this routine, wanting hydration to begin as soon as possible, and I liked having a little something in my stomach, especially for any oral dosages. Lunch often became delayed until it became dinner. Most of the substances I ingested suppressed my appetite significantly enough to make a mid-day meal seem unnecessary. On days where I re-dosed mid-day or took larger than average dosages, I didn’t even bother with a snack, only consuming water throughout the workday. By evening, things went one of two ways. Scenario number one played out with me becoming ravenous at the first taste of food. On several occasions I had finished my second serving before my partner Kai had finished her first. The second scenario was that I mustered up a peckish appetite at best, and choked down half a serving just because I knew I needed the sustenance.
- Starting weight: 199 pounds
- Ending weight: 194 pounds * not related
- Heart Rate Notes: I paid a lot of attention to my heart rate and breathing patterns during this month of ‘anything goes’. Throughout the variety of substances and dosages, I never experienced any cardiac concerns. The most intense effects were, as expected, on higher dosages, particularly on days when I was mixing substances. I didn’t limit my daily exercise routine, which is fairly minimal already, and at most I saw my peak heart rates increase roughly 20% on average during cardio activities. I never documented any irregular heart beat patterns or felt that the pace was cause for concern. My resting heart rate averaged an increase of 5-10 beats per minute when compared to a sober state.
- Sexual Effects: The stimulants increased my libido as a general rule. The higher the dosage, regardless of substance, the more intense this was. At low dosages, dextroamphetamine and 2-FMA were more sexual than the other substances. Performance and tactile sensitivity were enhanced in a similar fashion; higher dosages resulted in more sensitivity and enjoyment from intimate activities.
- Sleep Effects: The lisdexamfetamine was the worst offender when it came to a single morning dosage giving me issues with attempting to sleep that night.
The lisdexamfetamine was the worst offender when it came to a single morning dosage giving me issues with attempting to sleep that night.
The fluctuating pulsating energy of this chemical pinged me every hour or so with a fresh zing of effects. This was brilliant most days, but when they continued, and continued, and continued into the evening, they could become problematic. Other stimulants offered more temptation for re-dosing, which if acted upon, naturally didn’t encourage me to be asleep by a normal hour. Dextroamphetamine was my number one culprit for this creeping desire to take a second or third dose. I attribute this to the prominent beautiful physical feelings I often encountered on the drug. It felt very recreational, with a strong mental and physical components that nearly always felt good. To remain in a strictly performance-enhancing realm with dextroamphetamine, I had to dose pretty small. Usually five, or perhaps ten milligrams orally. Above this and I’d most certainly be feeling divine, in control, but in an increased state of intoxication. In the end, if I made specific choices, I could avoid issues with all of this months substance use interfering with my sleep. I didn’t always make those choices, but the option was there if I needed or wanted it.
- Creativity: Given that a lot of this month focused on stimulants, I never felt like I was being gifted with different viewpoints or innovative mental capabilities. The pure stimulants had benefits in other areas of mental enhancement. Almost by default, LSD would clearly be the substance that rated highest in terms of enhanced creativity. While I welcomed this, and selected LSD for this specific reason during my free-for-all month, I only did so when I was very comfortable with my work schedule in order to make mini-dosing worth the risk of facing the potential downsides to this substance. The increased creativity was fluid and natural feeling, I’d be working through a technical mathematics and computer-based challenge, and suddenly have forward vision that allowed me to see errors or inefficiencies in my solutions sooner than normal. The result was more efficient paths to solutions, not having to complete an attempt before I realized its drawbacks. When this type of thought process was happening, I didn’t typically realize it until I had completed the task and upon reflection realized how smooth the flow of ideas has been.
- Focus: Each substance taken during this particular month offered enhanced focus of some kind. The majority held major similarities at a high level: a faster paced mind, motivation to charge at tasks with a positive attitude and unusual amount of interest, and an ability to put the axe to the grindstone for longer periods of time than I could sober.
Subtleties and unique flavors existed between the stimulating materials. I’ll try and give brief commentary on these nuances now:
I. Dextroamphetamine: Pure, raw, and reliable. If I’d never taken an amphetamine or stimulant before, this is probably what I would expect the experience to be like. An onset marked by a light physical rushing and a twinkling blissful mood, the combination of which would manifest as a wide grin on my face. Pulsing euphoria in my limbs and abdomen, accompanied by a outgoing cheeriness, allowed me to talk empathetically to coworkers. In several instances I was able to make a stressed out colleague laugh, brightening their day. Doing this made me feel kind, authentic, and clever. I had confidence and it felt earned. Beyond the occasional cheering up of fellow teammates, was the focus. A razor sharp concentration that wouldn’t quit. I could read, comprehend, and retain massive amounts of text and information. This ability was not only exceptionally useful, boosting my productivity significantly, but I also ate up whatever I was working on. Work became fun
; not hitting a mid-day lull of energy, losing a morning’s motivation, and being faster while thinking, all made for enjoyable productive days.
This substance sometimes felt too recreational, but I also never gave my body the chance to learn how to properly dance with it as I did some other substances that got full month-long dosage schedules. I wanted to include it in this final ‘anything-goes’ month because it has historically been one of my favorite stimulants that did have the ability to let me crank through long writing or study assignments, and then seamlessly transition into a party evening. This was more commonly done and appreciated when I was younger than at the time of this writing. As the mullet is to haircuts, dextroamphetamine is to stimulants; business on one side and party on the other. Yes this substance had the ability to make me focus and stay on task all day long, but it could do so while giving me a nice little mental and physical buzz. If I wanted to turn things up a notch, I didn’t have to switch substances necessarily, I could just up my dosage and carry on.
II. 2-FMA: The focal ability provided by this substance was my favorite. Maybe not the most immersive and intense, maybe not the longest lasting, but, it was controllable and malleable. I could start small and then adjust according to my schedule, set, and setting using calculated routes of administration and dosages. This quickly earned the nickname of the ‘wonder-drug” between my partner Kai and me. When shit had to get done, a variety of shit; physical tasks, mental tasks, projects that had been procrastinated on - this was the substance to take. Somehow I always achieved my goals, didn’t feel overly concentrated or uncomfortable, and managed to get a few things done off the next day's “to-do” list in addition to completing the present day’s tasks. All of this was done in a good mood, enjoying every bit of everything.
III. Amphetamines (Adderall): The descriptive words here were ‘hot’ and ‘heavy’. Sometimes my mind’s focus wandered away from the task at hand and I’d look up to find myself deep in a rabbit hole completely unrelated to what I was originally working on. While it lacked precision, this substance had an unbelievable ability to make me interested in whatever
I was concentrating on. Unfortunately with this great power came the chance that I turned on the focus superpower to something besides work or things I needed to get done. I’d dominate whatever I was sidetracked on, but this caused issues at work at least one day where I got almost no work done, resulting in extra stress through the subsequent days as I has to make up for the lost time. In the end, I found the Adderall to be hit or miss – I smashed my work tasks in grand fashion while in an excellent mood, crossing the finish line at the end of a work day feeling like a king. Or annoyed from feeling clammy and cold all day, behind schedule from letting the Adderall’s focus drift off track, hungry, and disappointed with the results of attempting to enhance my work performance.
IV. Lisdexamfetamine: This substance generally made me feel the least “speedy” of all the other stimulants. It felt sparkly and friendly, like the mood I get automatically on the first warm sunny days of spring after a long cold winter.
Lisdexamfetamine: This substance generally made me feel the least “speedy” of all the other stimulants. It felt sparkly and friendly, like the mood I get automatically on the first warm sunny days of spring after a long cold winter.
Energy levels and my ability to focus were absolutely extended. This substance had the longest duration by milligram of any of the stimulants I took during this month. The focus felt different than the others, more like a good book that kept drawing me in for one more page, one more chapter. The focus felt delicate at first, but clearly had power and depth to it. A comparison from one day’s notes described dextroamphetamine and Adderall as a pumping techno song that forced my body to stomp and dance along, while in contrast, lisdexamfetamine was a delicate symphony that seduced me onto the dance floor. Despite feeling elective and softer than some other substances, lisdexamfetamine certainly had plenty of firepower.
V. Methylphenidate: The tofu of the group. Not in a necessarily good or bad way; sometimes light and malleable was good, sometimes it lacked the punch I desired. This material provided significant focus enhancement with less risk of overstimulation, paranoia, or general discomfort. This was a great substance for a small but effective increase in productivity. If dosages were increased, it had the ability to deliver wide-eyes, sweaty body, and a racing mind. I found if I pushed to this level that I was likely to become distracted and use the extra energy on whatever random idea, topics, or project popped into my head. To maintain the amount of control I preferred, smaller amounts of the substance were required. I could lock into tasks much more easily than if I was sober and could keep my concentration fixed with ease.
VI. 4F-MPH: This substance didn’t offer significant enhancement when it came to my ability to focus. There was neither an acute improvement nor a serious elongation to the amount of time that I could keep my mind on a single idea or topic. The only thing remotely akin to an upgrade in this mental capacity was the 4F-MPH making me alert or awake for extended periods of time. From morning grogginess to evening lackadaisicalness; this substance had the ability to abolish feelings of tiredness. Lack of sleep can negatively impact my ability to mentally perform but this substance could allow me to feel awake and clear-headed despite too few hours of shut-eye.
- Social Effects: All of the stimulants made me want to converse more than when I’m sober. To my partner Kai, to friends online, to anyone! A presentation of this that I like to track as a comparing measure between substances is how much I felt a potential to gush and share information I wouldn’t have sober. Dosage, among other factors, played a roll in the following commentary, but even at lower amounts, some substances certainly exhibited this trait more naturally than others. The list below begins with the substances that made me the most naturally loose-lipped substances, down to the ones I felt most controllable in this regard.
I. Dextroamphetamine: I’d talk to anyone, store clerk, stranger on the sidewalk, best friend, etc., especially at the peak of the experience; I got chatty!
II. Amphetamines (Adderall): I became more focussed on intimate topics with friends I already knew well, but on higher dosages, I would open up and reach out to fringe friends and strangers.
. 2-FMA: Typically the conversation was fast, smooth, and of good quality, usually limited to my inner circle of friends. If they were unavailable, I was able to ignore the social impulse to connect with others, and wouldn’t feel that I was depriving myself of a part of the experience.
IV. Lisdexamfetamine: I'd switch from introspective moods where I was just internally conversing with myself, back out to an increased desire to speak to anyone around. This felt more like being in an excellent mood and the upbeat-ness caused me to feel talkative, rather than obviously being a reaction to having eaten a chemical. The focus offered by lisdexamfetamine was powerful, especially at higher dosages, but I often enjoyed taking smaller amounts, which resulted in this positive mood along with the ability to stay attentive and energized for a full day. This substance was a great one to begin the day with and have the option of upgrading the intensity by adding a short-duration drug in combination with it.
V. Methylphenidate: This fell in the middle of the substances described above. Compared to a completely sober version of myself, I would probably dart my eyes around a store a bit faster, finding eyes of strangers to meet and initiating a friendly greeting or quick interaction. I wouldn’t, especially on low or medium dosages, describe my desire for social interaction as incredibly strong. It didn't get to a craving level where I’d reach out to people I wasn’t familiar with about topics that I shouldn’t discuss outside my close circle of friends.
VI. 4F-MPH: Being the stimulant that I found the most bland overall, 4F-MPH didn’t really do much for me beyond offering extra energy. I felt little to no extra desire to spark up a conversation with a co-worker or even with Kai, who often works at the desk directly beside me.
VII. LSD: This was the substance I usually chose for days when I wasn’t
interacting with people at work. Although I didn’t ever have a negative experience from mini-dosing LSD, my biggest fear was embarrassing myself while suffering from psychedelic confusion or poor memory recall. There was potential for increased emotional openness, during which social interactions could be enhanced by a sense that I was doing a better job listening and relating to whomever I was speaking with. These occurrences seemed infrequent and random. Typically they were not work-related conversations, but rather with friends through text or with Kai in person.
Please note that this order could change drastically depending on the dosage I took, the mental state I was in, and the setting for the day. Given my extensive experience with these substances I feel this list is accurate, as much as such a subjective ‘average day’ type ranking could be.
I. Dextroamphetamine: This was, on average, the most euphoric of all the substances this month. Feeling good physically translated into feeling good mentally. I had to be careful to not get compulsive with this material. If I didn’t exercise reasonable control, I could find myself ignoring work, turning to passion projects instead, or feeling uncomfortably stimulated, which even in a Zoom meeting, could easily become very unpleasant if I had to actively participate. When kept in a dosage range that avoided feeling overwhelmed, dextroamphetamine usually kept a big smile on my face. I was more empathetic, upbeat, and just generally happier to be alive than on a sober day or a day spent on one of the other substances. I didn’t feel that the drug amplified my existing emotions or mood – it had its own positivity that it forced onto me. It could turn a sour mood around and compel a feeling of happiness.
II. Amphetamines (Adderall): This substance could swing my mood in any direction. I found it more of a mood magnifier than something to catalyze a good mood. If I was really stressed out or sad, these emotions wouldn’t necessarily be erased and replaced by more positive ones. I didn’t think of this as a negative characteristic of the substance. Sometimes being sad is what I needed to be, and the Adderall would enhance the sadness, making me a little more capable of accepting and exploring my natural emotions. If my mood was entirely net neutral when the experience began, this substance would push me in a positive and cheery direction, but this typically wasn’t powerful, unless the dosage was towards the higher end of my ‘study aid’ spectrum.
III. 2-FMA: Similar to how I described Adderall above as an intensifier, I found 2-FMA to have a similar action but with a bit more positivity built into it. The mood enhancement was natural and almost hidden in the background, never feeling overtly synthetic or in my face. Work was more enjoyable on this substance; finishing tasks was extra satisfying. Productivity was rewarded with a terrific boost to my mood. As the first few items were checked of my to-do list, I became increasingly motivated to get through the next ones; the cycle began. The desire to work and the accompanying atmosphere of mental positivity that resulted as tasks were I completed, felt legitimately self generated. How natural the effects felt was really key in allowing myself to fully let go and let the relaxed mood carry me through the productivity → positivity cycle. This underlying good mood would continued to be spurred on by each accomplishment of the day, large or small. This would continue until tasks naturally dropped off as the work day ended. As this happened, I might switch to productive tasks, but regardless, I never felt dried up and haggard. The satisfaction of a day spent in a positive mood and fully completed list of to-dos, always felt “good”.
IV. Lisdexamfetamine: This shit was bright and sparkly. I never had any sort of emotional issues or challenges stemming from the ingestion of this substance. The duration, being the longest of all the substances included in this free-for-all month, was cause for concern; if things went astray, I didn’t want to be in a bad mental place for hours and hours and hours. I dosed accordingly, always staying relatively conservative. As a result of this, I didn’t tap into the full potential of the substance to crank my positivity, generosity, and overall happiness. I know this potential exists from previous high-dosage experiences, which I had thoroughly enjoyed. These were always in a non-work setting however, and so despite lisdexamfetamine being capable of powerful temperamental improvements, I didn’t take full advantage of this given my setting and goals for using the substance this month, which were primarily aimed at enhancing my productivity at work. Even with my doses staying somewhat low, the sunny disposition of the chemical was noted every time I took it.
V. Methylphenidate: Being one of the my least favorite substances of the month, this didn’t really enhance my mood significantly. I often felt jittery and like the energy and effects of this material weren’t “clean”; they seemingly didn’t interact with my body well. Feeling uncomfortable and like I was waiting for the experience to end would lead to me to say methylphenidate pushed me into crabby moods with a shorter temper than normal. This was more a reaction to the uncomfortable or displeasing other effects though, rather than the substance itself making me irritable. I was irritated by the other
effects of the substance.
VI. 4F-MPH: This drug often disappointed me with its lack of efficiency in helping boost my productivity. Disappointment didn’t ever lead me to a great mood, but it also didn’t spiral into severe or negativity. Looking back, I didn’t have much to say about 4F-MPH having a specific or consistent manner in which it affected my mood. I was able to experience a full spectrum of emotions while on this substance, never feeling blocked, restricted, or guided in any particular direction.
VII. LSD: LSD didn’t have a very strong effect on my mood compared to the other substances. I was also dosing this significantly lower, in terms of possible intensity, than any of the others. I was nowhere near a full-fledged LSD experience, obviously that wouldn’t have fallen in line with my intentions of improving my working abilities. With the stimulants though, I could pretty much give them full-blown dosages given that many of them are commonly used or were even designed for this purpose. Overall, I felt some extra positivity on my LSD days, and I absolutely felt it was easier to take a step back, relax, and not get upset with myself. A calmer, less hectic mind was the typical result of these momentary pauses. On one of my LSD days, I got some unexpected bad news from the vet about my dog Doc’s health. I’ve typically found that in higher doses LSD will take my emotions and multiply them. With these mini-doses however, I seem less susceptible to this type of effect. Once again, the pausing and reflecting was a useful tool in controlling my emotions and mood. In this example, the deep breath moment allowed me to react to the news with a holistic view. In the end, I actually felt appreciation for Doc and my relationship with him. The sadness didn’t disappear, but my mood wasn’t derailed like it might have been on a few hundred micrograms.
Once again; a lot of similarities between some of the substances, but for the sake of organization, digestibility, and data quality with as much brevity as possible, I’ll continue using the above formatting to address each substance used this month.
I. Dextroamphetamine: The most pleasant and the most powerful, by milligram, in the physical effects department. I remember the first time I took a recreational dose of this substance years ago I was flabbergasted at how powerful it was. I compared it to MDMA, but I didn’t have a veteran’s amphetamine flavor palate at that time. Even at the dosages I used during this month of performance enhancing, I loved the soothing movement of energy that ran through my core and limbs, almost like I could feel my blood circulating positive energy through me. The euphoric feelings helped mask the cold feet, and the annoyance of developing a light sweat, the sweat drying, me getting cold, changing clothes, and repeating the cycle, like what happened on a lot of the other substances during this month.
I. Amphetamines (Adderall): This was the substance I complained the most amount in regards to the physical effects it brought about. Beginning at low dosages, and becoming increasingly problematic were bruxism, poor circulation, and digestive disruption. A sore jaw is much less justifiable after a standard work day when compared to a day at a festival or a night of dancing. The inability to regulate my body’s temperature was annoying throughout the day. Cycles of sweating and cooling were irritating to no end. Extra trips to the bathroom and some cramp-like discomfort were not uncommon for me while taking this drug.
III. 2-FMA: I didn’t feel much from this substance in my body. It subtly hinted at the positive and negative effects I’ve described in the two substances above this, but typically never more than a hint. Of course, if dosage was pushed, these things would develop, but this substance was more mood and mind oriented for me. This was one of the reasons I really enjoyed it as a tool that allowed a large step up in mental abilities without having to deal with appetite, digestion, or even a body load. It did lack some of the “fun factor” that some of the other substances offered, but forgoing this knowing that there would be little to no physical discomfort was a trade I was happy to make.
IV. Lisdexamfetamine: This substance’s physical effects were difficult to summarize. Some effects were only documented once, others more often; the patterns and commonalities were not as easy to recognize as with some other similar chemicals. I noted the manifestation of effects in my physical body rather than the root effects themselves. I never felt anxious energy, but my fingers would suddenly be tapping incessantly. I naturally pace when speaking on the phone, but holy cow; I should enter a marathon or speed-walking event on lisdexamfetamine and a long phone call. My breath felt normal, sometimes more balanced than when sober. With soothing “ins and outs”, I often paused to recognize that my muscles and ligaments felt relaxed and loose. This is a unique characteristic that I didn’t find consistently present in other stimulants.
V. Methylphenidate: I founds a lot of common ground between Adderall and methylphenidate. Upset stomach, issues regulating my body temperature, and an underlying feeling of unrest that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. These were not offset with as many positives as Adderall however. At higher dosages, Adderall was able to offer a light glowing stimulant body high. I didn’t find this with methylphenidate although in fairness I never pushed the dosage on this substance as high during this month of experimentation.
VI. 4F-MPH: This substance didn’t have any of the common physical stimulant effects. I never complained about chilly feet or fingers. There was no instant trip to the bathroom for a bowel movement after ingesting it. While these are positives, there also was no warm euphoria or fun physical effects either. Additionally, this substance was bland across almost all effect categories, so I wasn’t getting mental performance with little physical effects, I was just getting very little in general.
VII. LSD: The physical effects of these small dosages were pretty minimal. I could feel a light swirling sensation in my brain along with tiny zips and zaps that zoomed around my scalp and down my spine, like goosebumps on sunburnt skin being kissed by a cool breeze. A light body load was present on higher doses. This would feel like a sponginess in my muscles, minuscule expanding and shrinking throughout my innards. I usually noticed these things towards the end of the come-up period and through the beginning of the peak. Once on the come-down, I felt normal from a physical perspective.
- Cannabis: This was a substance I combined in earnest with just about all the main substances of each day. Most of the stimulants reacted the same way to the addition of cannabis so I’ll address them as a group. Immediately after the vaporization of a cannabis oil product, which was almost always my chosen delivery method and substance form, I would feel a rush of effects come on. This onset was far faster than if I was sober and presented very different effects. I didn’t have any haziness, or the classic “stoned” head high. Instead, I blushed and rushed. I would lean my head back and stretch my toes out as far as they would reach underneath my desk. The euphoric rush was a fast and furious escalation to the effects of the stimulants. The initial blast lasted between thirty seconds and several minutes depending on the cannabis dosage. After this, I’d usually have about thirty minutes of increased focus, energy, physical euphoria, or positive moods; whatever I was feeling from the prominent substance of the day was amplified.
- LSD and cannabis was not something I particularly enjoyed together. I dosed the LSD in specific miniature amounts that would get me the effects I desired but kept me well below the level where I perceived a risk of tripping too hard to function at work. This was a major concern for me, given my rocky past with LSD. Cannabis has always been a big-time launch pad, a trampoline for effects of just about all psychedelics I’ve taken. Knowing this, I wasn’t ever keen to see how high the trampoline bounce was during a work day. Even if I didn’t overdo it – I was paranoid that things were going to get uncomfortable.
- Kratom and coffee had minimal synergies when combined with cannabis. The cannabis, especially in medium or large doses, would overpower the coffee. It never played together. Despite various strains, I wasn’t ever able to get any of the cannabis's energy to mesh with the mild caffeine stimulation from the bean juice. The kratom interacted a little more with the cannabis, most often when the kratom dosage was on the higher side; four or more grams in a single go or one of the instances where I continue to re-dose several grams over and over again. Smaller kratom doses were overtaken by the cannabis, leaving me with the classic effects. If I was able to detect the two working in unison, it wasn’t fantastic for a working environment where I was trying to be productive. My brain would feel empty and my body lazy. This was an enjoyable state to be in, but not well-suited for the middle of a busy work-day.
- Alcohol: Surprisingly, I didn’t enjoy alcohol with most of these substances as much as I enjoy it on its own. Just about all of the stimulants made it so that I could consume more alcohol than normal, while receiving less of the fun effects.
Surprisingly, I didn’t enjoy alcohol with most of these substances as much as I enjoy it on its own. Just about all of the stimulants made it so that I could consume more alcohol than normal, while receiving less of the fun effects.
So less effects, more financial cost, and typically a worse hangover in the morning? Not much to love there.
- Ketamine: I didn’t ever take ketamine while still heavily under the influence of one of the month’s primary substances. I’ve done so many times in the past, but I didn’t during this month because I was generally facing a work-day the next morning. Re-dosing a stimulant late at night just for the sake of commentary on the combo during this experimental month wasn’t something I found too attractive. From the slight overlap in effects I did
experience, and drawing slightly on previous experiences, I can offer a few basic comments.
The onset of the ketamine, both racemic and esketamine, was delayed. On a graph showing the intensity of effects over time, the curve was stretched in a way that could make booster dosage tricky because I might be led to believe additional dissociatives were required, due to a lower intensity of effects at a given time that I might expect a stronger experience than I was receiving. Then, the curve on the chart would swing large and steep; strong effects coming increasingly rapidly once they began. This was an easy way to wind up in an unexpected or unintentional k-hole. If the stimulation was getting close to baseline by the time the ketamine was insufflated, the extremity of the elongated come-up and quasi-unexpected intensification were significantly lessened.
I was a little more physically mobile and chatty as the ketamine came on compared to a sober experience with this same substance. This was most obvious when I reached the difficulties of turning ideas into words into sentences. I wouldn't take the natural clue and shut-up, I’d suffer through some awkward attempts before realizing it was time to turn my attention inwards, away from the outside world.
- Benzodiazepines: Benzos were critical for me during this free-for-all month. I was more aggressively dosing stimulants than I was in their individual month’s of study and often layered multiple substances on top of each other in combinations. On one occasion I hadn’t eaten or hydrated enough and was beginning to feel paranoid and physically uncomfortable as I descending from the peak of that particular day. Knowing that I had benzos available to put on their superhero cape and come to the rescue in a poorly timed or aggressive dose decision calmed me down no matter what level of stimulation I was at; it was a huge comfort. Likewise, I knew I’d always be able to sleep even if I dosed too late in the day with something that would keep me awake without my helper substances. On an even more positive note, a light benzo dosage [Ex. .25-1 milligrams of Etizolam or 85 micrograms of clonazolam] taken in the morning along with stimulants across the month; this was, the way. to. go. By the time both substances came to their peak, I would be zooming along with the sharpened focus of the stimulant but in a more controlled state of mind. Some of the hectic racing in my mind would be eased, allowing me to fully utilize the performance and mood enhancement from the stims, without some of the pesky annoyances that typically come along with them. Taking the edge off with this combination really made for a smooth riding day; I would feel the way that I dream about – a great version of myself that’s positive, friendly, and energized.
- Other Euphoric Stimulants [MDMA and 4-FA]: These combinations where usually stacked on the middle to tail-end of another stimulant. Due to its blandness, 4F-MPH was likelier to make me feel like seeking out the beating rush of a more euphoric upper. This substance was a catalyst for the decision to re-dose a combo, but was always washed over immediately by the secondary drug. I did find cross-tolerance between MDMA, which I took via insufflation, and the other daily stimulants I was taking throughout the month. I felt under-dosed by about 25% and had to boost my initial MDMA intake with a second dose. The duration of the secondary euphoric stimulants was increased due to the combinations, but I didn’t find a lot of interaction between the effects of each material.
- Oxycodone: There were a handful of consecutive days were I took oxycodone in the evenings after an early morning stimulant. I was unable to detect any interaction between the substances. The opioid was just as sedating as I’d normally expect, and I didn't experience any extra energy outside of the pain-killer’s high. As the glowing euphoria came on, the lingering alertness and stimulation from the morning ingestion was slowly and fluidly wiped away, eventually to be replaced by a standard oxycodone experience. The onset felt just slightly delayed compared to starting from a pure baseline. I expect this is because it took a bit of extra time for the relaxation to get on top of any remaining ± level stimulation.
Outcome | Summary | Takeaways
This was fun – but tiring. If it hadn’t been for the sake of this report I would’ve taken far more “off days” than I did. The beginning of the month was particularly grueling, each morning’s dose seeming less enticing than the one of the day before. Somewhere around the beginning of the second week, I began to hit my stride and become used to both the good and bad effects of the substances. Sure I might be extra tired in the morning or feeling haggard from slightly less than optimal eating habits, but I knew these feelings were fleeting and well worth the increased mental accuracy and concentration I would get to enjoy for the rest of the day once I forced back a capsule, line of powder, pill, or bit of bitter liquid.
I did find that by tailoring my substance and dose to my schedule was a much more pleasurable experience than taking the same exact thing every day, as I did during the rest of this report series. When the workload was heavy, I had the freedom to start small and then crank things up, or just go heavy right off the bat. If the day looked like I’d be attending a lot of meetings, but without a lot of hands on to-do items, I’d choose a little LSD and one of the lighter handed stimulants like lisdexamfetamine to enhance my emotional and social abilities, rather than a strong handed dose of Adderall that was better suited for a day when I wouldn’t be speaking to anyone, buried in an Excel file. Most of the time, my choices and predictions worked out pretty well. On the few occasions I wish I’d been a bit less stimmed up than I was, but I found it easier than expected to adapt and calm my mind by either talking myself down, or taking a small dose of benzos.
I do of course have the liberty to continue using any substance I see fit; but this turned out to be a little much. I found the mental wear and tear of the frequent stimulant usage to be taxing. Of course I loved having the house extra clean, work assignments done faster, and energy to do additional chores when I normally wouldn’t. Balance however, seems to come naturally to me when stimulants are involved. Especially as I get older, I seem more keenly aware of the unique type of tired my mind and body gets after extended or regular usage. It’s like a head cold is coming on, or the second morning of a two-day alcohol hangover; dreary, tired, and frail. A day or two off was usually plenty to get me rearing and ready to go again. After settling into the month, which took a few weeks, I didn’t have this tired feeling for about ten days. After that, it returned and remained until the end of the month.
In the end, this was the most productive and enjoyable month of my entire “performance enhancement at work/life” exercise. I’ll continue a dialed down version of this, most likely, for the rest of my life. I absolutely found my existing beliefs to be true, even when studied in greater durations and detail, that substance use can make a significant and positive impact on my professional and personal life. Harnessing and practicing the art of delicate and appropriate dosing seem to be key to my success in this part of life.
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