Citation: silkfunkydiva. "Powerful Stuff: An Experience with Bufo alvarius Secretion (exp115545)". Erowid.org. Sep 8, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115545
I used a reputable retreat lodge in Costa Rica. I had never read about this stuff and really went into it without any knowledge or preconceptions. In some ways I am glad. I am also relieved I used a reputable shaman as this is not the drug to do alone for several reasons.
The ceremony started early at 10am. I knew I may feel nauseous so I did not eat anything beforehand. We signed disclaimers and went into the moloka. There were about 10 of us and we all sat in a circle on mats, but the bufo was administered one person at a time in the centre. Not only was there the shaman, but 4 other helpers to add support during and after the experience. I was a little apprehensive and that must have been noted by the shaman because I was called up to go first!
I was given a piece of paper to read out aloud being my intentions to love myself, let my ego go and be at one with the medicine. I was a little scared but I looked into the shamans eyes and I felt that I really trusted him. He lit the pipe and gave it to me. I took as much back as I could but I was choking on the smoke and then the nausea set in instantly. The effects of this medicine are immediate. I vomited quite hard and for at least a minute, at the same time the hallucinations began, I saw spirals of colour and kalidascopic shapes in front of my face. I was aware of the shaman asking if I wanted more, but I declined. In hindsight I wished I had because I really didn't get that much of an experience other than passing out and not remembering much.
Fast forward to the second time. I felt I had missed out the first time, and I realised that the shaman was trying to give me more for me to have the ultimate experience and that I hadn't listened to him. It was the same shaman in a different location. I felt this time I was ready to go the whole way. However this time I had extreme anxiety and fear. I was the last person to go and I had 3 nervewracking hours in which I just wanted to run away.
When it came to my turn I was petrified and shaking, but I knew I had to let go and listen. I took back as much of the pipe as humanely possible. Amazingly this time I didn't purge. I saw the same kaleidescopic shapes whirling in front of my face and felt the arms of everyone pulling me back into the mattress. This time was completely different. My soul lifted out of my human body and I was able to float through the universe, marvelling at being with one in time and space. It was short-lived and over within 20 minutes and when I came around I was full of love and joy, amazed at what had just transpired. As the day went on it became harder to remember exactly what happened but I think that's normal. It carries on over the weeks as a feeling of happiness.
However, this medicine is not to be taken lightly. I would never take it without an experienced shaman because for 10 minutes I was completely having an out of body experience and was not conscious or aware. It would be easy to choke on vomit. I also saw other people having experiences where they stood up, yelled at the shaman and tried to walk, not being able to or aware, which is very dangerous.
I was worried that the anxiety I felt would taint my experience and give me a bad trip but that couldn't have been further from the truth.
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