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My Medicine
Citation:   wontofDA. "My Medicine: An Experience with Isopropylphenidate (exp115578)". Sep 16, 2021.

15 - 20 mg oral Isopropylphenidate (daily)
  150 mg oral Pharms - Bupropion (daily)
It's worth noting that I'm taking bupropion 150mg by prescription to treat depression. Since it is also an NDRI, I wouldn't be surprised if my doing so colors the experience somewhat, though I believe IPH is more dopaminergic, while bupropion is more noradrenergic. Regardless, there is a very noticeable difference on the days which I only take the bupropion.

I'm someone who has a lot of difficulty w/ executive function. Convincing my body to do the most simple tasks is a daily struggle. The bupropion helps but not enough and my psychiatrist insists on a thorough psych eval which won't occur for months, in order to be prescribed a stronger stimulant. Unfortunately meth had been the only available option for self medication which I could find on the streets (besides a few adderall in high school). I fear and suspect that the attempt ultimately exacerbated the issue. The function and productivity turned inevitably into binges, I was pretty suicidal when I wasn't high. I knew I needed to find something w/ less abuse potential; I was running a pretty heavy dopamine deficit.

Well, IPH is exactly that. I absolutely did have a go at abuse and it just doesn't seem possible. That's not to say that I don't worry about coming to believe that I need the stuff in order to be 'normal'. But despite my fiendish nature and w/o the least conscious attempt, it has become a tool that I only utilize as needed. I have no desire to increase my dosage (~15-20mg) nor to dose more frequently. I most often take it orally when I first wake and again 6-7 hrs later. It's not uncommon that I'll wake up feeling especially well and won't dose until the afternoon or not at all.

I've seen some reports that claim IPH provides focus but not motivation or in some cases, neither. I reckon it does deliver on focus at the very least. I have enough intrinsic motivation so it's hard for me to speak to that aspect but it lacks that amphetamine compulsion where you'll find yourself whittling away at one (often strange) thing for hours. If I have something I want or need to turn my mind to, IPH will make it a good deal easier. Not the effortlessness of attention of an NDRA, but for me, that effect comes w/ too much of a debt and the inability to turn that attention at will.

It may be just me but IPH also makes reading very enjoyable. I'm glad to be able to appreciate less immediately stimulating activities again. The same goes for its social aspect. I used to constantly zone out mid conversation and just generally sucked to converse w/. The euphoria associated w/ amphetamines had me behaving very unlike myself (from introvert to an obnoxious degree of extroversion) which was nice for a time but disconcerting. In contrast, IPH only really gives me the energy and focus to attend to what someone else is saying and to think up subjects of my own.

Physically, it is by far the most forgiving of stimulants that I've experienced. There's some small amount of jitteriness; I like to bounce my leg--but otherwise it just seems to put me at the energy level of any average person. Blood flows better than while on amphetamines but my extremities do fall asleep easier than they would sober. My sleep has become a bit odd. I get only 4-6 hrs each night over ~4 days and then I have one night of 8-10 hrs. Sleep deprivation does me good, cultivates a bit of functional mania in my case. I'm okay w/ this trend given the preceding bout of depressed hypersomnia. I don't get any soreness or muscle clenching. Teeth grinding is present but relatively minimal. Appetite is still very much present and my use has made me much less prone to binge/boredom eating.

All that's to say that I think IPH is the best functional stimulant. Can I recommend anyone to self medicate w/ scheduled drugs? No. But if one were determined to, I'd propose IPH as the closest to a medicine; even moreso, in my opinion, than many prescription stimulants.Ya'll be safe<3

Exp Year: 2021ExpID: 115578
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Sep 16, 2021Views: 889
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Isopropylphenidate (684) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Performance Enhancement (50), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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