Citation: BitBitt. "My Spontaneous Journey Inward: An Experience with 5-MeO-MiPT & 5-MAPB (exp115617)". Erowid.org. Sep 14, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115617
I am going into this experience feeling a lot of stress about college, coming out of an argument with my family yet I felt a lot better than I did before. I was tired of waiting for the right day to trip, and spontaneously chose to take this compound. I am alone in my room, ready for an adventure inward.
I weighed out 14mg 5-MeO-MiPT and put it into a gel cap. This was my very last dose of this compound remaining, Iíve used it a lot in the past but it has been about 4-5 months. I played on my Xbox while listening to music as I awaited the come up. I began to question whether I really wanted to take this dose when I was already stressed about my parents. But Iím always stressed, so no better time than tonight, right?
The initial effects came on within 40 minutes. I felt my body tense up, butterflies in my stomach and general discomfort. At the same time, an all encompassing warmth filled by mind and body. Effects kept growing stronger as I waited around in bed. Mainly I canít sit still and I am becoming more and more aware of how heavy this trip is going to be.
It is currently 12:30AM, the effects have been continually growing in intensity by the second. The visuals donít match the intense body load, but they are still very strong. I am seeing colors combine, fractals develop and move across my field of view and warping/breathing of my surroundings. The body load is the worst part, It takes immense amounts of energy to walk around. I wonder if I will get what I want out of this experience. I felt like it was missing something and I only felt more stressed about life events. Without much consideration I decided I'm not feeling the euphoria I was hoping for and went back into my stash and found 5-MAPB. As I weigh 30mg, I canít help but struggle to move at the same pace without feeling exhausted and uncomfortable. I try to encapsulate it and ingest it as quickly as possible to avoid moving for any longer.
The body load became so intense I can no longer bring myself to get out of bed. The 5-MAPB definitely began coming up as I continued playing on my Xbox. Music is becoming noticeably more enjoyable, but my head is too foggy to pay attention to the Xbox. Regret has been lingering since I dosed the moxy, I wish I could have thought more about the body load beforehand.
The intense stoning brain-fog outweighs the visuals, which have been comparable to around 2 grams of shrooms. Iím no longer capable of walking, typing, or sitting upwards. I lay back, and feel my body tension loosen up like a ragdoll. My room is painted with beautiful colors and geometry moving like it has a mind of its own. I felt like I was nodding out, yet there weren't as many closed eye visuals as I wouldíve expected considering the debilitating effects I can't escape from. The moment I allowed myself to let go of my own body, euphoria slowly flowed through my body and mind. It was almost as If I was laying alone, in my own skull. Locked in the dark depths of my self I felt intimate, with my own soul. I finally was able to accept myself for who I was. In a way which I never truly allowed myself to feel in my entire life. I accepted all the events in my life and appreciated them for what they are. I saw all the good in all the bad. Lost in my mind, the body load was no longer bothering me to the same degree. I no longer want to feel immobilized and challenge myself to get up and return to the Xbox.
Iíve become fully immersed into GTA V, having the time of my life just driving around while blasting music in my earbuds. I feel complete, and confident behind all my decisions and in my own future. The body load has significantly decreased and I feel more than comfortable walking around my room, using the bathroom, etc.
At this point, the effects have begun to come down and I experience a slow onset of mental dysphoria yet I really enjoyed the rest of my morning. I reflect on my own mental health and history of suicidal ideation. I experience vivid visions of what could have happened in the past, and what could have happened to other people. There are so many emotions filling my body as I watch the events fold out before and after that happens. I feel brief intense, almost unbearable regret and sadness, wishing I could help myself and others when they needed it the most. I drown in the genuine grief of losing myself and everything I love which I didn't understand until this moment.
This didn't last long, and I honestly think it was good for me to experience that weight and grief which I never truly allowed myself to understand beforehand. I remembered how much I really want to live life, and take in every moment I have ahead of me.
If I could go back, I definitely would have taken less 5-MeO-MiPT given the intense body load. If you do not have tolerance, high doses of Moxy usually will never be worth it.
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