Citation: Pepsican Fizzydrink. "Severing The Body From The Mind: An Experience with 3-HO-PCP (exp115671)". Erowid.org. Sep 6, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115671
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In the time since my last report regarding 3-HO-PCP, I have dabbled with it many times at generally low doses. Generally, I am familiar and comfortable with 6-8mg oral doses. These provide functional and manageable dissociation that is generally predictable and never overwhelming. However, I felt like this substance had more to offer that I had not yet experienced. My dissociative tolerance was lower than it was during my last report as I no longer had frequent access to ketamine. With low tolerance and a stash of 3-HO-PCP, arguably the strongest dissociative on the planet by weight, I was ready to have an earth-shattering experience.
Using a milligram scale, I scaled out 20mg. Note that this might be slightly over/underweight as most cheaper scales are not accurate in this low of a milligram range. This batch is a champagne colored crystal resembling MDMA in appearance. I used a razor blade to chop up the crystal into smaller pieces, and then used the flat face of the blade to crush it into powder. I repeated this process several times, alternating between chopping and crushing until I had an incredibly fine powder that was now white in appearance.
I took my snorting straw and insufflated half of the line. It went up surprisingly similar to ketamine. A bit rough, but not painful by any means. The drip hit and it was bitter but not as intense of a taste as ketamine drip.
On lower doses of 3-HO-PCP, I loved playing video games. I would get super immersed in the story and the world of a game and tend to play long focused sessions. For this larger dose, I decided to boot up Super Metroid for SNES and play that as the substance took effect. Within 5 minutes I already could feel slight numbness and discoordination. I normally know this game like the back of my hand, but I found myself fumbling with the controller as I could hardly feel the buttons. I made it about 20 minutes into the game before I realized this dose was going to be far too strong to play any sort of video game involving skill or reaction time. I shut down the game and put on some music. My album of choice: Colma by Buckethead. A comfort album that grounds me during any drug experience.
At this point approximately 35 minutes have passed since I insufflated ~10mg. Already along for the ride, I decide to finish off the line. The effects continued to get stronger, at this point I felt anesthetized and slightly worried. I even warned people in the past not to take a dose this high, I began to wonder "Was this a bad idea? Did I take too much?" as the effects continued to ramp up. I decided to lay in bed and focus on the music. After a couple minutes I was at ease, I rationalized that I had enough experience under my belt to deal with any sort of intense dissociative experience. For the next ~40 minutes I laid in bed and let myself get lost in the music. I had slight sensory hallucinations while laying in bed, at times it felt like I was laying sideways on the wall or upside down on the ceiling. These hallucinations were familiar from high dose ketamine experiences in the past, but typically a dose of ketamine this intense would have me in a trance of sorts by this point. PCP analogues seem to be too stimulating, they want to trick the mind into thinking everything is normal even when it's clearly not. I experienced very indistinct visuals. Blue-green dark colored patterns resembling jagged stones were in my closed-eye vision in front of a black backdrop. Open eye visuals consisted of sharpness enhancement and pattern recognition.
When the album ended, I got up to use the bathroom. I was hardly able to stand up. I used my chair to help my get out of bed, had to use all of the furniture in my bedroom as support to get myself to the door, and clung to the doorframe to get to the bathroom. If I did not anchor myself on something I had absolutely no balance. My bathroom felt oppressively bright and the sound of the fan was distorted. I was experiencing the "wah-wah-wah" auditory hallucinations typically associated with nitrous oxide or high doses of ketamine. As I made my way back to my room, my phone began ringing. It was my mom. I hadn't talked to her in a couple days so I felt obliged to answer. Nothing quite sobers you up like talking to your mother when you don't want her to know you're unbelievably high on a PCP analogue.
I made my way to my living room couch and had a nice conversation with my mom on the phone that lasted about 40 minutes. Auditory hallucinations made it hard to hear her at times, and it was very hard to articulate my thoughts. I would know exactly what to say, and then I was lucky to get half of those words to come out of my mouth coherently. My body and mind were holding together by a thread. A slightly higher dose might have become an entirely out-of-body experience. Thankfully I didn't sound too inebriated on my phone, I didn't have to make my mom worry about anything.
Now that I was already on my living room couch, I decided it was a great place to be. I sprawled out on the couch and closed my eyes. Music was not necessary right now, the sounds of the birds outside and my air conditioner were being distorted to the point that they were interesting in their own right. I observed a certain smell that was trapped in my nostrils. Similar to whenever I snort ketamine, there's a sort of "clean laundry" smell that I can smell for the duration of the experience along with a slightly tingly sensation in my nostrils at times. I was surprised to experience this same effect from a PCP analogue, though it makes sense as they are both arylcyclohexylamines.
It was now a little over 2 hours into the experience and I was definitely reaching the peak already. My roommates came home and I let them know that I was on quite a hefty dose of 3-HO-PCP. I was a bit anxious about the intensity of this experience, and my roommates did a great job of calming me down and relating to me without being patronizing. From their perspective, I didn't look high. I apparently looked like I had just rolled out of bed. I sat in the dining room and conversed for a while as they cooked some food in the kitchen.
Everything was bright and hazy, it felt like I was having a lucid dream. I was still fully aware that this was reality, but it felt like I was pretty close to a blackout dose. I had a fleeting "Truman Show delusion" that passed pretty quickly, my mind was so far removed from the physical world yet I was still perceiving it in great detail which made reality seem like it was not actually real. I drank some water and took a few hits from a nicotine vaporizer and felt quite relaxed.
By the 3 hour mark I could tell I was past the peak and beginning to come down. My skin was still numb. Walking was now manageable but still felt silly and awkward. I laid on my couch again and put on some more Buckethead albums on my TV. Around the 4.5 hour mark I decided to return to my room. I booted up Super Metroid again and played through the entire game in under 2 hours, a new personal best for me. I was relaxed and focused, and my reflexes and sense of touch had returned to a relatively normal state. By this point I was feeling tired, so I put on some more music. After laying down in bed, turning off the lights, and losing myself in the music I eventually drifted to sleep.
I woke up the next day, went to work, and had a relatively normal day. My state of mind was a bit off, I definitely had a slight manic afterglow but I was also dealing with multiple stressful unresolved life events unrelated to this drug experience. I cannot say with certainty whether my strange mood was from the drug or from unrelated work/life stress. PCP is a serotonergic and dopaminergic substance, and I can assume its analogues are the same. Perhaps I was experiencing something similar to a cocaine or MDMA hangover. Either way I felt better within 24 hours.
This experience was a bit intense at times. I would not call it a bad trip, but if I wasn't as experienced with dissociatives it very well could have been a bad trip. I went against my own advice as well as others' by taking a dose that was larger than what most consider to be "safe." Although my first experience with 3-HO-PCP was a 15mg dose, that dose was orally taken in 1-3mg increments over the course of 6 hours. This time was 20mg insufflated over the course of 30-40 minutes.
I noticed that insufflated doses definitely hit harder, come up faster, peak earlier, and have a shorter overall duration. While I could not recommend this dose to somebody else in good faith, I had a strange but pleasant experience. There's a very fine line between a hole, a blackout, and a psychotic break on PCP and its analogues. I was definitely treading the line, and urge anyone else that tries a dose this high to be careful. Make sure you have a comfortable controlled environment and access to your favorite music. Have good friends on standby that won't judge you, won't enable you, and have some level of experience themselves regarding powerful dissociatives.
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