DOSE:	18 - 72 mg		Pharms - Methylphenidate	(daily)
			Pharmaceuticals	(daily)
	repeated	smoked	Tobacco

BODY WEIGHT:

85 kg

Jan 2021 - Time Goes Faster As I Slow Down

I started to use this medication while I was in psych ward. It was suggested by my psychiatrist to control my thoughts and urges to self harm. I don't have ADHD but using it off the label helped me to control my anxiety thought and urges to self harm.

During first week effects of the medication was really noticeable. On the first week of it I felt enormously motivated, euphoric and energetic. I even hate when it's night time. It felt like time goes faster but my biological clock starts to slow down. I wasn't in need of food, sleep. I wasn't feeling cold even tho it was 10 degrees outside. And most noticeable effect was a strong urge to chat with people. When the med wore off at like 7-8 pm I started to notice it was wearing off and I felt a heavy tiredness. It was like if I was spending a non existed energy and exceeded my mental energy limit. Also I was smoking more than ever.

On the second week without noticing much of the side effects, I noticed that I wasn't experiencing the euphoria and motivation as well. Positive noticeable effects were almost got decreased to half.

On the third week my anxiety and racing thoughts got a bit worse but not worse than before. I kept taking it as prescribed along with some antipsychotic and antianxiety medication without sedative effects to suppress, negative side effects of the concerta. On this week I started to become more tense, angry and agitated. Everything was annoying me. I was feeling offensive. I wasn't eating, my mind was racing, my hands were shaking when dealing with small things like using a screwdriver and I was feeling excited over small things like I was under a threat and my heart rate goes upto 160-170 BPM a few times a day.

On week 4 my anger got eased a bit. My mind was racing like never before and I felt mentally crashed all day long. I wasn't feeling any positive effects of the med anymore. All I could feel was lethargy. Only positive effect of it is it helps me to get out of bed easier. I've talked with my psychiatrist and we decided to increase the dose a bit to 54 mg alongside with a atomoxetine.

Overall this medication can be useful for urge control and anxiety if it was prescribed with correct supportive medications. But it caused me to build tolerance really fast. It really would be useful for recreational use but I rather using it for my health concerns since I'm experiencing enough of the anxiety abusing this speedy lil' demon might crush me.

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March 2021 - Not What I Expected

I'm on concerta 54 mg for at least 3 months now and I decided to snort it to feel a bit high. I took my daily oral dose at 7 AM and Insufflated dose at 1 PM.

Outer shell was tough to remove luckily I had a wood carving knife which is sharp enough to cut it. I took out the outer shell with alza 54 text on it and there was another plastic shell coating the medicine. It has 3 parts pink, white, brown. So I checked some videos and brown is to push medicine over time and white stuff is the methylphenidate. I don't know what pink part is so I cut it away. It was really really tough to powder it. I had to fold it in to a paper and smash it with heavy stuff for a few minutes and still It looked wet and clumpy.

I did my best and when it was good to go I cut 54 mg into two lines and hit it with both sides of my nose. It got stuck a bit on my nostrils but not that much. Drip was a bit nasty but it tasted kinda sweet and made me cough a lot.

I've waited for about 10 minutes my heart rate elevated slightly and I felt nauseous. Didn't get euphoric like feeling only my focus increased while I was playing world of warcraft. It only made me feel like my first day on concerta.

Maybe I should try snorting ritalin since it is easier to process but in my opinion concerta ain't good for snorting.

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Aug 2021 - Sober Is the New High

First of all I've spent my last 3 year high. I was constantly trying different types of meds and drugs in order to get high and ending up intoxicating myself, especially with benzos and huasca brew. I ended up in psych ward since I couldn't stop my urges to do drugs and self harm.

After a week my doc decided to try concerta 18mg on me and that felt awesome. I was euphoric, energetic and talkative. But this feeling didn't last long after a week or something my tolerance went up and in 7 months of using concerta I'm now using 72mg daily which is considered as max. dose.

For 3 months concerta really helped me to stay away from meds and control my urges on self harm but at a cost. The first thing I do when I wake up is to take concerta half asleep and wait for it to kick in to leave the bed. It doesnt cause euphoria like it used to do but it helps me to get through the day. I tried mixing concerta with alcohol cannabis and some diazepam but those dont mix well with it.

The side effects I still experience are clenching jaw, smoking too much, restlessness, insomnia, decreased appetite. Positive side effects actually overcome the negative ones. I feel productive motivated, and sometimes feel slight happiness while I'm doing something.

This medication helped me a lot but addiction is inevitable. I cant get out of bed, read something, do cleaning, mostly every daily stuff can not be done without concerta.

When I skip my dose for 2 or 3 days I experience increased anxiety, tremors and lethargy. I cant even think a life without concerta anymore. My condition got better but I keep lying to my doc to keep getting prescribed for concerta. My new way of getting high is being super sober now.

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August 2021 - Beyond Sober

I've been on concerta for 9 months now and I would like to share my experience over time and my daily experience. Daily experience time stamps are not exact, I live a routine life and everyday it's kind of the same.

I haven't done much of stimulants, I'm mostly experienced with sedatives, hypnotics, deliriants.

Everyday I wake up at 7 AM and pop concerta on empty stomach before even leaving the bed.

Short Term Effects (Daily):

0:00 Took concerta on empty stomach and went back to sleep.

0:25 Concerta starts to work and I fully wake up even if I slept only for a few hours.

1:00 I feel grumpy until concerta takes effect which takes and hour or so. After an hour I start to feel motivated, uplifted and talkative.

2:00 I skip breakfast, concerta takes away my appetite. I smoke more than I usually do.

3:00 Concerta is peaking and I'm focused as hell on whatever I'm busy with. A little bit of bruxism is going on but not giving me discomfort.

3:30 I smoke more and drinking coffee like a maniac. All I want to do is contact with others and be productive. I slightly feel anxious, this almost feels like a dream or being high on something but I'm sober af right now.

5:00 At this point I'm more anxious about my health, my heart is going a bit faster. I feel hot flashes and some blurry dots on my eyes whenever I look on something bright.

6:00 My legs are restless but anxiety is slightly lower than before. I still don't want to eat but I got some snacks to keep my blood sugar up.

8:00-10:00 Drug starts to wear of over time and I feel less energetic, less anxious almost lethargic. I do feel hungry and sleepy a bit. I'm usually having huge dinner at this point and lay in bed without doing anything but checking my phone.

10:00-12:00 I feel a bit depressed, sleepy and tired. Even if I haven't done anything during the day I feel mentally drained when concerta wears off. My ADHD gets even worse and at this point all I can do is to sleep it out till next day.,

Long Term Effects:

Over 9 months I slightly feel stupid when I'm not on concerta. I can't wake up without it and I can't do my daily stuff without it. I organize my life around concerta and this is what people call "addiction". I skipped my dose for a week when I'm taking another substance but didn't experience withdrawal effects except lethargy and increased anxiety. My attention is at peak when I'm on it but It's worse than before when I'm not on my med. Sometimes it causes mania and I feel confident more than ever before. But It also causes a crash when it wears off which brings depressive symptoms back and causes suicidal thoughts. I abuse it a few times during my 3rd or 4th month by crushing it but concerta is 3 layered pill and almost impossible to powder it so I don't really enjoy doing that. I feel somewhat different and more alert all the day and I can't think of a life without concerta anymore. Physically It didn't cause any harm or changes on my body but mentally It made me a more manic and anxious person.

It's a wonder drug really improves my cognitive abilities but it takes them away when it wears off and I turn into a useless copy of myself.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115728
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Sep 3, 2021	Views: 1,741
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Pharms - Methylphenidate (114) : Various (28), Medical Use (47), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)