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How I Tried and Became Addicted
by Just call me Danny
Citation:   Just call me Danny. "How I Tried and Became Addicted: An Experience with Tramadol (exp115774)". Erowid.org. Sep 28, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115774

150 - 2000 mg oral O-Desmethyltramadol (daily)


How I Tried and Became Addicted to TRAMADOL

Since childhood, I suffered from severe depression and anxiety, which eventually impaired my long-term decision making and led me into drugs. I've tried many things, amphetamines, cocaine, weed, alcohol, hallucinogens, but nothing made me as happy as opiates did. Once I got into opiates, I immedeately stopped doing every other drugs. I... Just loved opiates, and tried a bunch of them, as I said, but nothing caught my attention as tramadol.

Why? First of all, I quickly found out that I could legally buy it in almost any pharmacy here without prescription (I live in South America, so, yeah). No need to spend hours meeting with any dealer to get other stuff. Second reason, because of it being legal and so accessible, it's also cheaper compared to other opiates, and purer. And unlike other opiates, it doesn't have this ''downer'' effect, it gives more energy as well, because it has SSRI properties (my guess is that I got hooked on tramadol and not on heroin, for example, is because it's SSRI properties cured my depression almost instantly).

I've tried it 3 years ago. In the beginning, I was doing it twice a week, 150mg at once (or 3 pills, each containing 50mg), and I was ok. Not getting too much into details, twice a week quickly became three times, then from five times a week. Also, by the end of the first year, 150mg became 400mg, by the second year, 800mg, and currently I am taking 2 full boxes of tramadol, every fucking day (yes, that would be 40 pills a day, but don't try it yourself).

What is tramadol like? To whoever is saying that tramadol sucks because it's so weak, it's not, if you have no tolerance. The feeling is very similar to oxycodone or morphine when injected, only it's not instant. It takes 30 minutes to start feeling something, and 1 hour at least to peak. The difference between other opiates is that tramadol is more an upper than downer. Not the same level as amphetamines, but I will feel that even though I am feeling cozy, pain free, happy, calm, instead of willing to sit doing nothing, I will want to get up and get stuff done. It's not stimulating physically, but more mentally, again, for it being an SSRI. Also, it's very long lasting. If I take it in the morning, I will feel great until the next day, basically. Oh and I can't get an erection on it (as a male) unless I take a few pills of viagra.

Now, how's the comedown/hangover? It gives me bad hangovers. Worse than alcohol. I won't get diarrhea, start vomiting, but just feel very lethargic and it causes a REALLY bad headache, but it's not a problem. I take one ibuprofen, a lot of water, and I will be fine in 2 hours.

Withdrawal? The withdrawal is very similar to nicotine withdrawal plus SSR withdrawal, in my opinion, despite taking 2 boxes a day. I won't start vomiting, diarrhea (although, since it constipates me, I meet the bathroom more than usual) never happened to me after stopping it for some time, and I don't have restless leg syndrome or pain in my bones or whatever. It's not the usual opiate withdrawal. The most bothersome thing I feel is headache, really bad headache that won't go away, and brain zaps, and general depression, anxiety, desperation, mental symptoms but very bad.

I've overdosed 4 times on it, 2 times at home and 2 times at work. Every time I overdosed was when I changed brand (because the pharmacy didn't have the usual brand) for some unknown reason to me, despite taking the same amount and not containing any acetominophen/tylenol or whatever. The overdose feels very similar to what I assume is a normal opiate overdose. I feel normal, then I feel high, I do whatever I do, and the next thing I do is wake up with doctors surrounding me. It's not painful at all. Luckily, the lack of oxygen didn't cause me any side long term effects or problems.

I never lost my job, I was always a hard working man, even before tramadol, but after starting to take it I became even more productive and more motivated to work. I always had enough money for it.

Despite being addicted to it, I don't feel guilty. It changed my life (for good). I became totally another person, motivated for studying, working and improving my life, motivated to meet new people, make friend, date, etc. Just to give you an example, it motivated me to study French, which I did, and now I achieved (studied it 2 hours a day for a year, by the way) C1, can understand, speak and write it almost perfectly, even though I still have to improve my accent. It motivated me to find new friends and start dating again (after having my heart broken too many times). It helped me become a better person, to forgive, and to help other people.

Take it responsibly.

Exp Year: 2018 - 2021ExpID: 115774
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 22 
Published: Sep 28, 2021Views: 220
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Pharms - Tramadol (149) : Various (28), Hangover / Days After (46), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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