DOSE:

60 mg

oral

Duloxetine

(pill / tablet)

I had been becoming more and more interested in drugs of any and all kinds, and this curiosity surpassed the point of being satisfied by merely reading others’ experiences. I realized that I needed to know how it felt, to try everything. So, I decided the best and simplest place to start was with things at home, and more specifically (and I feel bad for this), my dad’s prescription drugs. These included duloxetine, oxycodone, and a bunch of other things: all of which I, over the course of a few months, began to steal and hide for myself. For a fair amount of time, however, I couldn't muster up the courage to actually take anything. That is, until the night of the event.

I was completely alone and wasn't in the best mindset and was in some kind of self-destructive anger and anxiety thing, and prior experience with similar feelings often leads to me doing something impulsive. This time, the impulsive thing was picking up one of the 60mg duloxetine pills I had taken and swallowing it without a second thought. Immediately after I felt significantly better (albeit shaky), adrenaline and whatever else goes on in my mind at these times numbing the anger and anxiety since I sort of took it out on myself. I don't believe this was due to the drug itself yet. I believe I took this around 10:00pm. I had taken some 10mg 24-hour Reactine (an allergy medication whose active/medicinal ingredient is Cetirizine Hydrochloride) the morning (around 7:00am) about 15 hours prior to taking the duloxetine. For the next hour or so, I did homework, and found that everything seemed to be normal throughout this. Around 12:00am, I fell asleep, perhaps with more ease than usual, but still didn't notice any changes in how I was feeling/acting.

Around three hours later, at 2:40am, I woke up, feeling slightly nauseous and a little disorientated, the latter of which I dismissed initially as being because I just woke up. After finding I wasn't going to fall asleep again for a while since I felt oddly restless, uneasy, and just off in general, I mainly just fucked around on my phone for a little while, finding that my discomfort was increasing; I felt quite restless, a tad shaky, uncomfortably hot, increasingly more nauseous, and found my stomach was beginning to hurt. After getting up going to the bathroom, hoping to maybe feel a bit better, there seemed to be a drastic rise in symptoms.

At this point, my stomach was cramping quite painfully, and I felt like I was going to throw up at any second. My small amount of shaking from earlier was debilitating now, as I was trembling uncontrollably all over, and my heart rate was, at one point, at 134bpm, more than double my resting heart rate (I have one of those watches that tracks that type of thing). I could tell my blood pressure was high along with my temperature. The worst of all, though, was probably the feeling that I was burning from the inside out, with the sort of epicentre of this being my stomach. I was panicking now, thinking that I might have to tell my parents about this and that I needed to go to the hospital because I was dying or something. I was dizzy and it hurt to move, but I had this sense that I needed to move and could not stay still. I did have thoughts that were quicker than normal, like small flashes of dangerous ideas, but generally it felt like my thinking process was slower than normal in terms of deciding what to do and figuring out what was going on. I felt sluggish and kind of confused, almost sliding from thought to thought without truly finishing thinking them.

After laying in various positions on the floor and moving uncoordinatedly from place to place sluggishly and in my room for most likely 20-30 minutes. I stumbled down the stairs in an attempt to possibly cool myself down since the temperatures throughout my house differ. I laid down on the couch and stared at the wall for a while, shifting in an attempt to rid myself of the horrible stomach pain and burning and trying to calm myself down by breathing more slowly. Eventually, the pain just sort of dissipated, and I found myself suddenly quite comfortable and tired, slipping in and out of sleep. After a couple minutes, I walked back upstairs and to my room (with considerably better coordination), collapsed on my bed and fell asleep. It must have been between 3:00 and 4:00am at this point.

Oddly enough, I woke up at 6:30am or so, more refreshed and happy than I had been in what is most likely years. Despite a bit of shakiness and dilated pupils which I observed in the mirror, I was, according to my parents, seeming much happier and more enthusiastic than I had been for a very long time. I was feeling quite jittery and overly talkative, and talked much quicker and more than usual. I then went on to attend school, and found myself more sociable and happy, but it seemed as though I was missing my usual anger and ability to muster up the desire/drive to pay attention in school and do projects. I just simply did not care, which was kind of refreshing if I'm honest.

My abnormal trembling lasted most of the day, with the dilated pupils wearing off around midday. The emotional/ psychological effects have mostly lasted two or so days following that night/ morning. I have an anxiety disorder (OCD in particular), and find that the symptoms of it, following this dose, have been a little different, decreased a little bit the day following when I took the duloxetine but are basically back to normal two days later (unfortunately). Another thing I did notice the day following when I took it was a bit of a foggy memory and difficulty recalling random things, a bit of what seemed like depersonalization/ detachment from who I am along with just a general oddness in how I felt. I also am finding that I can't stop thinking about the experience.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115780
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Sep 8, 2023	Views: 415
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Duloxetine (395) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Glowing Experiences (4), Health Problems (27), First Times (2), General (1)