Being a Fish and an Ape
Salvia divinorum
by VicariousInDub
Citation:   VicariousInDub. "Being a Fish and an Ape: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp115813)". Oct 7, 2021.

6 g buccal Salvia divinorum (dried)


I was completely sober before, no weed, no alcohol. I didn't use any other enhancer (grapefruit juice or likewise).

I've weighed out 6g of dried leaves, rehydrated them for like 5 minutes in lukewarm water, firmly squeezed them out, divided them in 6 equal(ish) portions and then sat down and removed the central vein from the leaves while listening to a lecture by Terrence McKenna to lighten me up.

As soon as I finished this process with the first portion, I started chewing it.

I really chewed it all down, proper grinding it between my teeth so that it's just a very thick juice in my mouth and went on removing the veins from the rest of my leaves.

Once I felt like I properly chewed it all down (maybe for like 10 minutes) I spit it out and started chewing the next ball of ca 1g.

From the second portion on I flavoured it with some honey (could have done it from the beginning but it was just after chewing the first portion that I realized I'm gonna have to get 5 more down and it's not the best taste).

While chewing the third portion, I started feeling something, very subtly though. I smoked and vaporised Salvia many times before so it definitely felt vaguely familiar.

After spitting out the fourth and putting in the fifth portion, I turned out the lights, put on some shamanic music and sat on my couch, chewing with my eyes closed.

I started feeling like my two cerebral hemispheres were trying to separate from each other (amounting to the typical "zipper" feeling, like being zipped open in the middle).
I started feeling like my two cerebral hemispheres were trying to separate from each other (amounting to the typical "zipper" feeling, like being zipped open in the middle).

Every now and then I had an intrusive thought like: "What are you doing? Getting high? Why are you doing this? What if someone rings the doorbell? Aren't there people you should text back or something like that? Do you have any idea how stupid you're probably looking right now?" and I realised, this was the Ego, conditioned by culture, trying to anchor my consciousness to its lower dimension and there was no need to worry. So I made an effort to let go, shortly before realising that effort in itself is weighing me down and the only thing I need to do in order to let go is let go.

Supported by this thought, I got up, spit out the fifth portion and took in the sixth, sat back down, started chewing and let go. My mind started wandering but I still felt like I couldn't just let it go entirely because I still had something in my mouth, so I just kinda got into the groove while chewing the last bit of Salvia.

After a few minutes I felt like this was gonna be enough for today's session. I got up, spit out, went for a quick pee (keeping the lights switched off) and then went to lie down on my couch.

I started feeling like there was some sort of entity present. Not in the room, but in my mind, some external consciousness and I welcomed it as the consciousness of the plant communicating with my own consciousness through the psychoactive compound. I concentrated on sending a message, something like "Hello. I welcome you! I would like to communicate, feel free to take hold and show me what you have to show!" and suddenly I felt like some sort of... download started. I could feel my head starting to fill up with a feeling, slowly descending like a download bar filling up, but the bar was my body and it was being filled by something.

I felt it slowly making its way towards my neck, my chest, my lap, my legs and my feet and as soon as it reached my toes, I realised how it felt like: Water!

It felt like I slowly got lowered head-first into water and as soon as I realised this, I saw an underwater world and I realised I was turned into a fish! I let my newly-transformed consciousness just drift along the current, swimming and turning for a little while. I could still feel consensus reality having a hold on me, I could feel the couch under my body but it felt like I was in two dimensions at the same time - an ape on a couch and a fish under water. This only went on for a few minutes, then I felt like I was being brought back into my body by the plant consciousness, very gently, kinda like it tucked me in and then I could feel its presence... well, her presence because it really felt like a feminine entity somehow (maybe this is just my cultural programming though), lying down on top of my body, weighing me down but in a very warm and nice way.

I just kinda drifted around a bit like that until I started seeing circular movement behind my closed eyes. I realised "Oh wow, is this the wheel?" and indeed more circular lines starting forming and some sort of round mandala emerged. It wasn't colorful, more like dark outlines in front of a slightly lighter background but it was beautiful nevertheless.

After watching this spin out for a while, I had a feeling of ascending, like I was really leaving my body this time only not as a fish, but as mind by itself. I ascended for a bit but then I started thinking: "What if someone rings the bell now and you're in a phase of ego dissolution?" and at first I was a bit annoyed at that thought but then I realised that it's okay. I had some trouble with my downstairs neighbour being very sensitive to any noise lately. She moved out just a week ago, so there's no need to worry but it still got imprinted on my mind, so I probably need some time to be completely at ease again and I thought that it's absolutely okay that there's this one anchor still tying me down for now. It's not gonna be my last session and there is no rush to get anywhere.

So I just floated there a bit, most of my mind floating in a very calmed and relaxed state, one little bit of my mind still with my body on the couch and after a few more minutes I consciously made it back to my body completely, slowly started moving my fingers and toes, hands and feet and eventually got up, breathed for a few minutes and then turned on the lights ending the session.

I think the most intensive part lasted for about 45 minutes to an hour. This was SO different from any other Salvia experience so far (smoked or vaped), far more relaxed.

I felt like I really had time to interact with the plant consciousness and see where it wanted to take me. I'm very curious to see how much further she can take me once I get over the slight neighbour-induced anxiety and feel like slightly increasing the dose.

The Shepherdess is a gentle spirit when you don't torch her for sure.

Exp Year: 2021ExpID: 115813
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 30 
Published: Oct 7, 2021Views: 1,304
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Salvia divinorum (44) : General (1), Entities / Beings (37), Preparation / Recipes (30), Alone (16)

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