Survey: Hallucinogens & Relationships
Researchers at Columbia University are seeking
individuals who have used a psychedelic while in a
romantic relationship, for an anonymous survey.
Both individuals & couples are invited to participate.
Check out the Survey
by Dottie
Citation:   Dottie. "Paralyzed: An Experience with Cannabis (exp115819)". Oct 6, 2021.

1 bowl smoked Cannabis


[Erowid Note: Some authors report suspicions that their cannabis has been 'laced' (adulterated), in some cases, presumably with PCP. While this is possible, readers should be aware that idiosyncratic response to the effects of cannabis (usually higher doses) can lead some users to presume their cannabis has been 'laced'. There is no way to know if the cannabis in the report below was adulterated or not. Reports of plant material and cannabis laced with powerful synthetic cannabinoids and other psychoactive substances became more common starting in 2007.]

I had a mental breakdown, lost my job, got into a fight with my former best friend, got put into a psych ward because I tried to kill myself, and was kicked out of my place of living, all in the span of a week. I had to move back in with my mother and brothers or else be homeless, and I didn't want to be homeless again. I couldn't take my dog with me on the plane because I didn't have enough money to get her on the plane with me. So, I had to give her up. I didn't want to put her in a shelter, so I gave her to an acquaintance, kissed her goodbye, and took an uber to the airport. The whole trip, I was stressing, crying, and thinking about how I really didn't want to go back to living with my dysfunctional, abusive family.

When I got there, my mother and older brother barely greeted me. Before I moved out, we got into a huge fight because I had just come out as queer, and they didn't like that. Even though my older brother is gay, and my little brother is bi, but they don't talk about it. I, however, am out and proud. I was raised baptist, but I'm an atheist. My family really didn't like that, either. So, I wasn't feeling the familiar, unconditional love I was promised. However, my little brother, while not the warmest person in the world, did give me a hug, and I really needed that. I cried in his arms, and he let me.

Later, while we were eating dinner, he asked me if I 'partook,' then pretended to light up a pipe.

"Weed?" I asked, laughing because he looked silly pretending to blow pretend smoke out of his mouth.


"Yeah, I smoke weed occasionally."

"Nice. I have some. Wanna go mellow out?"

I've never smoked weed with my little brother, but hey, I did need something to take the edge off. I've only smoked pot, I was never interested in any other kind of drug, but my little brother was the drug fiend in our family. He did everything from coke to acid. We didn't have the best childhood, and that's what he did to cope. We went to his room, and he let me have a bowl all to myself because my day was shit. Real nice of him.

After smoking one bowl, I started feeling really weird. My body felt like it was getting stuck with pins and needles, my face felt like it was melting, I could hear screaming in my head. I freaked out, stood up on wobbly legs, and was only able to take two steps before I toppled over. I heard my little brother laughing, but I ignored him as I crawled out of his room, and into a closet. I would have made a 'back in the closet' joke, but I was too freaked out.

I was lying on the ground, on my stomach, shaking, but I couldn't move an inch of my body. I had heard of something like this with sleep paralysis, but I wasn't asleep. At least, I don't think I was. At one point, I made it into my room, and started hallucinating. I hallucinated that this guy that I've had a crush on for years came into my room, pulled his dick out and fucked my face, then rolled me onto my back, and fucked me hard. I remember tears rolling down my face, that I was whimpering and moaning, and my face was red hot from blushing, but I still couldn't move. It felt amazing. Eventually, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, hours later, the first thing I did was go and confront my little brother.

"What the fuck?!"

He jumped when I barged into his room, but didn't answer me.

"What did you give me?!"


"Did you spike it?"


"You don't sound very sure."

"Eh... I dunno. This guy I got it from mighta put something in it."

I had nothing else to say to him, and just went back into my room, and read smutty fanfics until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, and went back to sleep. I never smoked with my little brother ever again after that.

Exp Year: 2017ExpID: 115819
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: 24 
Published: Oct 6, 2021Views: 260
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
Cannabis (1) : Small Group (2-9) (17), What Was in That? (26), Difficult Experiences (5)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission prior to your downloading the data.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults