Fear Diminished
Phenibut
Citation:   Psilophen. "Fear Diminished: An Experience with Phenibut (exp115897)". Erowid.org. Feb 12, 2022. erowid.org/exp/115897

 
DOSE:
1.5 - 7 g oral Smarts - Phenibut (daily)
BODY WEIGHT: 200 lb
Stemming from early childhood I have always suffered from anxiety - manifesting as a fear of social interaction, an inability to complete even the most basic routine tasks of self care (showering, eating well, brushing teeth, exercise) a complete lack of drive and ambition, psychosomatic aches and pains, panic attacks, negative thought cycles. It has deeply affected every facet of my existence.

Diagnosed mental health issues: ADHD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder and Recurrent episodes of Depression.

I have had many issues with substance dependency. I spent the best part of my later adolescence and adult life isolated from society - preferring to use my time sat behind a computer screen. I used this time as an opportunity to expand my knowledge around the limits of the human brain and consciousness through the use of drugs. I have experimented with many substances. Hallucinogens, dissociatives, stimulants, benzodiazepines, opioids, cannabis, inhalants. The list is extensive.

Swing round to 2021 - my life has improved significantly in the space of 12 months, I had just recovered from a 6 year IV Heroin dependency that took me to the point of death on many occasions (Deep Vein Thrombosis, Abscesses, Overdoses) I am exercising regularly - going to the gym 4-5 times a week, walking and cycling in the countryside, establishing and maintaining relationships with people. Despite the positive changes in my life, my mental state is still inhibited by marked feelings of anxiety - fear of being my "true" self, negative internal dialogue, cold sweats, heart palpitations etc.

I have experience using different GABA drugs (GBL, Pregabalin, Gabapentin to name a few) and I came across Phenibut through various online forums and scientific literature. I decided to order some online and began by taking 1.5 grams for my first experience - some might say that it's a high dose, but I've never been one for half measures.

Frame of mind going into it: Tired, Anxious with some lingering feelings of apathy and depression.

Subjective effects from that experience:

Anxiety gave way to motivation and determination
Anxiety gave way to motivation and determination
, I wanted to move, I wanted to get outside and experience the world.
Music sounded absolutely fantastic and I found myself with a grin plastered on my face - every tune invoking the full spectrum of emotion.
Depression was obliterated - I was left with a sense of wonder and a return to my childlike inquisitive mindset.
I found myself wanting to pick up my acoustic guitar and practice.
I took one look at my room and deemed it unacceptable to have such a disgusting environment, swiftly tidied and organised.
I texted and called friends and family that I haven't spoken to in a long time, I wanted to hear about their lives and I wanted to share my positive emotions.
I felt energetic, with an inner strength - a desire to get up and go. I cycled to the gym and completed an hour long weight lifting workout - working harder and more efficiently than usual.
I found myself smiling at people as I walked around - positive energy beaming from my inner core.
That night I slept soundly and woke up the next day with a mild semi "high" that lasted well into the evening.

Now, due to my addictive tendencies - I wanted to repeat the experience. None of my various substance experiences have ever matched the effect on my anxiety. I continued to take 1.5 grams a day - the effects remained consistent for quite a while. I found myself having to increase the dose over time to maintain the level of anxiety relief that 1.5 grams provided. Over this time I increased my level of exercise, optimised my nutrition, established a new romantic relationship (sex drive massively elevated), took up photography, started making music and interacting with my family on a regular basis. My dose continued to increase - to the point at which I was taking up to 10 grams a day.

I'd like to mention that my dreams on Phenibut are often lucid, vivid and filled with colour and interesting insights.

Negative effects:
Sleep began to be impacted by withdrawal effects, even though the half life of the drug is quite long, I would experience restlessness and night sweats.
My bladder appears to have been impacted by the drug, as I'm experiencing discomfort - particularly at night, having to wake and urinate many times a night. I believe this is due to the acidity of the Phenibut, as I've been using Phenibut HCL - I'm aware that I can source FAA which does away with the acidity, it's out of my price range. I have found that I can balance out the acidity by using sodium bicarbonate to neutralise but this adds the risk of excessive sodium intake. I am investigating the root cause of my bladder issues, as it's an ongoing problem that I've had for many years. I believe my anxiety can influence my need to urinate.

I have had a few checkups with the doctor after 4 months of continuous use - blood pressure and heart rate are normal. I've also had blood tests which have all indicated that I'm in good health.

I have consistently used Phenibut every day for 4 months, my life has improved significantly. My dose has currently levelled out at 7 grams a day in split doses. I understand that this may not be a viable long-term answer to my mental health issues. I would like to have the same positive mentality and lack of anxiety without the use of a substance.

I feel like the individual that I should be, free from the negative internal dialogue, a drive to try new things and push myself to achieve my wildest dreams.

Phenibut is a fantastic substance if used carefully - I would recommend that one doesn't take it every day to give the body a chance to recover. The withdrawal effects are awful
The withdrawal effects are awful
- a return to apathy, fear, cold sweats, muscle cramps, violent dreams, sleepless nights, heart palpitations.

I have since successfully combined Phenibut with Lisdexamfetamine - which is prescribed to treat ADHD. The substances synergise fantastically - organised, focused, energetic - without the anxiety that stimulants can bring to the table.

Exp Year: 2021ExpID: 115897
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 12, 2022Views: 1,447
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Smarts - Phenibut (379) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Depression (15), Glowing Experiences (4), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3)

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