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Horror Show
Bupropion, Divalproex, Cetirizine & Cannabis
by Alex
Citation:   Alex. "Horror Show: An Experience with Bupropion, Divalproex, Cetirizine & Cannabis (exp115978)". Erowid.org. Jan 3, 2022. erowid.org/exp/115978

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
450 mg oral Pharms - Bupropion  
  T+ 0:00   oral Cannabis (extract)
  T+ 0:00   vaporized Cannabis (extract)
  T+ 14:30 300 mg oral Pharms - Bupropion  
  T+ 14:30 250 mg oral Pharms - Divalproex  
  T+ 14:30 20 mg oral Pharms - Cetirizine  
  T+ 15:00 4 cups oral Coffee  
  T+ 15:00   vaporized Cannabis (extract)
  T+ 16:00   repeated vaporized Cannabis (extract)
  T+ 25:00   repeated vaporized Cannabis (extract)
  T+ 25:00   oral Cannabis (extract)
BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb
About me:

I’m a tall, thin, and relatively healthy male college student. I’m also Bipolar 1 but medicated and mostly stable. I am not suicidal or depressed however I would consider myself a bit of a thrill seeker or adrenaline junkie. I am not a religious or spiritual person and I do not believe in the paranormal. I smoke cannabis and drink coffee regularly but don’t do any “real drugs”. I have no experience with psychedelics or deliriants. The closest thing I’ve experienced is a nitrous oxide overdose and all the fun hallucinations that come with it.

Once upon a time one Friday evening, I was bored and had recently become very interested in Anticholinergics. As someone who isn’t fazed by darkness or horror movies, the pure terror and particularly weird hallucinations sounded like something I at least had to do once out of morbid curiosity
the pure terror and particularly weird hallucinations sounded like something I at least had to do once out of morbid curiosity
. I didn’t want to do Datura because of the length or DPH because of the hangover and brain damage so I looked up other options. I eventually decided on Bupropion, Divalproex, and Cetirizine hoping combining them would be enough to hallucinate without any major issues. I chose Bupropion to stay awake, Divalproex to hopefully prevent any seizures, and Cetirizine because why not. I have leftover bottles for all of these so acquiring them was not a problem. Don't do this of course.

T + 0 minutes (First Dose): Friday evening at ~5:30 PM I take 3x 150mg Wellbutrin XL pills along with what can be described as a cookie with a glob of THC wax which I ate on an empty stomach. I also take a few repeated hits from my THC wax pen.

T + 15 minutes: I grab a bottle of water preparing for intense cottonmouth. My roommates R and J drive me to a live show taking place at my college’s auditorium. There are going to be dancers and music which is all I cared about. I am starting to feel the effects of THC. A sensation of relaxation and warmth flows through me.

T + 1 hours: I am sitting in the auditorium. I feel a rush of restlessness and euphoria. The edible is now starting to hit. I hear ringing in my ears but that normally happens when I get high. I feel very awake but talking to people and responding to questions is becoming difficult. Someone comes up to me and asks me how I’m doing. I don’t make out everything he asks me and I just say I’m doing alright. This happens a few more times but I don’t think anybody notices.

T + 2 hours: Very thirsty, constantly drinking water. I really have to piss so I go to the bathroom. I get in one of the stalls and pull out my phone and start looking at twitter. This is where my short-term memory completely goes to shit. I forget I’m at a show. I don’t even remember if I actually pissed or not. After about 15 minutes R texts me to come back to the seats so I leave the bathroom and come back.

T + 2 hours 45 minutes: My vision starts getting weird. The wall of the auditorium, the dancers, and the screen behind them separates and become very far apart. The stage appears to be very close to me despite being near the back. I feel like nothing has ever happened before this moment. I can sense everything around me and my field of view feels increased.

T + 3 hours: Everything on stage and the back wall becomes a glass mosaic of green and white with the dancers being tan and yellow. Loud noises hurt more although I listen to a lot of loud music so It’s not that bad. I still feel very awake and restless and I have to piss really bad.

T + 3 hours 20 minutes: I leave the auditorium to try pissing again. There is a long hall on my way out. As I walk down I notice the visual brightness I get from weed to be much stronger than usual. It looks like my vision was covered in a 15% opacity whiteness and there was a light fog enveloping everything. I enter a stall and sit down for a second. My vision is drifting towards the center and becoming all squiggly. I finish pissing and get back to my seat for the rest of the show while occasionally getting up for more water.

T + 5 hours: I don’t remember much after this other than getting into R’s car and then eating an entire box of sour patch kids and falling asleep.

T + 14 hours: It’s Saturday. I wake up bright and early feeling great. I see some weird geometry immediately after waking up but it goes away after a few seconds. I had a lot of fun the previous night and I am ready for the rest of the next dose.

T + 14 hours 30 minutes (Second dose): At around 8 AM I take 2 more 150mg Wellbutrin XL pills, 1x 250mg Depakote ER pill, and 2x Zyrtec 10mg 24h pills. This was on an empty stomach.

T + 15 hours: I start making a pot of coffee and I talk to J. The first thing I notice is the thirst. I start drinking cup after cup of water. I start feeling the dumbness and struggle to focus on making the coffee but I get it eventually. R is out getting lunch so I take a couple hits of my wax pen to help against appetite suppression later. I drink 4 cups of coffee ( ~400mg Caffeine ).

T + 15 hours 30 minutes: Big rush of euphoria and energy. I eat my lunch. I feel pretty good.

T + 16 hours: I start to feel VERY nauseous and restless. I start taking repeated hits from my wax pen to reduce nausea. It works mostly although almost all psychoactive effects from the THC are missing. I start hearing weird ambient noises. Like rain or static but very faint. My mind is also starting to race. I’m drinking a lot of water and going to piss every 10 minutes. Pissing isn’t very hard, surprisingly. My roommates leave to go to a football game for the next 6 hours or so. I am all alone now.

T + 17 hours: Time starts to become weird and slow. I close my eyes. CEVs are starting to become intense. Black and light grey monochrome visuals, sometimes light brown. On both sides of my vision is rising smoke or fog. There are shadow people walking by like I’m on a bench at a busy airport people-watching. The center of my vision is what looks like blurred text which occasionally fades out and is replaced by close images of faces or people. Some look uncanny and creepy. Not much OEVs other than the occasional object activation. Looks like the object flies out of place a couple feet then immediately back.

T + 17 hours 30 minutes: HEAVY body load. My arms and legs feel super weak like after an orgasm. CEVs start having color and are more detailed. I actually got an up close look at two shadow people. They had no face except eyes, they had white eyes with black pupils but no Iris. They were translucent and weren’t pure black but very dark purple with many slightly brighter purple veins in them. They all look exactly the same. Same exact proportions, same exact face. I also occasionally see amalgamations or piles of bugs, specifically spiders. They either whiz by or are recursive and I get sucked into them like a tunnel. Every time I close my eyes I feel like I’m entering a different reality. Opening them is very jarring. I stopped closing my eyes for extended periods of time after this because it started freaking me out.

T + 18 hours: Neon color tracers on movement. Some of them look like rainbows. I feel restless and weak. There is also an intense strange feeling in my chest, it’s not pain but it doesn’t feel good. My palms and feet are sweating like I am standing on the edge of a building. Starting to feel paranoid and anxious, I take as many hits as I can on my wax pen before the battery runs out and I plug it in to charge. This does nothing for the anxiety but I feel less nauseous and more comfortable. I can see every imperfection and speck of dirt on every wall. Every painting, door, or cabinet looks crooked. All the walls seem darker. I check my phone camera and compare. The walls in real life look much more desaturated, dirty, and dark.

T + 18 hours 30 minutes: Memory starts getting foggy here. At one point everything looked squiggly or melting but that went away. I kept going in and out of rooms thinking I’m doing something but forgetting. There was a sudden roar of a crowd, it sounded like a packed gymnasium full of people all having separate conversations which scared the shit out of me. I had the Wii Sports announcer tell me “YOU ARE ON DRUGS” which was funny. There was a distant female choir voice holding a note and random buzzing or distant industrial noises. I heard footsteps and knocking but it wasn’t that bad. I think that was just because I was remaining pretty calm though. My heartbeat was fine, maybe a little slow but not skipping beats or anything. I felt like shit but I didn’t feel like I was dying.

T + 19 hours: I put on a podcast to drown out the noises. If I wasn’t paying complete attention to the podcast it would just start sounding like gibberish. It sounds like someone trying to pronounce English but all the letters are fucked up and unraveled. I would have put on music but I think I forgot I could. Everything then starts going to complete shit. I set up a home base in my kitchen where I have the best view if anything comes towards me. This part of the trip was a complete sensory overload. I start seeing shadow people in the real world along with shapes and images multiple times a second with strange noises. The shadow people kept peaking their heads around doorways to stare at me but I would yell something like “FUCK OFF I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU” at them and they went away. When I would go to the bathroom the shadow people would stick their hands under the door and start reaching for my legs. They had large bony hands with skinny arms and light brown skin. They didn’t look like shadows but I knew it was them. There were either 3 or 4 arms and they would only go away if I looked directly at them. I write “U R TRIPPING” and “NOT REAL” on my fingers because I keep forgetting. My arms are shaking pretty bad but I manage to write it. I jack off at some point around here and it feels weird but not super intense.

T + 20 hours: Daddy long legs sized spiders that are little black orbs with ~6 legs and transparent outlines start crawling on me. I swat off the ones I can see and just ignore the ones I feel crawling in my shirt and pants because it’s not that bad and they aren’t biting. I can barely remember what happened 5 seconds ago at this point. I am extremely confused which makes me concerned that I am going crazy but I manage to remain calm with deep breaths. I feel a strong wind blow over me. Once again I feel like nothing has ever happened before this moment. My field of view feels increased. I look out a window and outside is all fucked up and missing trees. I see a massive sand worm type creature come out of the ground ~2 miles away behind a lake. It’s blue and light brown and kind of looks like Gyarados from Pokemon but also a horrifying sand worm. It goes so high out of the ground that it touches the clouds and it starts batting them around and shooting water out of its mouth. I get the same intimidated feeling I get when I look up at a skyscraper. This was my favorite part of the trip however it ended quickly and I blacked out.

T + ~21 hours: I can only remember being afraid and feeling like shit here. I definitely blacked out.

T + ~24 hours: My memory resumes. I am sitting down trying to watch YouTube on my computer but I can't type correctly and I also am not enjoying anything. I hear R and J arrive but It takes what feels like 20 minutes for them to actually enter. I am coming down at this point, the OEVs have mostly ceased and the shadow people have stopped tormenting me.

T + 25 hours: I avoid talking to my roommates and lay in my bed. I refill my wax pen and take as many hits as I possibly can. I lay down and close my eyes where I am still getting light visuals which I can mostly control. The anxiety is mostly gone along with the confusion but the muscle relaxation, nausea, and dumbness is still there.

T + ~26 hours: I make another THC edible by putting a massive glob of wax on a cookie and quickly eat it. I did this to knock myself out. I had pretty nice visuals as I drifted off to sleep. Lots of images of angels.

I slept for 14 hours and woke up feeling alright. The dumbness was there but faded throughout the day. No headache or bad feeling in my chest. Mild CEVs which eventually went back to black. Muscle relaxation lasted the longest but also went away after a day. The time from the second dose to completely sober was around 36 hours.

In conclusion, This was a very weird trip and the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had in my life although fun in retrospect. I got what I wanted. I’m just glad I never puked or had a seizure.

I learned nothing about the universe or myself and I am in no way a better person because of this. I am not mentally stronger or healthier. I don’t think I have any lasting issues and I’m still not afraid of the dark or anything but I don’t plan on ever trying something like this again. I'll just stick to using this stuff as intended.

Exp Year: 2021ExpID: 115978
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jan 3, 2022Views: 1,166
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Cannabis (1), Pharms - Cetirizine (789) : Various (28), Combinations (3)

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