DOSE:	75 mg	oral	Pharms - Phenelzine	(daily)
	150 mg	oral	Pharms - Bupropion	(daily)
	10 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(daily)
	1200 mg	oral	Pharms - Gabapentin	(daily)
	2 g	oral	Tryptophan - L-Tryptophan	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

I've struggled with symptoms of major depression and anhedonia for a long time - around 3 years. When I first started experiencing these I started exploring recreational/"illicit" substances in an attempt to medicate or cure this debilitating condition. I tried most common substances with my friends, and experienced temporary relief at best. Psychedelics definitely provided me with great insight and reflection but I never experienced any sort of remission from depression/anhedonia afterwards. Downers only made me complacent with my situation and I absolutely hated how they made me feel. It seemed no matter how I changed my behavior or environment I was stuck in a perpetual state of low mood, accompanied by low motivation and a very limited range of emotions.

I continued to suffer through this essentially vegetative state until I tried my first stimulant, Adderall, which provided instant relief from all of my mental health issues for the duration of the high. Despite experimenting with stimulants that are commonly believed to have much greater of an addiction liability such as Cocaine and Crystal Methamphetamine, I really only cared for copious amounts of Adderall. No matter how high my daily dosage climbed, I firmly believed that I had discovered my silver bullet. It allowed me to actually get out of bed with endless motivation, and I felt as if willpower alone could allow me to accomplish anything I could dream of.

Eventually, Adderall had completely stopped working, no matter how much I attempted to potentiate the effects. As my dose increased the probability I entered psychosis also increased, with essentially zero effect on mood and motivation. I was stuck in bed again and went back to the drawing board. I went through addiction recovery, and afterwards essentially nothing changed other than the amount of money I spent on drugs. Defeated, I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist online in hopes of being prescribed an antidepressant. The idea of being a psychiatrist's lab rat sounded awful, but in my eyes I figured I didn't have a choice since I clearly did not have the knowledge or expertise to treat myself. I explained to my psychiatrist I was having issues with depression and was prescribed Prozac. After my first dose I felt pretty enthusiastic, thinking that I had finally received a "proper" treatment for depression and my symptoms may finally start to ease up. A month passed and Prozac started to kick in, inducing a state of emotional numbness far worse than what I was experiencing prior, along with major sedation. I began to switch from medication to medication, with each one having its own unique way of worsening my condition.

At this point I had tried over 20 medications for depression, so I started doing my own investigation into potential treatments for anhedonia. Eventually I stumbled across a Wikipedia article for MAO inhibitors, which apparently were much more efficacious than other antidepressants. I was under the impression stimulants were the only way I'd get any sort of relief, but I figured it was at least worth a try. I asked my doctor if I could try Nardil, and surprisingly he agreed even though he knew nothing of MAO inhibitors.

By about a month, I had raised my dose to 30mg [taken in the morning] and began to feel the effects. It felt like I was consistently on a moderate dose of Methamphetamine, and my productivity skyrocketed. In addition to this I started experiencing some of the side effects of Nardil such as complete loss of libido, insatiable munchies, and insomnia. This hypomanic state lasted for a few weeks until I was left slightly above my baseline. According to the research I had done apparently this was common, so I continued to take the medication. As 2 or 3 months passed I had my dose slowly raised to 75mg, and suddenly one day it felt as if a switch had been flipped in my brain. It felt nothing like the initial phase of hypomania, nor did it even feel like I was on any sort of substance. I have since experienced a substantial improvement in mood, energy, motivation, and even social anxiety relief. These effects have persisted for around 9 months now.

The only issue I've had with this medication is managing the side effects , but I've found a cocktail of substances that reduce or eliminate the majority of them for me personally. These include 150mg of Bupropion (morning, for libido, sedation, and appetite), 1.2 grams of Gabapentin (nightly, for chronic insomnia), 2 grams of L-Tryptophan (helps sleep but also seems to potentiate Nardil rather substantially), and 10mg of Adderall (morning, for ADHD) which I feel no need to increase my dose of anymore. Many sources will claim that Nardil interacts with Bupropion and stimulants, however newer research suggests otherwise, and I've combined these 3 substances with no issues for months.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115992
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Jan 17, 2022	Views: 634
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Pharms - Phenelzine (145) : Not Applicable (38), Depression (15), Medical Use (47), Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3)