Citation: Mip. "A New Year's Eve Candy Flipping Tale: An Experience with LSD & MDMA (exp116035)". Erowid.org. Jan 26, 2022. erowid.org/exp/116035
LSD & MDMA, Cannabis, Tobacco, Poppers
This report tells the story of my experience with the combination of LSD and MDMA (also known as “candy flipping” in the psychedelic community) on new year’s eve 2021. LSD blotter paper was tested using Ehrlich and Hofmann reagent, both giving a positive result. The dosage on the blotter paper is unknown to me, however I estimate it to be around 100-150 μg. MDMA crystals were tested using Marquis and Simon’s reagent, both giving a positive identification as well. A dose of 100 mg was weighed using a precision balance that is accurate up to 0,001 g.
17:20 - One hit of LSD blotter paper
22:09 - 100 mg MDMA dissolved in tap water
Cannabis and tobacco consumption throughout the whole experience
SOME BACKGROUND INFO
I am 21 years old and a third/fourth year biochemistry and biotechnology student. The past two years I have been experimenting with primarily psilocybin mushrooms, LSD and MDMA and studying the literature of psychedelic compounds and the psychedelic experience. I am aware that these compounds, when used in the correct “set and setting” and on a properly informed subject that is well prepared, can produce extremely profound changes in the way we perceive ourselves and our environment, often leading to experiences that are truly meaningful and leave the subject struck in awe, struggling to describe what happened with plain simple words. More importantly, these compounds, when used carefully and with proper thought, are tremendously valuable tools for studying the human psyche and gaining insights in one’s own persona, just as Alexander and Ann Shulgin suggested. Being aware of all this, my prior experience with psychedelics have generally been of a positive nature, and I have never had a truly horrifying experience that would keep me away from them. Prior to this experiment, I have used MDMA and LSD individually about 5-7 times respectively.
Prior to this experiment, I have used MDMA and LSD individually about 5-7 times respectively.
I started using psychedelics in low doses first and then had two very profound experiences with high doses of mushrooms (5g dried) in a dark, silent room on my own (inspired by McKenna). I am also a very frequent user of cannabis and have used it almost daily for the past year. I am not using any sort of medication or supplements.
SET AND SETTING
This experiment would take place in the city of Antwerp, Belgium. Several long-term and close friends of mine live here as students and I am familiar with the dorms they occupy and the general environment of Antwerp. Besides this, a bunch of other less close friends and some people I never met before would also be present. This is what worried me most about the setting; people unfamiliar to me, not being aware of what I would be doing and probably thinking I’m crazy if they did. However, I trusted myself enough based on prior experience and general knowledge of these compounds and told myself to stay near my closer friends and try to avoid the rest. I had a rather restless night before, but apart from that I felt pretty good and was looking forward to seeing my friends again. The weather and the general atmosphere of the day seemed optimal as well. I had been planning this experiment for about a month and read quite extensively about other people’s experiences on online resources. I generally felt that I was well prepared.
(names are made up to protect the identity of those involved)
The consumption of one hit of LSD started at Malchior’s place. Close and long-term friends Tito, Elsas, Jeskir and Lulu were also present. Directly after ingesting the blotter paper we went outside and I smoked some cannabis with Elsas, which made me a little bit stoned already before the LSD would kick in. After about 40 minutes I wasn’t sure if I was starting to feel the LSD or if I was just really stoned from the cannabis I smoked. I employed the test of looking at the back of my hand, and noticed my veins and the skin over my knuckles slowly moving in a wave-like fashion and also being able to distinguish clear geometric patterns flowing underneath the skin. This is usually a good indication to me that the effects of LSD are becoming noticeable and that I am officially off baseline.
Now a bunch of people (mostly friends I know, but don’t have that good of a connection with and weren’t aware of me having taken LSD) started coming into Malchior’s room and joining our gathering. I mostly sat still and tried to act as normal as possible while the effects would slowly unfold themselves. The next thing I noticed was an amplification of sound; everyone appeared to be talking very loud and the room was just filled with noise of people conversing with one another. I remained pretty quiet and was just observing everyone in the room. Looking at people’s faces, I noticed how their facial expressions would stand out way more than usual and different aspects of their faces became apparent while they were talking. This change in the perception of people’s faces is something I have experienced on LSD before and I found it quite remarkable and amusing, not particularly frightening. At one moment I also had this vague feeling of my body splitting up, and I could distinguish two separate parts in my body with some kind of entity awakening in me. One part just being neutral and observing all the social interactions, the other part my normal self? This was very strange and of short duration. I decided no to focus on this phenomenon too much, since the room was starting to get very crowded. Generally I didn’t interact with too many people unless forced to and tried learning something from analyzing and observing the interactions between people. I don’t recall learning anything valuable.
The time is now approximately 19:10, 2 hours in, and we’re all planning to go to Nero’s apartment and have dinner with the whole group. At this point our group contains about 15 people. When everyone starts leaving, me, Malchior and Tito get the opportunity to try “poppers”; a small bottle filled with volatile alkyl nitrates that is sniffed and produces a very short high. The effects of the LSD were now clearly noticeable, but it was familiar to me and not too overwhelming or something I couldn’t handle. Tito and Malchior sniffed the bottle first and then passed it to me. Approximately 5 seconds after taking a hit, I experienced an explosion of colors and every person and object in my field of vision looked like it was radiating and charged with an immense amount of energy which quickly became overwhelmingly intense. I also sensed an increase of pressure around my eyes. This was quickly followed by an episode of extreme hilarity and uncontrollable laughter unlike anything I have experienced before. Me, Malchior and Tito were laughing so hard for no apparent reason at all and just looking at their faces made me laugh even harder, almost shedding some tears. This lasted about two to three minutes. I have rarely laughed this hard in my life and cherish this moment as one of the best of the evening. I was happy to have shared this moment with my good friends Malchior and Tito. We were now ready to start walking towards Nero’s apartment for dinner.
On our way to Nero’s apartment, I was walking with Malchior and Tito, talking about what had just happened and still laughing about it. Then Malchior started talking to me about his recent trip to New York and the abstract art he encountered and enjoyed in the Guggenheim Museum. We had a pleasant conversation about it during the walk and nothing noticeably drug-induced happened. Once we arrived at Nero’s place, Malchior started showing me the pictures of the art we were talking about, mainly by the artist Wassily Kandinsky. This is where the visual effects of the LSD started peaking. Looking at the pictures on his phone, I frequently noticed my vision changing focus like you would expect a camera lens doing. This would often change the nature of the painting I was looking at and offer me a new way of interpreting it. The colors were vibrant and the pictures all seemed to come alive and appeared rather dynamic. All the paintings intrigued me and I wondered about how this Kandinsky guy could produce such art and where it came from in his mind. In retrospect, I was grateful that Malchior was occupying me with these pictures, so I wouldn’t have to be interacting with all the people in the apartment.
Dinner was being served and everyone started taking place at the table. I was becoming worried and slightly paranoid about where I should sit, considering I would almost certainly be seated next to some people that I wasn’t all that comfortable with and it would force me to have normal conversations about superficial bullshit. Me and Malchior eventually decided to take place next to Tommy and Fiona (boyfriend and girlfriend), a decision I would slightly regret later. Everyone at our table was eating takeaway Chinese food which we all paid for together, except for Tommy and Fiona. Tommy and Fiona didn’t think Chinese food to be “festive” enough and so only the two of them were preparing teppanyaki. This was just (excuse my language) fucking weird and I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t just eat the Chinese food like the rest of us. Anyway, I avoided talking to them most of the time while being weirded out by their choice of food, which the LSD only amplified. Me and Malchior were mostly trying to occupy each other during dinner. Tito had a very comical appearance sitting in a low camping chair at the table and looked like a small child seated amongst the adults. Me and Malchior were laughing about this throughout dinner.
After dinner I decided to go and smoke a cigarette outside, Jeskir, Elsas and Malchior joined me. At this moment I was in a rather melancholic and indecisive mood, not knowing if I really wanted to go back to the crowded apartment and be with all these people that weren’t aware of my LSD experiment. Eventually me and Elsas decided to smoke a joint and go for a walk around the city. I was just having a pleasant conversation with him, not really paying attention to my current state of being. We eventually arrived at where we wanted to go, which was at a docking site for boats in the city. This is where I had some awe-inducing visuals as well. The city was all lit up and when I looked at the large body of water in front us, where all the boats were docked, I was amazed at how the water was flowing and reflecting the lights of the buildings. I could distinguish with exceptional accuracy the constantly fluctuating waves in the water and was struck by its pure beauty and fluid dynamics. My friend Elsas agreed that it looked very pretty and enjoyed it as well. Although I doubt he perceived it the same way I did, I was still happy to share the moment with him and just being there instead of the crowded apartment which made me feel uncomfortable. I think we were gone for about 45 minutes before we would decide to join the rest of the group again at the apartment.
We stayed at the apartment a bit longer and then all decided to go to Tito’s place and start partying, finally. We passed Malchior’s place first, where I would decide to ingest the 100 mg of MDMA. I went to the toilet, filled a quarter cup of water and dissolved the MDMA in the cup. While I was doing this, my friend Nero, who isn’t really a fan of doing “hard drugs”, walked into the toilet and saw me dissolving the powder in the cup and drinking it. As soon as Nero walked in, I was scared and had this feeling of being caught by your parents doing something you’re not allowed to. In retrospect Nero probably didn’t care because he was drunk. At this point it was 22:09, about 5 hours after ingesting the LSD.
We all walked to Tito’s place, which is about a 10 min walk. I felt the MDMA coming up pretty quickly during the walk. When we arrived at Tito’s place and turned on the music I was suddenly struck by a burst of unimaginable euphoria and ecstasy. I felt like dancing and partying all night and was extremely energized and excited for everything that was yet to come this night. I knew I was in for a ride. We danced for a bit in the basement, but not everyone was joining. Me, Elsas, Malchior and Lulu decided to go to Lulu’s dorm, since I hadn’t seen his new room yet and mentioned earlier in the evening we should visit it sometime during the night. At this moment I couldn’t give two shits about what I or anyone else wanted to do; waves of euphoria were engulfing me like never before and simply existing was the most satisfying thing one could do. I knew what MDMA felt like, but this was a whole other level. The synergistic effect between LSD and MDMA made normal MDMA look like a beer. I remember thinking why I would ever want to orgasm again if I can experience this state of being.
We arrived at Lulu’s room and it was the most beautiful room I had ever seen. Lulu had lots of plants which intrigued me and were very pretty to look at, the room had an overall pleasant aesthetic and was charmingly decorated. I felt tremendously happy for my friend Lulu living here and I expressed my gratitude to him for showing me this room multiple times. The state I was in was truly indescribable and I was overwhelmed by it. I was so appalled by how much I enjoyed merely existing in this space that I decided to smoke the big ass joint I had rolled earlier in the day. This was no doubt one of the best joints I had ever smoked, and I shared it with my good friend Elsas. I was extremely grateful for everything and everyone. Just the four of us in this room, a whole night ahead of us, me and Elsas smoking a joint, Lulu and Malchior coming up on MDMA as well and dancing. I could not have asked for anything more in that moment. But it wasn’t all “rose-scent and moonshine”, as they say in Dutch.
When we arrived back at Tito’s place, Tito himself and the girl he had been dating for the past two weeks, Yaninator, were standing in the doorway. I had never met Yaninator before and this would be the first time. I wanted to make a good impression but when we arrived I just couldn’t think of anything to say and I suddenly started feeling very self-aware and strange. I just walked past them without saying anything and went to the basement, reminding myself of how I wanted to dance earlier. Only to then find myself in the basement with shitty music and people that were obviously not on the same level as I was and I felt extremely uncomfortable and watched by everyone. At the same time I was stressing out over the encounter I just had with Tito and Yaninator; afraid that I had made a bad impression, that I looked like some junkie to Yaninator and she would think badly of Tito’s environment, which would then be my fault. This killed my entire mood and suddenly I wasn’t so sure any more about all the drugs I ingested. I was confronted with how quickly things can turn really dark on LSD.
Luckily my friend Elsas came to the rescue and I told him how I felt. He assured me not to worry about the encounter with Yaninator and Tito, and I felt comfortable again being in the vicinity of a close friend, God bless you Elsas. In retrospect, this was all due to the fact that there were people present who weren’t really into drugs beside alcohol and maybe cigarettes (I knew this beforehand). When I would find myself around these people, I couldn’t help but feel ashamed of myself for doing what I was doing and I would feel held back by them, not being able to express what I wanted to express. And with this much raw burning energy inside me I greatly felt the need to express myself. Maybe I also felt a bit sad for them, or guilty, for them not even being aware of what states of mind one can achieve using these compounds. This feeling of suddenly becoming aware of the people around me, thinking they were judging me for being some weird drug addict, often sent me in a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions throughout the rest of the night. Eventually I just learned how to deal with it somehow I guess.
The next thing I recall is me standing in the basement and everyone being ready for the countdown of the New Year. When the clock hit 00:00, everyone was so freaking hyped and started congratulating each other and wishing each other a happy new year. It felt like I was swimming in a sea of affection and I deeply enjoyed hugging everyone and telling my close friends why I love them, what I like about them, what makes them unique, and telling them there’s a another great year of friendship ahead of us.
We went back upstairs, outdoors, and this is where I was confronted with an extraordinary sighting. The whole street in front of Tito’s building was filled with cars stuck in an enormous traffic jam. People were honking like crazy, getting out of their cars, blasting fireworks on the street, wishing each other a happy new year... It felt like everyone in the city had just collectively decided to not give any fucks anymore about anything or anyone, and this shared celebratory state with my fellow human beings catapulted me in a dancing frenzy the likes of which I had never experienced before. I started dancing on the street with my friends, dancing on cars, honking people’s horns, talking to strangers… Never in my life have I experienced such liberation.
I started dancing on the street with my friends, dancing on cars, honking people’s horns, talking to strangers… Never in my life have I experienced such liberation.
I am generally a very shy person and always afraid to interact with other people, always worrying what they will think of me, always trying not to stand out and lay low in the background. This, to my mind, shows the true, raw power of these compounds. Never in my life would I have dared to expose myself this much to this many people, dancing like there was no tomorrow, people cheering… I was riding a wave of energy caused by the collective state of joy and celebration of mankind. I felt grateful for every living thing on this planet. All this because we made a single rotation around the Sun. What strange species we are.
Throughout the rest of the night I enjoyed just being out on the street, observing and taking in the scenery of the cars, the people, the joy… While doing this, I was struck by one of the most unlikely coincidences. I was smoking a cigarette and threw it on the ground, when my friend pointed out to me that the cigarette had fallen perfectly balanced on its butt. I could not fathom this. What are the odds of this ever happening? What are the odds of this happening on New Year’s Eve? What are the odds of this happening on New Year’s Eve while candy flipping? I could not help but interpret this as some kind of sign of a higher power, an omen of good luck…
During the comedown phase I was in a rather introspective and quiet mood, trying to process what I had just been through. I didn’t really feel like talking to anyone and just wanted to be on my own. The rest of the night was spent smoking joints and cigarettes with my friends until about 6:00. Sitting at Malchior’s place, quiet stoned, I noticed how I could actually see conversations taking place in the form of sound frequencies and amplitudes when I closed my eyes. This was quite amusing. When I went to sleep in Malchior’s bed, after smoking one last joint, some of our friends kept playing music and partying downstairs. I was laying in the bed and when I closed my eyes I could again see, visually, the sounds of the music, now being displayed to me via a show of color sequences. Lastly, I felt like my body was morphing and transforming into some sort of a cocoon/pupa in the bed and I could spend an eternity in this hibernating state. After some hours laying in the bed, enjoying the music and contemplating, I finally fell asleep.
I woke up the next day pretty early, only having slept for a couple hours. I had a light headache and had an overall sense of blurriness/worthlessness throughout the day, not really feeling like doing anything.
I think the most valuable thing I learned from this experience is when I was dancing on the street and briefly experiencing how it felt to not care what anyone thought of me. I was so moved by this after it happened that I made a mental note to myself that I should care less what people think of me in general as well. When one wants to achieve or do something (say dance), but always has the thought in the back of his mind how other people are perceiving him, and what they are thinking about him, one is not fully focused on the task at hand, and will ultimately fail at it or at least not give it his all. Even when I am doing things on my own, I often think about how I’m going to have to communicate it to other people so that I look good in their eyes. For example: I’m reading a book and I read something that strikes me, say some philosophical idea. Instantly I start imagining conversations and scenarios with other people how I’m explaining these ideas to them so that they will appreciate me and think I’m a ‘’cool” or ‘’intelligent” guy or something. Constantly pondering about how to prevent not being liked by my peers. This might come from an overall fear that people will not accept me for who I am or something. I’m finding it difficult to describe this. This is something very personal to me and I’ve thought about it quite a lot in the past, how I’m always worrying over how other people see me. Anyway, I felt so liberated in that moment that I also decided right after to write this report because it seemed so significant to me.
Looking back at the overall experience, I don’t think taking LSD in this sort of setting was a good idea and I probably wouldn’t do it again. The environment was way too “formal” and it felt awkward being the only one on LSD during a gathering of friends. Most of the people were not aware of my drug-induced state and I constantly felt like I should act “normal” in front of them. Culture is indeed always the third guest at the table. Although, I did have some moments I cherish during the LSD-phase, like sniffing poppers and going for a walk with my close friends. I would repeat this experiment in a more friendly, tranquil and natural environment, with only a couple of close friends. I would be way more comfortable and feel like the full potential of this combination would come to light then. Generally, the whole night was just a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings of extreme euphoria, alternated with dips of feeling awkward and isolated from the rest. Especially after ingesting the MDMA. Probably the consumption of cannabis facilitated and amplified these feelings of paranoia and feeling like a misfit, which wasn’t pleasant at all.
This is also the first time I’m writing a formal report after a psychedelic experience, and I feel like it’s something I should have started doing way earlier. I find it’s one of the best ways to integrate the experience in my life and I’m planning on keeping a diary of all my psychedelic experiments now. There truly is something magical about these compounds and I feel like devoting my entire life just trying to figure out what it all means. Lastly, I would like to mention that if anyone is thinking about trying this combination of drugs, one should think very carefully about it. The states of euphoria one can reach are simply unimaginable and will make one question if anything is even worth pursuing at all in ordinary life. The days after this experience, writing this report, are often filled with wanting and craving to be back in those moments of ecstasy, completely being in the moment and not having a single worry.
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