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Unpleasant First Hole
Citation:   Hans Meier. "Unpleasant First Hole: An Experience with Deschloroketamine (exp116070)". Feb 11, 2022.

T+ 0:00
20 mg insufflated Deschloroketamine (liquid)
  T+ 0:00   repeated smoked Cannabis  
  T+ 4:30 10 mg insufflated Deschloroketamine (liquid)
  T+ 5:00 10 mg insufflated Deschloroketamine (liquid)
  T+ 5:00 10 mg insufflated Deschloroketamine (liquid)
Deschlorketamine (nasal spray), Weed (inhaled)
Date - 6.10.2021
Male, 19, 75kg
Weed user on weekly basis
Previous experiences - 1P-LSD, 1cP-LSD, 2C-C, 2-FDCK, 3-MMC, N-Ethyl-hexedrone, N-Ethyl-pentedrone, Psylocibin mushrooms, Deschlorketamine

Had a few experiences with dissociatives, but only light doses, never experienced ĄK-Holeď before, but I was familiar with light mania, dissociation and other effects present on low doses.
I was familiar with light mania, dissociation and other effects present on low doses.

That day, I was home alone and throughout the day I wasnít really feeling any kinds of socialization. Only socialization Iíve started to crave was playing desk games while smoking weed so I went with DCK nasal spray and some weed in my pocket.

T + 0:00 20:00
I was sitting in a bar with my friends for quite some time, everyone was in good mood and so we decided to roll a joint and smoke it on a terrace. While friend was rolling, I decided that I should put that DCK nasal spray to use, so I ingested 20mg and right after that we went out to smoke the joint. I smoked just a little and since Iím smoking weed quite frequently I havenít really felt anything. My intention was to get my eyes a little closed so itís not obvious Iím high when there's people around.

T + 0:30
Started to feel the effects. Starting to talk a bit like robot, having body relaxed and just enjoying the time with my friends.

T + 1:00 21:00
We had to head out of the bar, because friends wanted some more weed and go to a cheaper pub. I was feeling great by that moment, Iíve started to be a bit dissociated, had a slight loss of motor control, spoke only like a robot, got a bit stimulated and had a feeling of light body.

T + 1:15 21:15
Got into another pub and got a bit more dissociated, but managed to start talking with an old friend of mine and had quite long and pleasant conversation. There havenít really changed anything on my high.

T + 1:45 21:45
Feeling the peak, mostly the psychedelic headspace, which meant for me that I got really talkative, but started talking bit off the table, but since everyone around was drinking alcohol, nobody really cared so I still was feeling good.

T + 3:00 23:00
Started sobering up, feeling less dissociated, finally talking like normal person, body lightness still present, mental high as well, but started feeling a bit sedated. And somehow Iíve decided to roll one joint for 3 people and smoked it, so I got sedated a bit more and the DCK effects kinda kicked in again, so in next hour I was dissociated again, robot-like talking present. Body high felt more like the one I know from smoking weed than the one I get from dissociatives, but still the body lightness was present.

T + 4:30 0:30
Started being really sedated and most of my friends left and I wasnít really feeling the ones I got left with, because they started snorting MDMA, so I went home. On my way home I decided that I want to try K-Hole and ingested nasally another 10 mg.

T + 4:50 0:50
Got home, feeling bit mania, canít decide whether Iíll be lying down, definitely feeling the last 10mg.

T + 5:00 1:00
Got everything ready, for hole. Turning on music to my earphones, lying down, putting blanket over my body and a pillow over my eyes. And deciding to nasally ingest 10mg more. After that, immediately going for my first Hole. Here I got really dissociated and my memory stopped working and I remember grabbing the spray again and ingesting another 10mg, but I cant really tell if I did it only once or if I did it more times. And since Iím writing retrospectively, not having any more sources than my mind, I canít really tell.

T + 5:20 1:20
Definitely holingÖ The music appreciation is present in enormous scale, canít really move, not event trying to talk or anything. While holing, Iíve been enjoying the music and internal visuals. It all felt like I was an architect creating something really colorful in space with black background. In the dark space I felt like Iím creating everything cognitively, that when I want something different, it gets different. Only thing I couldnít influence was the movement of the colors, that part took the music away from me. With a bit of time, I started feeling like my body is a part of the projection as well, I felt euphoric like waves going through my body
I started feeling like my body is a part of the projection as well, I felt euphoric like waves going through my body
and I still couldnít control it and started to feel like the body isnít mine, but I can feel it. Since a havenít woken up from the whole hole I donít know anything about time. So time goes on and my hole is getting deeper and more intense. Iíve started to feel like my body is a ball, like my heels are touching my head from the back. And while holing the questions like what or who am I started being present and I couldnít find anything about me. Iíve even forgotten my name, just couldnít find any name.

T + 7:00 3:00
After song called Outro by M83 from album Hurry up, weíre dreaming, I felt overwhelmed so I got up from the hole and I had to pee so I went to toilet. The moment I turn on light on toilet psychotic mania started. It was hard to walk, it was a quiet dark night and the light on our toilet is quite intense and as a bonus, on the toilet we have tiles with weird trippy patterns, but that altogether started being too much. So as soon as possible I got back to bed and started talking to dictaphone on my mobile. The recording pretty much says everything, I couldnít read time on display, the tape has 5 minutes, but at that time it felt like an hour-long monologue, the tape misses some words in sentences and some words I said two or three times because I couldnít tell at that time if I'm speaking out loud or if it's just in my head.

T + 7:10 3:10
About that time the mania became quite too much and for the next hour or so I got into a loop. I got up, used the toilet and got back to bed, lied down and tried to sleep. After few minutes, the same scenery, got up, used the toilet and tried to sleep again. That was my loop, of course the tiles in bathroom were still quite too much in the sharp light, I really didnít like it. As far as I remember, I did this loop 6 times. While looping the thoughts about what it really is started coming up in my mind. One of these thoughts was a question, if Iíll ever wake up from this. Or another was something like ĄAm I psychically ill and is this only part of my life, where I am consciousď. This was the experience where I understood how a person could hurt himself while being high. Overall the confusion I was experiencing wasnít really that bad when Iím looking at it retrospectively, but at that time I was really worried about my mental health.

T + 8:00 4:00
Successfully broke the loop by hitting the shower. Finally started some come down and managed to partially pick my mind up. But after the shower, I walked by a mirror and saw my face, but at that time I couldnít recognize it. For about 10 minutes I was looking at the mirror and been trying to remember the name or anything about that face, but I couldnít. After 10 minutes of staring, from some hidden place in my head came out that Iím high and this disillusion is normal so Iíve told myself to go get some sleep. Somehow it worked out, Iíve turned the lights off, lie in bed and in a few minutes fell asleep.

Woke up after 6 hours of sleep, without any signs of any substance. Just a little confused by what was happening at night. Had to check my face, took a shower and started writing some points for this report. Throughout the day I was just thinking about the whole experience, mostly about my internal visuals and about the mania and in the evening found myself in a social mood again, which wasnít present throughout the day.

Iíd say its a nice and clean substance, compared to 2-Fluordeschlorketamine itís way longer in duration. Itís the first 3 hours that were a bit stimulating, even though Iíve smoked weed and the second half was reminding me of the 2-FDCK. I havenít really had any nausea, Iíve been able to eat, physically I felt ok, nothing really disrupting. And since I havenít been on any dissociative dose that high, I cant really tell more. Maybe next time I wonít be pushing myself out of K-Hole as I did that night.

The hole
As I said, I felt a bit like an architect, consciously making some really colorful scene in black space. I am everything, but at the same time nothing/nobody. While I was Ąconsciously creatingď my body felt like itís just another part of scene and not me anymore, but I could feel it. I could feel how it was moving like if it was water and the music was some sort of wave making machine, but still it wasnít mine somehow. Even, what Iíd say, in the hole was representing the body looked and felt like water, very specific movement and feel that Iíd expect water could tell us if water could tell us what does it feel like to be water. By the time in hole, the thoughts started being deeper, visuals were stronger and harder to manage. When Iíd say Iíve lost conscious power over the visuals and they started forming themselves, my mind started to think. The last questions were ĄWho am I? What am I?ď. That was the point where Iíve wanted to get out and get some sleep. Throughout the hole I was melting, becoming the thing I saw, blanket, bed or even floor. I was melting, dilated, made a ball, even was nothing or just a bunch of colors in dark space. Iíd say I was everything and nothing at once.

Exp Year: 2021ExpID: 116070
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Feb 11, 2022Views: 1,177
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Deschloroketamine (708) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), General (1)

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