DOSE:

2-hydroxycocaine

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

This was ~5 minute, stable, highly interactive, open-eye entity hallucination that I narrated to my friend in "National Geographic style" detail. Physical contact was felt! Very strange that what was advertised as cocaine caused this, but I don't think many people make any kind of an attempt to hallucinate beings on cocaine, whereas I did, using past experience with Tulpas (check them out on Wikipedia) so take that as you will. This cocaine was tested with a fentanyl test strip and came up negative.

------
The main being I will focus on describing here was a spider that was exploring around me on my bed and at some points crawling onto my friend and onto me. It would change size and build slightly at times and ranged from roughly quarter-sized to rat-sized. It moved its legs in this very cute, scrambling, goofy, expressive way that looked distinctly cartoonlike and benign. Despite an overwhelming majority of positivity there were two distinct times at which the spider being developed a piercing mouthpart along with a mosquito-like body and kind of pumped the mouthpart in and out of my friend's back, then later through a seam of my pant leg (it put up a considerable, funny struggle to get through the seam).

I had the sense that this piercing was bad, and as an afterthought should have shooed them away gently when they attempted to insert, but it was acting so disarming before and after that I didn't act, only watched, letting them either inject something or suck something out, I'm not sure which.

I'll break down the experience into a few portions:

1. My technique for seeing it/quality of the visual: I first sensed the spider by defocusing from any physical thing in the room and staring into the open space in front of me and around the periphery of my vision. The visual first manifested as a sense of disembodied movement, and then as I tracked the movement, I detected a type of wavy air outline that looked somewhat like how you can see heat rising from a well-sunned road. It also reminded me of very thin ice. Very much see-through with no color, but with small ripples and distortions. The spider being was constantly moving and the movement made it much easier to see.

2. A physical sensation from entity contact (!!!): At one point the spider entity was crawling along my arm towards my hand. I raised my hand up slowly and pointed my index finger upward. The entity crawled up and perched on top of my finger and kind of bounced or stomped its legs. Honestly it was unclear exactly what it did. However, I felt a clear tingling and pressure on the tip of that finger, like weight. This was truly a breakthrough moment for me. I was overjoyed. Yet, during the phase when the mosquito-form spider was inserting its mouthpart into my friend and I, neither of us felt any sensations. I'm thankful for that, because it would have been extra disturbing.

3. The being transformed: When the spider had finished inserting its mouthpart into my friend's back, it continued to crawl around on her with, again, an exploring, curious attitude very clearly communicated by the leg movements. I then experimentally brought my index finger close to it, and it quickly became highly aware of me and very amusingly reached out with a few of its front legs and eagerly rocked back and forth, waving them excitedly and straining intently for my finger. It clearly wanted contact. I brought my finger closer, and it got more excited, but I didn't touch it. Then, after several more moments of leg waving, almost as if as a result of it "giving up" trying to reach me, it transformed into a small sphere made of the same immaterial wavy air I described previously which then expanded until it contacted my hand and began to balloon out around it. This moment was interesting because I would half expect the substance to be able to pass through my hand. Yet my hand left impressions in it. I removed my hand from the bubble's way and it continued to expand until it was about hula-hoop size, and then dissipated (or something, I've lost that moment unfortunately).

4. Perception of color: At one point towards the end of the hallucination, the spider began to quickly create webs. One was created connecting my outstretched arm to the nearby wall. As I stared at the web, I noticed a faint bluish color extending from the center of the web in a rough circle with edges that slowly fluctuated in different distances from the center. This fluctuating blue-ish blob had a very similar look to the lava lamp-like blue blobs I see during the hypnogogic, sleep-entering state behind my eyelids. An additional detail was that the spider was constructing the web, but at the same time part of the web, the circular part connecting each radial strand, began to construct itself with a single extending strand bouncing, very cartoonishly, in this "happy" way, from one radial strand to another.

5. An additional entity: Right before I decided to stop tracking the movements of these beings and move on with physical-world activities, as I was a little concerned that it would get too interesting and get in the way of my (albeit minimal) duties, I perceived another entity made of the same stuff as before that looked to be veiled and a little taller than a human that was standing near the edge of the bed. I wasn't sure whether it was friend or foe, so I asked it aloud, and it reached up an arm and doffed a bowler hat that appeared on its head. I had to wrap things up by then, and so I focused on my friend and when I looked back at where the entity was, it was gone.

6. How I was able to remember as much detail as I did: I may not have been able to recall as much or be as calm had my friend not been there to ground me. I got her OK to narrate the activities of the entities, so I was speaking aloud to her while they were doing their thing. This helped a lot, and I got the feeling that the better I was able to describe their activities, the slightly more visible they became. I had had some very open, heartfelt conversation with this friend beforehand, and she was familiar with tripping, so I felt at ease to openly describe the activities of the beings to her without being judged. She was also very tired, almost sleeping, at the time, which grounded my excitability at what was happening and gave me an important degree of composure. If I had been alone, some fear might have gotten a foothold.

7. Going forward: In the future, if this happens while I'm alone, I will use my PHONE to record my narration and ground my experience. (I'm kind of pissed that I didn't do this from the get-go, but I wasn't expecting to see anything, and I was worried that if I fiddled with my phone I'd extinguish the hallucination). If I could suggest anything as an aid to navigating entity hallucinations from this and past experiences, it would be to NARRATE aloud what is going on in a detailed way. Also, don't assume that what you're narrating about can't hear you. You may need to address a being directly at some points, or perhaps the whole way through. There were some points where I switched to speaking aloud to the humanlike entity and my friend thought I was addressing her. I think removing as much confusion as possible over what you're going to do and say is important to correct entity hallucination navigation. Thanks for reading! :)

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 116138
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 30
Published: Apr 28, 2022	Views: 554
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Cocaine (13) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)