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M30 Inside My Soul
Opioids (presumed Fentanyl)
by sastrenyc
Citation:   sastrenyc. "M30 Inside My Soul: An Experience with Opioids (presumed Fentanyl) (exp116308)". Erowid.org. May 26, 2022. erowid.org/exp/116308

 
DOSE:
  inhaled Opioids (daily)

BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb


Look. I'm not the first, nor the last that will come across these light blue pills. Yet I will be the first to advocate the severity of using this drug consistently. I am someone who was financially stable enough to continue purchasing and consuming these m30's as a daily habit. My ROA was insufflation, meaning my highs came quick and intense but duration of action is shorter. Being that every illicit pill is NOT created equal, I always started off with a small piece which eventually turned into 1/4 recklessly enough.

I honestly didn't see the problem until I tried to get off. I would crush some of the pill up and take lines, but after the course of a quick month or 2, they turned into thicker lines. I was enjoying myself, nothing more to it. However, during that same time my personality and mannerisms started to change. Since my body was a on a constant cycle of highs and ever increasing lows, I started to adapt to it as well. I was quieter, more serious all the time and for lack of a better term, grayed out. With all that being said I was still myself, but there's just something these drugs do to me that sap me mentally, physically and then spiritually. I once heard how opiates disconnected a user from what he called "The Source" and I can attest that this is completely true.

I am currently still within the mix of it all, but the battle has begun to rid my life of this parasite disguised as euphoria. Its hard these days to really push forward the importance and true dangers of this drug when my music, social circle and influences all downplay the seriousness of real drug addiction. Addiction is something that is outside your control, since we but mortal, flawed beings. What is in your control, however, is the discipline to change your life at any time you please. Although this can feel as if your pushing against your body's own momentum and habits, you will always come out on top in the end.

You are NEVER alone, we thankfully live in a world where help is but a phone call away. For me, the first 24 hours of withdrawal were the absolute worst, but having someone to talk to can sometimes go a long way. Read this as a piece of insight, but mainly a warning. When you fuck with these m30's, your playing with fire.

Exp Year: 2022ExpID: 116308
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 26 
Published: May 26, 2022Views: 1,221
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Opioids (407), Pharms - Fentanyl (223) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), What Was in That? (26), Unknown Context (20)

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