DOSE:		smoked	Cannabis
	1 bump	insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)
	20 mg	oral	Pharms - Escitalopram

BODY WEIGHT:

105 lb

Me and a few friends ended up sitting alone in a quiet field listening to ska and calypso. I was in an extremely good mood that night - I have bipolar disorder and while I often forget to take my meds, this was after a period of about a week without forgetting, and I adore spending time with my buddies (as well as ska) so this was a particularly good night. I smoke a lot of weed but my tolerance for it is pretty poor, so after a few hits I was giggly as hell, uncontrollably horny, and barely able to string a sentence together.

One of my friends brought out a little baggie of k and offered me some. I'd never tried it before, but I've been around others who have and they all seemed pretty normal while under its influence, so I figured it would be totally safe to take in the middle of a field surrounded by a river (I'll get back onto this later, but I wasn't totally correct there!) and I got a little on a key and snorted it. It burned going up, but it's a deeply pleasant burn - perhaps I'm just a druggie, but it's sorta like the pain you get when you piss after holding it for a really long time, the complete opposite of distressing. It began to kick in after quite a while, maybe half an hour to 45 minutes. Early that week I'd watched videodrome and my visuals, for the most part, were that I was in videodrome, except not at all SPOOKY and I was having the time of my life. My perspective kept changing and I had a totally dissociative experience wherein I knew who I was, but I could see myself and my friends from a variety of different angles. As far as I'm aware I was able to solidly hold a conversation too, but I can barely remember it.

The only bad part of my experience began when I tried to move. None of my friends who were walking back home with me took any of the ket, so they were totally fine walking back, but for me walking was simultaneously in slow motion and all too fast, and the soft ground of the field made it so very difficult to stay upright. It felt like time was passing at an increasingly slow rate and my visuals got a little scarier - the ground was wavy and I kept getting these jumpscares, for want of a better word, of my friends' faces coming at me screaming. I wasn't scared at all at the time, just worried that I wouldn't make it home. Nature is best experienced from a higher plane, but on flat ground and not super far from home, or around water, because I really put myself at risk and I'm not proud of myself for that.

My thoughts the entire time were philosophical as anything. I live near a swan who's just had cygnets and I couldn't stop thinking about how wild it is that both a swan and a woman can be mothers in the same way. All of my hangups about ruining my reputation and embarrassing myself disappeared for a time. The world is this huge thing, filled with small things like myself; god created them all to satisfy the same urge to create. Why shouldn't I behave as I want to? I'm just one of god's many creatures, driven by an urge not entirely unlike his, and if a swan can fuck in a river and lay eggs in a nest made in part out of a shredded tshirt then I should be able to do as I please.

Being touched that night felt like being touched as never before. It was intense and I was powerless. I hope this part scares people away from ketamine; I would love to feel like that all the time.

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 116459
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Dec 21, 2022	Views: 239
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Cannabis (1), Ketamine (31) : Nature / Outdoors (23), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)