DOSE:	1 hit	smoked	DMT
		smoked	Cannabis

I will try to paint the full picture for you so that you can get the full experience of this trip report. Firstly let me clarify. I did not seek out DMT. It found me... about 11 years ago. All the accidents in the universe brought me to a place and time that did not match up with my current state of affairs.

Anyway. So this guy stands up in this class I shouldn't be in, and starts talking about this substance called DMT to everyone. He had such excitement and zeal for the subject. WTF is he talking about and how come I haven't heard of this before, I thought. I was always a curious child and had navigated my way through the children's book all way to the young adult fiction novels and had known about LSD, Ketamine, mushrooms, opium and various other mind altering substances by the time I was 12 (and endeavored to try them out myself eventually). A substance more powerful than LSD? I thought LSD was the corona of psychedelics. The guy in class concluded his speech and he had me hooked. After class I had to ask him. "Have you tried DMT before?," I questioned. "No, I haven't", he shook his head. "But I'd like to try", he exclaimed. Well me too after hearing you talk about it.

I went home quickly, excited to tell my boyfriend about what I had just learned. Let's call my boyfriend, Angel. He liked to spend his days shirtless and often times when I was tripping I would envision him as a glowing guardian angel with massively gorgeous and powerful wings. He always kept me safe. He was (and still is) closer to me than any other human. After telling Angel all about the guy in class and this new (to me) powerful psychedelic, my next question was, "how can I find this stuff?". To my utter surprise and deep shock, Angel replied, "I think I have some". Now, this wasn't a new relationship... Angel and I had been best friends for a couple of years before we started dating. How could he keep this secret from me? He would have been the first person I told about this forbidden fruit, I thought... and I laughed at the juxtaposition. I was too excited that this all manifested so quickly anyway, so I didn't have the patience to find out why Angel had DMT and never told me.

The next day, I merrily went to class to share the fucking ridiculous news with the guy. He was ecstatic and couldn't believe that we were about to try DMT. "How does today sound?", I said. "Sounds like a plan", he smiled. And just like that we made a deal to take the adventure of a life time. But first we had to take the redline to Angel's place. Angel decided he wanted to partake in the sacrament as well. The three of us got comfortable on the couch. We didn't have the tools to smoke the black chopped substance. It looked like pencil lead and was very fine. We had a bong and some weed so we ground the flower and laid it as a bed for the DMT. It was probably a gram of finely ground DMT and a gram of marijuana packed neatly in a decently sized bowl. Angel instructed us to take a hit and hold it in as long as we could, even if we had the urge to cough. Obediently, we did as we were told.

I held it in. It burned, tasted more like smoke than herb. It tasted dark like charcoal but a bit more metal-y. I was running out of breath, but I could see Angel's finger pointing, indicating he wanted me to hold on for longer. And so I did. Suddenly everything started to bend and wave. I let out a slow and long exhale. As I exhaled I started to see space forming around me. My body was dead weight. Was this a fourth dimension? Space around me seemed to proliferate into infinite geometric, intentional, lines that curved and angled in the spaces around me. It was like architecture blueprints that filled the empty air. "Mother of God," I whispered in my head. Suddenly, to my right, I saw a line of small faces atop small shoulders and small bodies. Some were smiling, some were absolutely delighted to see me and feelings of familiarity and "finally, Dorothy found her way home feelings" rushed over me. Some of the faces were quite appalled and disgusted. Some were shaking their head in admonishment. Some were reluctant to accept the present reality of me being there. I was so enthralled in the small people's reactions and expressions that I failed to look down the entire precession of small people. Once I realized this, as quickly as the small peoples appeared, they slowly dissipated. I clamored to bring back the visuals but I was paralyzed and the images faded like a waking dream. The more I tried to hold on, the more rapidly the images faded.

Slowly, I started to feel my body again. It was as if the weight of space itself had held me down and slowly started to lift itself. Like a recently landed astronaut, I mustered myself to a standing position with visible burden of gravity weighing me down. "Did you see that!", I exclaimed to the guy and Angel. "I-I", I stammered. I searched their awestruck faces. We were speechless for a moment, digesting the cosmic voyage we had just encountered. I looked at the clock. Only 15 minutes had passed. For around 30 minutes after that, the light visuals and wavy feelings followed, reminiscent of an enjoyable mushroom trip. My mind rushed. I couldn't help but to replay the encounter over and over again. Why did the little people have such varied reactions. Where did I go? Was the procession of little peoples for me? Were they waiting for me? Why was I starting to forget everything...all the wondrous details. And why did everything feel like a distant dream the more time elapsed.

The next day I woke up with an excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. My gut told me this was unrelated to the DMT but my mind couldn't help but wonder. The pain was so severe that I made Angel take me to the hospital because I thought my appendix had burst. The nurses told me I was suffering from a miscarriage. They gave me medicine to ease the pain. I cried a primal woman's cry that day. The pain, the sorrow, it was all too much. I realized my period was late and I had to have been pregnant for at least a few weeks. How could I not notice. Was it a coincidence that I miscarried the day after one of the biggest adventures of my life? Was it a journey too much for my body to take? Or was I a vessel? What if my baby was stolen from me? Or did I unknowingly give up that child the fateful day I embarked on that journey. Were the little people there to welcome a new child unto their world?

The very words I uttered on that faithful day, "Mother of God," continued to resonate with me. Had I unknowingly birthed a God in an alternate reality? I'll never know. I do still think of that unborn child. My wish for that child is that they were born unto another reality and experienced all its glory. While we may never meet, I hope they know that I am beyond proud to have been part of your world if only for moment and that they live on in my world forever. My love for you is eternal and infinite.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 116864
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Dec 18, 2022	Views: 843
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DMT (18) : What Was in That? (26), Pregnancy / Baby (33), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)