DOSE:

150 ug

LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

An experiment done with psychedelic substances as a tool for spiritual practices, some of which I began doing for the last 4 years of my life. I have kept some of them during all phases of my life since, these could be summarized very well in the 8 branches of raja yoga and vedic meditation. This LSD trip is just an experiment of set, setting and above all holding intention, "Samyama".

I have had quite a number of acid trips this year and a small number of shroom ones too, but none were a significant as this one. For this I had cut up on weed for many weeks, I had been very proactive in mental gymnastics too, meditation and inquiry. This trip was done one week after the passing of my father, on a stormy night.

I was curious above all of every change that happens to the body and mind beginning with the come up, I had no expectations, a sharp mind set and a profound intent on discovering my inner and natural take on all of my life's ups and downs. I longed to discover my inner intuition, my voice.

During the come up I lay in my bed, no music, just breathing and settling into myself. It began with what seemed to be random thoughts, images and sensations, that I was intent to let pass. The wind became a theme, to let all pass like the wind, to feel the flow of energy.

I settled more and more into a safe and silent space inside of my mind, I was proactively seeking bad sensations so I could let the wind pass through the dark and stale aspects of my being, I felt like healing and receiving, I was intent on staying open. Soon I began to feel it getting deeper, I was being sent to deeper aspects, many times having to remember where I was at, settling again and again in my safe space, it was a moment of cultivation, cultivating my trust in myself, in the universe. Wherever I found myself, through good or bad, I was okay with it.

The come up seemed eternal, but ended when I lost conscious thought and remained in a still floating above my sensations, like the wind passing through, I got to add that physical and mental sensations where tied to one another, when I felt mental friction I tensed up, the energy flowed harder, when I let go, I felt pleasure coursing through my body. The rocket launched into space when I felt a sharp current going up my spine, mentally I felt like flying into the cosmos. When I realized I lost connection with the physical, with my silent space full of peace, I panicked a little, but soon tried harder to maintain my space, to hold it like Atlas holds the world.

Throughout all of this, I have to remark the importance of going deep, and holding space. It is like pulling an arrow with strength and keeping it tense. Pulling more and more and charging it with intent, with all your mind and soul. Every phase was plagued by thoughts that attracted my attention like mosquitoes are attracted to light, there appeared many images, of people, of situations, all tied to myself in one way or another. There were sources of anxiety, of confusion, there were hints of my progress inside each of them, trying to heal, or to be free, or to feel love, to fly above all of it allowed me to regain my power from them all. To be whole.

It is like enhanced meditation, a satisfying game that pays all effort and devotion on the spot, I began to shift from emanating the intent, to attracting it, by just being in my inner space. When I was launched into the peak, I let go of the arrow peacefully.

I felt bigger and bigger waves throughout my subconscious mind, each second seemed to show one perspective, it was like an earthquake. I stood up, and felt I was up there in the peak, but consciously quite awake, I felt like sleeping, or fainting, definitely losing grip with reality.

I laid again on my bed, I put the album In Search Of the Lost Cord by The Moody Blues and soon it all came like the Niagara Falls of emotion and energy.

I began to realize LSD has no content by itself, like psilocybin has, it works by relationship, one idea, one feeling, one image inside your mind is like a mirror for yourself, it shows you yourself, each new sensation relates with the one from before, and so creates an array of awe inspiring mental landscapes. I felt the good of myself in each visual that I saw, it was incredible. I began to pick up certain feelings, of anxiousness. When I felt powerful I felt sexual energy, I felt hot, when I was anxious I felt like being cut in two, like being just one half of me. It spiralled into a vision of a dual phoenix flying through the universe. Then I knew it, I knew of flight.

All the trip was colored by flying, as if I had found my spirit animal, I felt like a Bald Eagle. Spiritually free, flying like my breath above all that happens down on the earth, down in the mind of a man. I felt whole, powerful, anxious free, ready to take on the world. Me listening to music felt like an Eagle gliding on the wind, all that was felt could be put in the metaphor of flying, of letting go like a bird does when it flies on the skies, being one with the wind.

It followed some hours of ecstasy, of bliss and happiness. It was extraordinary, all the intent I channeled throughout the past couple of months into my growth were shown, I was paid back in full for all my effort to understand the world, I felt a spiritual emptiness be filled by an inner and more ambiguous identity, that of a bird that conquers the skies and flies above all else. I now sit in my self proud of my take on the world, compassionate towards myself, with no doubt. I have taken my power back, that I gave to the world all this time.

Fly on people, with the wind on your back keep on riding on.

I also have to add, psychedelic substances are not spiritual per se, it is man alone that is spiritual. He has the power and the understanding to take the good or the bad from everything, and as he is, so are his experiences in life. Thank you.

[Reported Dose: ''approx 150ug'']

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 116982
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Feb 17, 2023	Views: 258
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