DOSE:

450 mg

sublingual

Ketamine

The Tubes of the Universe

Preface - this experience occurred under the structure of a remote Ketamine assisted psychotherapy session. I myself am a KAP therapist, but this time was the patient , and a therapist friend was preceding over the ceremony. Herein lies some of the experience and what I felt to be most transformative:

I found myself in an indescribable location, an endless corridor, expanding into every possible corner of the universe, comprised completely of tubes. I was looking down from inside of these tubes, or at them, but could see that they extended in all directions into infinity. They processing, passing light down them. Moving energy from one tube to another, from one area of one tube to another. This structure was shown to me to be a fundamental construct of reality. That these tubes moving energy comprise everything. That they are at the heart of all experiences as they are the actual movers of energetic potential across space and time. Do they exist physically? Quite possible, and that would make sense, as they would be required to be ‘plugged into’ the world as we know it to move energy, to create things.

The tubes, comprising everything and extending into every direction, were squishy and friendly. They were happy to see me. I had forgotten they are there. They didn’t mind. They were just happy to see me. It was a place I had been before. It felt like home. It probably was in some way, and probably is in some way for everyone.

The experience of being with the tubes was pleasant, it was heartwarming. It provided me with a sense that I need to return to heart centered living (as Stephanie pointed out), and to live out of a desire to be happy.

The tubes were incredible, these basic structures of reality are always present, even as I write they are emitting and transmuting energy into new and different forms, I am just not able to be aware of them at this level of consciousness. Strange how quickly you can return from absurd states to normal waking ones. Although, truthfully I only feel normal now. There is no normal. There is nothing but tubes.

I think a big part of my healing is reliant on remembering to experience life, deeply and fully. That there is more outside of my chair and office and ambitions. Those are important. But need to be compartmentalized and provided space from fun. We need to return to having and being fun again. IT is simple. Just choose to engage, moment to moment, with the underlying construct of reality and change it into whatever tubes you’d like. Being capable of perceiving the tubes means that I have some measure of interacting with them. Just as all of my perceptions can be interacted with and changed. There lays not a single human emotion or thought that is not impactable. Our mental states are but tubes transmitting energy from one situation to the next. Perhaps what I really saw was my neurons, my dendrites firing, in sequences of numbers that are not perceptible to me in any form. Perhaps I just took 450mg of ketamine lol.

Another major part of my journey include an experience of perfection. Not in the normal construct of the word, but in the sense of allowing for imperfections. Meaning that the whole of existence moves in perfect synchronization. That any experiences that could be intellectually labeled as ‘bad’ are still perfectly synergistic with the universe’s unfolding. I almost wrote the word ‘plan’, because I used to view it as if the universe had a plan, but now I think it can be seen more of an unfolding, that wherever it develops next into is perfectly fine. So that, on a human level, I can experience a variety of things that would instigate an emotional reaction, but that a human emotional reaction is just that. It is not a representation of the entirety of the universe, human emotions are small aspect of the unfolding of the universe. That our ‘reactions’ are a perfectly flawed phenomenon in the universe. They help to push forward the wheels of samsara, the ultimate and everlasting dance of life as viewed from a human perspective. But , without human life to perceive it, the universe would still continue its dance into eternity. We must submit to the imperfect perfection of the universe and allow our emotions and reactions to be as they are, not be swayed to extremes, and continue forwards down the tubes,

The energy stays moving, from one tube to another, so to stop the flow of energy and to focus only on one experience within the tubes for longer than that experience is to not participate in the dance. We must be willing to allow experiences to float on down the tubes to avoid getting stuck on one experience. Trauma is an easy way to be entrapped in this way. It is a life threatening moment, drawn out across all others, unnecessarily. Even if it goes terribly, and someone dies, or that person get irrevocably damaged, the dance of the universe moves forward, it is only the emotions of humans that gets stuck in that moment. It is of no fault or guilt of the human, it is a natural response to a challenge such as that. But the universe does not account for the emotions of humans in its unfolding. It will unfold in whatever way it sees fit, we must simply adapt and agree, or be stuck in our emotional reaction to an indifferent dance of tubes.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117013
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: Feb 6, 2023	Views: 359
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