DOSE:

repeated

oral

MDMA

(powder / crystals)

The first time I took molly nothing happened to me. I just took one point with my boyfriend, and it worked for him, he was rolling hard. Me, however, I didn’t feel anything. I even fell asleep early that night. I still don’t know why.

So about 6 months later, we decided to try again. I started off with 1 point, and I actually felt it this time. The euphoria was indescribable, everything felt good. Everything. After about three hours, I felt it wearing off, so I decided to take another point.

But it didn’t feel good anymore, I started feeling sad. Really sad, really lonely. All that euphoria melted away and I began to feel paranoid. My brain had used up all the serotonin it could and I couldn’t handle the comedown. So, I decided to take another point. And then another thirty minutes later. And then again, and again, until all our supply was gone. I must have taken five or six points in total.

At this point it did not feel good for me anymore, and I had started hallucinating. My boyfriend had taken around 4 points and he was also hallucinating, and while he still felt good from the molly, it was freaking him out a bit. I struggled to keep it together for his sake, just to stay calm so he wouldn’t be afraid. But inside I was so deeply depressed, a depression I had never felt before, and I’m bipolar so that’s saying a lot because I’ve experienced clinical depression off and on my whole life.

I will say, the hallucinations off MDMA are not anything like mushrooms or LSD. The walls formed in geometrical shapes, kind of like a petri dish of circular bacteria, but it was organized and symmetrical. My boyfriend thought a house plant looked like a rooster, and we both began actually seeing it as a rooster, like spreading its wings and moving its beak and everything. It was all so geometrical and realistic, unlike my experiences with psilocybin which have been more organic and conceptual.

We eventually were able to sleep early that morning around 5AM, and slept for about 4 hours. The next day we just laid around and tried to recuperate. But I found that I became extremely paranoid. I was seeing objects move and bend, bugs, shadow figures, and just extreme anxiety. I continued to have sleepless nights with horrible insomnia, and had constant suicidal ideation. It continued like this for over a month.

My boyfriend ended up taking me to the ER because he feared these were warning signs of psychosis, and they prescribed me antipsychotic medication. That helped. I believe if I wasn’t given those meds I would have developed full on psychosis and ended my life. So long story short, don’t take 5 points of molly at once.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117160
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Oct 12, 2024	Views: 16
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MDMA (3) : Depression (15), Hangover / Days After (46), Post Trip Problems (8), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)