DOSE: T+ 0:00			5-MAPB
T+ 12:00	4 hits	vaporized	DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

78 kg

This report is being written 15 days after the facts.

Introduction:

I had dozens of DMT journeys of all intensities. Last one was so qualitatively different, emotionally powerful and long lasting that I want to share as much as I can with the world.

Previous Experience:

For the past decade I’ve been exploring the world of psychedelics in their different forms and many settings, mostly in nature. I’ve always been fascinated by the shift in perception, thoughts, emotions that those materials can bring, be it very subtle of completely overpowering. In the last few years, I had many journeys with DMT outdoor, often preceded by the ingestion of a MAOI (harmine/harmaline extract) to lengthen the experience. I stopped using a pipe in favor of an electric vape, my juice mix is c.a. 0.5g of DMT and 1.5 ml of plain 50/50 VG-PG, about 4 long tokes are required for a breakthrough.

That special day:

The night before I went with my friends and my loved out in the forest to have a party. We went to the usual spot, little lake surrounded by trees and away from the city which already framed many magical moments. We have music, lights, fire, food, and good laughter. I decide to spice the feelings by taking a light dose of 5-MAPB. It brings a light euphoria and a general warmness that carries on in the next day afterglow.

In the morning we woke up from our tents and had breakfast together. All my friends then went to their homes leaving me and my love alone to enjoy the warm summer day listening to the trees shaking. The wind had picked up with surprisingly strong gusts and small puffed clouds quickly raced the sky obscuring the sun for short moments. We sat in silence on the grassy shore to contemplate. I had brought my DMT vape and I thought it would be a good moment to have it. I still felt some sensations from the substances the night before so I didn’t risk taking the MAOI and instead decided to inhale the vapor by itself.

Me and my love sat crossed legged on a blanket, after a couple of minutes of silent meditation I started breathing and holding the vapor about 20s without interruptions, leaving the vape in between us for her to have a symbolic little toke if she desired.
After the third toke I felt the effects coming fairly strongly and, in an already very altered space, I took a fourth one.

Usually such amount would be sufficient to bring me far away from my regular plane of reality, this time something very different happened. If you surf or you like to swim in the sea when it’s rough you must have experienced being lifted by a wave just before it breaks and propelled forward by the force of the water. This is how I felt at that moment. A wave grew bigger and bigger behind me, a wave made by the collective shout of all beings ever existed, the voice of the stones, the grass, the birds the clouds shouting a wordless “WE ARE!”.

I felt the timeless presence of countless lives lifting me up and throwing me into the richness of this world. I never left the lake, I was always conscious of where I was and who I was, but I felt like I was shown this whole planet inside out. My surrounding where changing at impossible speed, while always remaining somewhat familiar, a beautiful, energetic, otherworldly and ecstatic sound was pulsating fast in my head (in the style of “Olympians – Fuck Buttons” but times 1000) giving a rhythm to the transformation of the trees in rivers of blazing gems, the gusts of wind became so powerful the wild flowers in the grass were smudged into purple ribbons. On the opposite shore a pair of lovingly benign eyes appeared at times telling me that this was it, a taste of the infinite, the ultimate beauty.

I felt pure joy, pure joy of being, I felt overwhelmed by the gratitude of existing, adding my internal shout to the collective “YES! YES! YES!”, I understood that the ultimate miracle lies in the fact that there is something to be experienced at all, whatever that is. The unlikeliness and utter beauty of such quirk of the universe made me laugh and cry and humbled me deeply, nothing was really important or worth suffer for, everything secondary to the fact of existing in the first place, the whole of “Gaia” was just ‘happy to be here’ and so I was.

Slowly things started to slow down, the trees regaining their shape and the flowers returning to their stems. In all other DMT experiences I would at that point quickly return to sobriety and the memories melting away, but this time was unique. I was unable to move or form a coherent word for a long time, only looking for the eyes of my love for comfort. I never felt like this before, surely not in my adult life. It felt like being a kid who was given a too big of a gift, tears of joy rolled on my cheeks but I was somehow “sad” at the same time: “how could I deserve all of this, how did this just happen now to me, the most beautiful moment of my life just here and now, why! how?!” .

It took maybe an hour before I could talk again, I was afraid of breaking that magical spell, I could feel my heart beating in a different way, fresh. When I could speak to my love again we talked about our thought of having a child, I understood how I had found excuses to postpone the moment and decided that here and now we would start making love to plant such beautiful intention. If we’ll have the blessing of giving birth to a new beacon of consciousness in this universe, that won’t be perhaps the day of its physical conception, but it is surely the moment it was born in our hearts.

Afterglow:

It's now been 6 weeks after that day, last 3 of which were very challenging because of my love’s struggle with some shade of bipolar disorder. The experience undoubtedly helped me to look past the troubles of the single days, to keep me in one peace when I would have curled into a corner and cried. Every time I go back to those moments I smile as I do at my dearest childhood memories. Every time I see or hear the wind shaking the trees it’s like capturing few verses of a loving poem constantly being whispered in nature’s secret language.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117527
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 31
Published: Sep 18, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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