DOSE: T+ 0:00	175 ug		LSD
T+ 2:00	6-7 hits	inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)
T+ 7:00	15 mg	oral	4-AcO-DMT	(capsule)
T+ 7:00	15 mg	oral	5-MeO-DiPT	(capsule)
T+ 0:00			MDMA
T+ 0:00	150 mg	oral	Pharms - Bupropion	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

One of the most difficult trips I've ever had. I won't say it was bad because I try not to see trips that way, but it was occasionally very dark.

I'm an experienced substance user and work in the field of harm reduction. I'm generally careful and have guidelines that I follow but I definitely fucked up pretty grandly here.

Setting was at a mid size multi day music festival. I was well rested and had remained relatively sober for the duration of the festival up until this day.

I took approximately 175ug of LSD around 3:30pm. This was quite a manageable dose for me and was fairly enjoyable. Typical acid feeling. I layed in the river and cooled down from the heat and delighted in the warmth of outside. Eventually I ran into a friend who offered me some whippits, which I hadn't done in years. I took probably 6 or 7 small hauls off of his rig over an hour about 2 hours after dosing. It was unique to me; I can't explain the feeling other than simply "good", albeit also "dumb".

Earlier in the day I had acquired some substances from an unknown source. Skeptical, I acquired one 15 mg capsule of 4-aco-dmt and one 15 mg capsule of 5-meo-dipt. I brought them to the drug checking tent and confirmed (via FT-IR spectrometer) that I had surprisingly acquired what I wanted; I went back with a buddy and acquired another capsule of 4-aco-dmt (or so I thought) while my friend got some foxy.

I am quite familiar with 4-aco-dmt, and it is one of my favorite substances when combined with LSD and mushrooms. This was my plan for the evening. I had never taken 5-meo-dipt (foxy) before but had been interested in it for years and wanted to bring some home with me.

I meandered around with my friend for a few hours and eventually went back to my camp to eat an inoffensive supper and change into warmer clothes. The festival was quite busy and I was unable to locate my friends when I went back to the stages. Around 10:30pm I decided the time was now and decided to ingest both doses of the 4-aco-dmt, which historically has taken at least 45 minutes to kick in.

Here is where I originally thought I fucked up. I was in the rave forest and everything was lit in rainbow colors in the dark. I could not see the minuscule color differences in the capsules and had not thought to compare them earlier after the 2nd pickup. I had both my supposed 4-aco-dmt on one side of the bag and foxy on the other. I was not planning on ingesting the foxy that weekend because it was a new substance and I wanted to try it at home on my own first before experimenting with it. I took what I thought were both 4-aco-dmt capsules.

I had not. Around 20 minutes later in the middle of a set, I noticed that I felt like my legs were being blown on by a cold breeze (like through an AC unit or through a grate). I stepped into another spot and the sensation diminished somewhat. My arms felt heavy and like they were moving on their own... my mind became heavy and not totally within my control. At that point I realized that the sensations were the come up of (what I thought was) the 4-aco-dmt, more quickly than I anticipated experiencing them. The visual and sound distortions came on *way* harder than I had ever experienced before. Everything was neon lit like a video game with weird depth. I walked around but felt restless and like my head was floating away, very out of body like. I quickly realized I was not in control, and did not want to run into anyone I knew in this state. I took myself to the Sanctuary and communicated to the harm reduction support worker that my drugs were hitting a little harder than I expected and I’d like to lie down.

She took me to an air mattress in the back of the sanctuary and brought me some water. I laid there in immense discomfort and confusion, trying my best to breathe and to recognize that the discomfort was temporary. There was a man who was dysregulated and aggressive a few beds away from me and it was hard to not let his experience influence mine. I started feeling the weirdest sensations in my body. I felt like my internal self was bubbling to the outside of me in a very distinctively sexually pleasurable way, centered in my upper torso, lungs, and arms. My perception of visual and auditory stimuli was both sharp and liquid. I could feel my bra and clothing pinching my body/tendons/nerves in an uncomfortable way, and could feel my anxiety creep and my blood pressure rise. I was so confused. I wondered if I had somehow been given more than 30mg and had taken a stupid amount of 4-aco-dmt, because this was not even close to being on the same scale of every other time I had taken this dose.

I could no longer understand the background speech; everything everyone said was being perceived by my brain as being spoken backwards and incredibly distorted. My visual field was warped and like 9-dimensional, and everyone had bug eyes and stretched heads. I closed my eyes and was not in my body, but instead experiencing the most intense (non-dissociative) hallucinations I’ve ever had. I felt like I was going to explode. The aggressive man to my left tried to talk to me so I just covered my face with a blanket because I couldn’t speak. The oddest thing was that even in this chaotic and far from sexy environment, my body (and my emotional mind) were increasingly experiencing immense sexual pleasure and sensation. Every nerve in my body felt electric and dripping, like the intensity dial had been broken off and pushed further than what it’s max capacity should be. I had an epiphany moment. Somehow, I had gotten my drugs mixed up. I had taken 15mg of 4-aco-dmt, and 15mg of 5-meo-dipt (in combination with the LSD/nitrous from earlier). It all made sense now! It was such a relief but also a very humbling and frustrating moment because I hate making mistakes, and I knew I had absolutely put myself out of commission for the plans I had for the rest of the night. The worker came back and I explained what had happened and she affirmed my feelings of relief that at least now I knew what was going on.

I laid there for perhaps 20 minutes before I realized I was also experiencing moderate digestive distress. I knew that this could be a common side effect of foxy for some people and I tried to summon the means to become more sober so I could leave and go find a porta potty. I could not. I asked one of the workers for help and they told me they had a sanctuary porta potty out back. I stumbled to it, relieved. Unfortunately there was someone already in it. I was extremely anxious about navigating the crowd and the lines for the porta potties in the main area and fretted about this for a few minutes before I very shamefully and directly approached the first harm reduction worker to explain myself and asked if she could accompany me to the line. She very graciously agreed.

She grabbed my arm and held onto it in the most comforting way as we left the sanctuary and walked the short distance to the porta potties. There was a significant crowd and line up. I closed my eyes so I didn’t see it and felt immense gratitude to the worker for their help.

The worker had the most comforting and exquisite touch when she held my hand, my arm cradled against her. I have so many mixed feelings around this. She was extremely attractive (in “vibes” and appearance) and there is something so beautiful to me about the times in my life where I have been in a psychedelically open space sharing feminine connection with someone.

Unfortunately while in line for the porta potty, the sexual energy from earlier just got increasingly more unmanageable. The music, the lights, the sensation and pressure of the worker’s hand squeezing mine; all of my wires had gotten crossed, resulting in the most intense synesthesia I’ve had in many years. I think we were in line for at least 5 minutes, probably more. At one point I had to bite my lip and use all my effort to not audibly moan. I was being betrayed by the foxy! The simple touch of this worker’s hand combined with the sensory stimulation brought me to a never ending orgasm that I felt in my whole body and mind. I wanted to burst into tears. In the sake of transparency I tried to communicate this to the worker (“I am so sorry, it’s not you, it’s the drugs, I am experiencing an orgasm that is pretty intense for me…”). She was very supportive. In retrospect, as someone who has been in the harm reduction worker role before (at this festival even), I’m really not sure how I would have responded to this. I panicked for a moment and expressed my concerns to re: how does this fit into a consensual dynamic, and was genuinely distressed at feeling like I was coercing someone into an experience they didn’t consent to. At that point the line ended and she walked me to the porta potty and said she’d be happy to talk about this with me later in the night. She said she would wait outside for me.

The porta potty was a nightmare factory. There was no toilet paper. I pulled my tights down and discovered the goo-iest mess I’ve ever experienced without actually engaging in any direct stimulation of primary erogenous zones. I sheepishly opened the door and asked if there was any toilet paper anywhere. I think she found some and returned. I couldn’t get comfortable. I was still having intermittent orgasms and stomach cramping, though I don’t think I was actually able to take a shit. It just felt like it, which was somehow worse. I was cold and warm. I let her know that I was going to be awhile and she should return to the Sanctuary. She wished me well and told me to have fun.

This is where things took a dark turn. It turns out, a disgusting porta potty is not a great setting for an intense psychedelic trip. A year prior to this I had experienced a psychotic break from a period of stress-induced paranoid ideation following a break up. I started thinking about my ex, which led to a horrifying spiral about poverty and capitalism and everything wrong in my life. Something shifted then and I completely separated from reality. I was simultaneously experiencing the most pleasure and pain I had ever felt. The sexual pleasure was still overwhelming, but now I was overcome with the urge to die. I had convinced myself that because of this porta potty situation, I was definitely getting a UTI or STI or sepsis/something, and therefore I was dying. I tried to google how to get antibiotics but couldn’t navigate my phone. I then became fully convinced that I was dying, and since I was dying I must have overdosed. I both resisted and accepted my death, and had the irresistible urge to kill myself. It got super dark. I was stuck for an indeterminate amount of time. The rest of the night up until a point is undoubtedly my least favorite time I’ve had on psychs so far. I think I requested the help of first aid by telling them I was dying and needed to go to the hospital. They were obviously extremely confused. I very much felt like an extreme risk to myself, and I’m not convinced that if I were in the chaotic Sanctuary I could have been talked down from this experience. I insisted I was dying and that I wanted to die in the hospital, and that they would have to restrain me because I would find a way to kill myself. It was truly a bizarre symptom that I’ve never experienced on any substance before. The urge to die was so strong. The next 3 hours or so are extremely hazy and fairly traumatizing to remember. I got to relive all the trauma of my life and feel immense shame and hatred at myself for “overdosing”, which I felt would make my organization look bad.

After a certain point, I began to be capable of semi-rational thought again. It probably took another hour (it was probably 5am at this point) before I was able to sit up and declare some semblance of something that made sense. One of the medical staff had been very kind and patient with me throughout this. The rest not so much. I thanked them for their patience and left to change into actual comfy clothes and process everything. I got to go to a set I had been looking forward to, but it was a less than joyous occasion. I ran into friends and shared some of their MDMA with them now that I was feeling almost sober. It didn’t do much, which was probably good. I wandered off into the set by myself, somber. As it ended with the sunrise I found a loveseat to sprawl across. After a few minutes of this someone approached me, who turned out to be my camp neighbour. He was quiet and pensive but kind. He sat with me and we discussed things I don’t remember. I did tell him a much lighter synopsis of my night (sans suicidal ideation), which I believe was entertaining to him. At some point it was decided that we would go cuddle together. We went to cuddle into his tent, which I had not realized had other people in it. They seemed fast asleep. As soon as we started cuddling, the foxy energy that had been dormant for several hours now came rushing back. I felt electric again. I tried to sleep and ignore it. It didn’t work. More goo. Our sweaty bodies entwined in each other, hard and soft. Not explicitly sexual, but very obviously so. His tent mates got up at some point and we got lost in kissing each other, breathing and moving and writhing together. We were fucking without fucking and it was incredible. Unfortunately it was now 10am and the tent had to be packed up as everyone was leaving the festival. I left, grateful to have found someone to share space with that was the epitome of safety and sensual sweetness after an intense trip. I found my roommate and we packed up our shit, absolutely haggard, and drove 7 hours to our resting spot for the night. I slept so well, though definitely still had some darkness in my mind.

**

About a month after this experience, I was coordinating a drug checking program at a festival in my region. One of the drug checking techs was hoping to get some more experience so at a slow point in the day I offered my remaining capsule of 4-aco-dmt for her to test as she had never tested it before and was curious what it would look like (in spectra form on the drug analysis software). I filled out the report as she read the chemical name of the first suggested hit that came up as a potential match: 5-methoxy-N, N-diisopropyltryptamine. I had a moment of pure confusion. That wasn’t the chemical name for 4-aco-dmt. I realized then what had happened in the biggest lightbulb moment of my life. This capsule was also foxy. When my friend and I went back to acquire more of each substance at the festival, we were both given foxy by the supplier’s girlfriend instead of me getting 4-aco-dmt. I didn’t fuck up as badly as I thought. There was no way I could have avoided what happened (accidentally taking foxy) save for getting my drugs tested a second time, which seemed redundant given that the first batch had tested as expected and I had no reason to suspect this would be different.

I’m not sure what choices I’ll make in the future if a scenario like this happens again. I guess take the risk and buy a large amount of substance at once to test it all then?

I am quite curious if this experience would have been manageable with much lower 4-aco-dmt and 5-meo-dipt dosages, but at this point I think that is an extraordinarily unwise idea given how dramatically unsafe this particular combination was for me. As a side note, I do take 150mg of Buproprin (Wellbutrin) XL daily, though I think hadn’t taken my meds for 3-4 days at that point in the festival. I’m unsure of that impact on this experience.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117565
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: Oct 17, 2024	Views: 15
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LSD (2), 4-AcO-DMT (387), 5-MeO-DiPT (57) : Combinations (3), What Was in That? (26), Sex Discussion (14), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)