DOSE:

500 mg

oral

Amanitas - A. muscaria

(edible / food)

BODY WEIGHT:

156 lb

My intention is not to scare anyone or convince anyone to take this drug; Only to promote safe use and to beg and plead you not to do this the way I did. I have a pre-existing condition of OCD-anxiety and should also note I am very sensitive to THC. THC has been known to cause me severe anxiety even in small doses at times. If this seems like a low dose, It could be that downers are not my thing in general due to the heightened anxiety I get from being out of control.

I’m a female in my mid-thirties. 156 lbs. Yesterday, I took Amanita Muscaria “Fly Agaric” in gummy form for the first time.

While far from a pro psychonaut, I have used psilocybin and have had almost exclusively positive experiences that aid in treating my anxiety and depression. A few weeks ago, my friends and I went to a smoke shop and picked up Amanita gummies (just to try them) which I believe was our first mistake. The package gave dosage suggestions and I had no intention of overdoing it my first time.

I have been getting in the habit of self-medicating lately to treat my extreme anxiety. In certain cases, it has been a massive help to me. I had taken the day off due to complications with issues in my personal life that I wanted to work through. I had every intention of journaling and obtaining a low-level buzz without any extremely deep, challenging experiences. Per the directions on the package, I took one for a “possibly euphoric effect.”

The result was anything but. To be fair, I should have known right away that something was wrong when I tasted the gummy. It may not be the same for everyone, but to me, it instantly tasted the way a poisonous plant smells in the wild.

I took my dose at around 9 am.

Almost as instantly as I took it, I began to feel the overwhelming feeling of being too high for my comfort level. I almost instantly began to experience psychotic feelings of an intense break with reality.

I was caught in what can only be described as a time-loop, scared to death. If my body was feeling anything, I wasn’t aware of any sensation. Toward the peak of my experience, objects appeared sideways in my field of vision. Colors were enhanced, but also sort of drab. It was hard to explain.

I ripped off all my clothes a few times and put them back on unable to comprehend which felt better to me at the time. My body itself felt like it was sliced into 4 different quadrants of time. My head was in a different dimension from my shoulders, for example. My heart was pounding and the ground was rising when I would walk toward my door. I forced myself to drink water as I could do nothing but pace back-and-fourth for approximately nine hours. Pacing was the only thing connecting me to my body and gave me any sense of control.

My vision was exceedingly blurry and I became certain I would die from what felt like being poisoned. I convinced myself that if I gave into the sedative properties of the mushroom that are common, I would never be able to wake again so I fought sleep the only way I knew how. It felt like I was being re-traumatized every passing hour as the effects would ebb and flow. I was at the mercy of God and not of myself anymore.

Note: I am a Christian who grew up with a very Reagan administration “Drugs are bad” Mama who always warned me about stuff like this. I also work for a company that just recently declared a hard line on drugs of any sort. (Though Amanita is legal, it is still a drug that was having profound effects on me.) I began to pray and beg God to spare my life and for me to come down. While I definitely believe he spoke to me in this nightmare, it was never audible.

It was then I felt stuck between calling 9-1-1, but not feeling like I was coherent enough to do so. I felt like my thoughts couldn’t be properly articulated. Due to the shame of having taken anything in the first place, I was worried that if I called 9-1-1, my company would find out that I had taken something. I would have to return home with no job and explain to my parents that I had been fired for drug use. On the other hand, I was worried that my Mother’s worst fear would be realized if I had died in my hotel room under the influence of a mystery drug she’d never heard of.

Being alone and solely feeling responsible for my survival (in my mind, at least) was terrifying. I passed the mirror and instantly felt empathy for myself. I looked like a scared child with an expression I hadn’t seen on my face in years. I began to cry profusely and realized the biggest lesson here was in humility and shame. I had never felt such great shame. My ego died that day. I realized how much I loved my parents and how much I needed love and how much I needed other people. I had been alone all day so even the irritating college kids in the room next to mine that I had complained about several nights earlier were a comfort in ways I couldn’t describe.

I did some late-in-the-game research and listened to a man describe his trip report saying that the one person to pull him out of his experience was his girlfriend.

It was then 8 pm and I was terrified, but I knew what I had to do as these effects were just not tapering off. I needed to rest. I texted a friend to come and sit with me. It was only when I saw him and felt the comfort of another human being that I knew what the whole day had been about. I was so ashamed and so embarrassed, but I needed someone. I needed the love and comfort of another human. When we began to talk, the effects finally began to taper off and I realized the bad trip was about 70 % shame/guilt related. My friend was not judging me and made me feel completely at ease.

While I still wasn’t able to fully sleep, I was able to rest lucidly in his arms. I felt safe and I was finally back on earth.

I was still unable to go to work the next day. Note: everything still appears a bit wobbly. Not much appetite, but I’m forcing myself to eat a little here and there. The comedown is awful, but I’m definitely grateful to be lucid, coherent and alive. I will never take that for granted again.

I had been experiencing moments of extreme fear of death prior to this experience. I have to say, I am so grateful to be alive, but I was surprised that my fear of death had a different point of origin: I was more afraid for the people I would leave behind. I am shocked that subconsciously, this had been the fear the whole time. Not to say that Amanita is or is not deadly. It can be in some cases, but I don’t think my dose was lethal. However, feeling like I was going to die taught me that it must be my deep love for my family and friends that keeps me alive and going.

Amanita and Psilocybin are not even close. I do not feel great today, but I have my friend checking on me just in case.

For those curious, mild nausea and off feelings in my gut were off-and-on throughout the experience and I was definitely over-salivating, but I never got violently ill the way others describe. Today, I definitely feel like I got in a fight with the mushroom yesterday and it won for sure.

While I do wish circumstances could have been different, the lessons absorbed today are making me fully aware that God knew exactly what I needed when I took this trip. This was definitely the most terrifying experience of my life so, I now feel like there’s nowhere to go but up.

While Psilocybin is the friend that holds my hand through the pleasant experiences of highs and lows, Amanita is the enemy that beats me up, but I learn so much from them. They are not the same. This was a low dose.

I hope this helps someone out there before they make a decision to trip alone.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117712
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 12, 2026	Views: Not Supported
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Amanitas - A. muscaria (70) : Alone (16), Hangover / Days After (46), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)