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Cosmic Consciousness Orgasm
1P-LSD & Cannabis (Hash)
Citation:   Fractal Cloud. "Cosmic Consciousness Orgasm: An Experience with 1P-LSD & Cannabis (Hash) (exp117955)". Erowid.org. Sep 24, 2024. erowid.org/exp/117955

 
DOSE:
100 ug oral 1P-LSD (blotter / tab)
    repeated smoked Cannabis - Hash  
BODY WEIGHT: 65 kg
Background.
I am a 37 year old cis gay man and I live with my partner. I am a climate scientist, and at this time I am unemployed, trying to make the switch between academia and a research position in a large company. This is a big change and I am not always comfortable with changes, although I have been working on it, and I am fairly optimistic at this moment. This gave me a good opportunity to trip after a long time, thanks to the free time between interviews and the possibility to get some insight from the experience, and maybe reconnect with my creativity (I have a natural predisposition to drawing, but I struggle with doing it and enjoying it, and psychedelics have helped me in the past). I have been in therapy for 10 years, it started to try and overcome anxiety and depression, and with time it has turned more into a personal growth journey, with ample space for spirituality.

I have some experience with substances, which however started when I was about 27. I am fascinated by their effects on consciousness, and I read many experiences, but also scientific articles about the recent developments of psychedelic research. I am a daily cannabis user, and I have tripped a few times on mushrooms in 2014-15; occasionally I use MDMA or cathinones for recreational purposes, I tried small doses of ketamine mostly with other substances, and opium once. I occasionally drink a glass of wine or a cocktail, but I don’t enjoy being drunk. During the summer of 2016, I had a chance to purchase a number of 1p-LSD blotters, nominally containing 100 μg each, and I still own a good amount. I have preserved them in the refrigerator, and it has clearly worked well.

On Sunday, February 25, 2024 I was home alone, as my partner had left to go to a rave party with some of his friends. I should have had an interview the following week, but it had been delayed, and I found myself on the perfect occasion to do a solitary trip. I decided to take one blotter; I had done this before, with a friend sitting me while being sober. I enjoyed it, I drew a lot, smoked a lot, moved around a lot, but it was nothing crazy and I expected something similar. I was wrong…

I decided to take the blotter in the morning, so that I would be able to get a good night's sleep and not disrupt my daily cycle.

T -1.00 (around 9 am)
I have a decent breakfast with two eggs, avocado, toast and some coffee. I am not really a breakfast person, but I expect that I will skip lunch.

T 0.00 (10.15 am)
I put the blotter on my tongue and I start doing a few things to keep me busy while waiting, so I take a shower and prepare a joint for later. I have some hashish, it’s ok, nothing too intense. I always make very small joints, containing about 0.15 g each or so. During my previous 1p-LSD experiences I smoked a lot, as the trip was never too intense and I used it to enhance the effects when I wanted to.

T +0.30
The first effects start appearing: with both shrooms and 1p-LSD, at this stage I always get some myoclonus (little muscle spasms, especially in the back of my legs), I shiver although I am not cold and I feel a little restless. In the past, at this point I really wanted to dance, but this time I decide to watch some videos. Before becoming a climate scientist I have always been a weather nerd, and I am especially fascinated by tornadoes, so I chose a playlist of videos from one of my favorite tornado chasers (Pecos Hank, if you are a storm enthusiast go check his youtube channel!). I watch for quite some time as the effects grow steadily but slowly, as for me it usually takes 3 hours to reach the peak.

T +2.00
At this point the effects are well evident, and I can’t just sit and watch videos anymore. I spend a long time looking at a picture of my partner slightly shifting shapes, apparently showing different emotions; then I watch a few more minutes of videos, put on some music, look outside and repeat. However, as time passes I feel more like I want an intimate trip, and I make the house quite dark, closing the blinds or heavy curtains, and I keep only a candle and a lamp. I prepare my bedroom, closing the blinds, and bringing one of those lamps that project psychedelic lights onto the ceiling.

T +3.00 (13.15 pm)
Based on my previous experiences, I should be at peak intensity and it definitely feels like it.
I am now mostly listening to music, especially a playlist I prepared back in 2015 to trip on mushrooms. It’s not very long, and not particularly original: there are songs from Pink Floyd, The Doors, The Eagles, the soundtrack from Into the Wild, White Rabbit and not much more. This time The Eagles are the only ones I want to listen to, then I switch to a playlist prepared by my partner titled “Take me to a trip” containing several songs inspired by shamanism and ayahuasca rituals, and oh boy did it take me!

Since the trip feels manageable, I light up my joint and slowly smoke it while listening to music over the course of 20-30 minutes (it would normally take me 5 minutes or so). I see everything breathing or moving in waves, but my visuals are not crazy at all, besides the dark curtains illuminated by the sun on the other side, that seem like a 3D object containing layers with incredible fractal textures.

T +3.30
As soon as I finish my joint, without really planning to do it, I find myself going to the bedroom, bringing the speaker to listen to some music, and I lay on the bed. For a while I watch the swirling red and blue-green lights on the ceiling. They look like smokey 3D structures moving smoothly with the music and they are cool, but I feel that I have not come here for this.

I close my eyes and try to focus on my breath, as one would to meditate or during yoga. I have closed-eye visuals but they are not very intense; my imagination does not usually produce solid images, I don’t have aphantasia but they are quite transparent, as reflections on a glass, and often not very stable. On occasion I can get more vivid images, both sober and during past trips. In this case, I see morphing and intersecting surfaces made of continuously moving modular structures; the surface is in various shades of gray, however the separations between the surfaces are arrows, curled lines and other similar shapes, each one containing the entire rainbow. It is nothing spectacular, and occasionally all of this briefly becomes a chaos of grotesque or surreal creatures, with the same color palette.

I feel very well, but the visuals don’t match the sensation, and I feel a little disappointed. Here is when things get more interesting, as several concepts I learned over time from psychology, eastern philosophy, alchemy, and mindfulness come to my mind. I recall that resistance and judgment are not a good mindset for growth, so I let these thoughts go and just relax and focus on my breath again.

As my mind calms down, the visuals disappear, and I see just darkness, but also an increasingly warm energy in my chest. In the darkness, in a point that I identify with my heart, I see some light that tries to escape from a thin opening and I think “it is time to open your heart and let go”. I feel this energy explode out of my chest and I see it do it in the form of white fractals, until I only see light.
I feel this energy explode out of my chest and I see it do it in the form of white fractals, until I only see light.
Even more energy flows through my body from head to toes, and at this moment it is obvious to me that I am simply perceiving the energy of the universe. The feeling is amazing and it quickly becomes an intense pleasure, until I reach an orgasm, not with my genitals but with my entire body. I am not sure how long this lasts, but I suppose only a few seconds. I come back to some level of awareness and I realize I am moaning and breathing heavily. I hope my neighbors enjoyed the show…

As I hear my heavy breath, I understand why some people get scared near an ego dissolution and fall into a bad trip, and I simply try to calm my breath again. I feel all the energy in my chest expand quickly, dissolving the boundaries of my body and of my ego. Before my eyes I see an empty space, only dotted by small fractals tracing the structure of a spherical matrix or grid. It is incredibly peaceful and timeless, but it also feels like there is a lot of presence, and I am seeing what is inside, below, behind and above our everyday physical reality. Again, I am not sure how long I “stay” in this place, I feel incredibly peaceful but after a little I come back into my body. I feel happy and speechless, I literally fail at my attempt to say some words out loud. Shortly after, I go back to the same state as before, but I focus on keeping my breath relaxed from the beginning, and this suppresses the pleasurable feeling that led me to that cosmic orgasm. Instead, I see a vision of myself as an open sphere that is going to receive all the evil, every bad thing happening in the universe. I find myself thinking “yes, I am ready”, and despite all that evil, I feel at peace. The same happens, this time with everything that is good in the universe. But as it hits me, I realize that it is the same thing as the evil, that everything that happens is just necessary, and “good and evil” are moral labels that we attach to some events following our terrestrial necessities. I wish I had this trip 20 years ago, my Philosophy grades in high school would have skyrocketed…!

When I come back into myself again, it is really over. I keep feeling my ego and body melt and re-materialize, but my mind is just peaceful and in the more lucid moments goes back to what just happened. I also experience a little sense of regression, as I look at the lights on the ceiling for a second I feel like my baby self looking at the toy bees above my baby cot. Slowly I re-enter my body more permanently, I get up, look at myself in the mirror, and eat the most delicious piece of chocolate of my life.

T +4.30 (circa)

I am messaging with my partner on whatsapp, he later told me that my messages sounded filled with love.

I go back to my living room and take some A3 paper and crayons, and I start drawing. I am not sure what, it turns out it’s a self portrait, although I am not using any mirror or picture. I make it with a lot of colors, the result is really similar to other drawings made by people during trips, my face has a very dual nature, and a lot of psychedelic colors and features.

In the next few hours I will make this and another drawing, an equally colorful Pachamama (my partner is obsessed with this spiritual figure). However, the intense experience has definitely left me more tired than in my previous experiences, so I tend to slow down and lose a bit of momentum. I interrupt my drawing to smoke several joints, and to eat a skyr with a cookie crumbled inside, kiwis, chocolate, chips, more chocolate, and more chips, while listening to music. My favorites at this stage of the trip are, again, The Eagles and Eddy Vedder’s “Into the Wild” songs.

T +10.30

It is now after 8.30 pm and I feel almost back to baseline, so I decide to venture outside to smoke a joint and take a stroll in the very calm and quite panoramic streets “above” my house, as I live on the lee of a small hill. The visuals are gone, however I still feel a little vulnerable. I don't really like to walk near roads where cars can transit when I take psychedelics, although here barely anyone is ever around. I come back and prepare myself a more nutritious dinner than the stuff I have been snacking on during the afternoon.

T +16

Although I feel very well, it is always hard for me to go to bed after taking any 1p-LSD dose. At about 2 am I finally get sleepy, after watching another good amount of tornado footage.

T +23

I wake up the next day at 9 am, with no residual effect whatsoever.

Conclusion.

My report is already very long, so I will only add a little comment. Of course, after the end of the trip I became myself again, it’s not like I had a revelation that has changed my life abruptly. However, I do remember how I felt during those moments, and I know that inner peace is something that can be reached without tripping, and I received a good demonstration of all the good that can happen when you open your heart.

Also, I had a little reminder of a lesson I already knew: set and setting play as much an important role as the substance and dose. Just because it is “only” 100 μg, it doesn’t mean it can’t be powerful; just because you already tried the same dose, don’t expect the same result, even with a product from the same batch. Respect the molecule, it might kick your ass, or gift you a marvelous cosmic consciousness orgasm.

Exp Year: 2024ExpID: 117955
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 37
Published: Sep 24, 2024Views: 15
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1P-LSD (682), Cannabis - Hash (93) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)

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