DOSE:

3 hits

smoked

DMT

(device)

BODY WEIGHT:

90 kg

I have used psychedelics extensively in the past. I smoke marijuana daily. In the year 2018 alone, I consumed LSD and mushrooms a total of 53 times.

I was heading home with my friend, who happens to be a drug dealer. While stuck in traffic, we smoked marijuana and discussed psychedelics. Specifically, we chatted about individuals who appear to have lost touch with reality and behave or speak strangely.

After arriving home and eating an apple, my friend began preparing The Machine. I settled on the couch and focused on my breathing. My friend ignited the lighter, and as the smoke emerged, I started to inhale slowly, holding my breath for about 10 seconds. Everything around me began to transform rapidly. The colors grew darker but with a sharp contrast. Suddenly, I remembered to exhale, and the colors shifted. I noticed the distant lights multiplying! Each light source split into 4 or 5 sources.

As my friend started operating The Machine again, I glanced at her face, which was adorned with intricate patterns and mandalas, reminiscent of one of Alex Gray's paintings. The machine resembled play dough, and as I took another puff, I found myself questioning if I was doing it correctly. Suddenly, the following hit jolted me out of my body, allowing me to sense the space surrounding me, including my room and the neighboring rooms. It felt like a familiar place from my dreams, akin to a child on Christmas vacation. I struggled to concentrate on my breathing, inhaling rapidly. I gazed at my partner, noticing the smile on their face, which reminded me to focus on my breath.

I smoked for the third time, but I can't recall if I finished the entire smoke or held it long enough. Suddenly, a wave of sounds emerged, and a part of me was already engrossed in breathing. As my friend drifted further away, I realized that the journey had commenced. Whispers intertwined with the music, creating a vibrating sound that was truly beautiful. I closed my eyes, focused on my breathing, and allowed the fractals to envelop me.

I lost my sense of place and time, my awareness of existence faded. All connections to reality were severed. I felt detached from my body. I gazed at a vast temple of shifting shapes, vaguely familiar yet constantly changing. One corner caught my eye, revealing bones, flames, eyes, and teeth. Fear gripped me. What does this signify? Am I inherently flawed? Does this foretell my demise? Then, a sudden recollection: I had taken drugs. Panic surged within me. Have I lost my sanity? (Recalling a conversation in a traffic jam with my friend) How will others perceive me? How will my friend react? What will my partner think? I am convinced I will never recover. What have I done? Is my visage melting away? Am I trembling?

Then suddenly I remembered to breathe, I took a deep breath and a sound like "Aha" escaped my lips. I began to observe the dance of fractals and colors, feeling the joy and the rush of Dopamine through my body. I witnessed cosmic-like shapes and colors, hearing faint whispers. I could sense the texture of the colors, even catching a glimpse of a pulsating yellow light in the distance, resembling thunder behind the clouds.

I began to lose myself in the process, each step revealing something that anchored me to reality. A deep breath, the sound of music, the cool touch of the wind, or a pang of hunger would bring me back down, leaving me feeling melancholic. Every moment of regained awareness was marked by a deep inhale and an exclamation like "uhm" or "wow". It felt akin to Archimedes' famous cry of "Eureka".

As I sat down, I reflected on the entire experience. The most intense sensation I felt was the brush with mortality, a mix of fear and a surge of delight. I vowed to myself in that instant that I would never repeat this act and would never expose others to it.

Exp Year: 2024	ExpID: 118123
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 37
Published: Feb 21, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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DMT (18) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)