DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 line	insufflated	4-Fluoromethylphenidate	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:45	30 mg	oral	4-Fluoromethylphenidate	(powder / crystals)
T+ 2:00		oral	Coffee
T+ 4:00	20 mg	oral	4-Fluoromethylphenidate	(powder / crystals)
T+ 5:45	20 mg	insufflated	4-Fluoromethylphenidate	(powder / crystals)
T+ 6:50	1 line	insufflated	4-Fluoromethylphenidate	(powder / crystals)
T+ 8:40		insufflated	4-Fluoromethylphenidate	(powder / crystals)
T+ 20:00	10 mg	oral	4-Fluoromethylphenidate	(powder / crystals)
T+ 24:00	10 mg	oral	4-Fluoromethylphenidate	(powder / crystals)
T+ 28:00	122 lines	insufflated	4-Fluoromethylphenidate	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:00	20 mg	oral	Pharms - Citalopram	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

This is my first experience of using this 4F-MPH. I take 20 mg of citalopram daily, but on the day of the report, I skipped the dose. Day before I smoked weed for the first time in two weeks, which is why it was a slight fog in my head.

Motivation: research a drug that is new to me, check the positive reviews about it, learn about the benefits and harm that it can bring.

T+ 0:00
Good mood and a little excited about the upcoming trip, being in a remote area in the park, I make a line about 30 mg and inhale. The powder is white-gray color and smells like medicine. Thanks to the small amount, I don't feel it in the throat. Entry is expected within 30 minutes, which means I have some time for shopping.

T+ 0:30
Leaving the store, I notice a slight effect. I'm calm, my irritability has disappeared, however, nothing similar to the effects of amphetamines or cathinones. I would like to describe it as nootropic, which rather disappoints me.

T+ 0:45
I decide to take it orally by mixing 30 mg with the M-150 energy drink. The powder has dissolved without sediment, after a short shaking. I have a drink and then go home.

T+ 1:00
This is the effect, sitting calmly on the train I feel an intense sense that makes me a little anxious and slightly nauseous. I think the first dose only took effect now, which means I made a mistake in rushing to take the second so quickly.

T+ 1:20
While I’m riding my bike, I notice that I don’t feel tired, although the headwind is quite strong. I am extremely relaxed, a little buzzed, to drive smoothly I need to concentrate all my attention on the ride.

T+ 1:40
Here I am at home. My social skills have improved, and I am happy to talk about my shopping. I notice that there is no obsessive desire to chat incessantly. The feeling of peace does not leave me. The jaw becomes jittery, I bite and lick my lips, sweating increases.

T+ 2:00
I drink coffee and measure pulse on the smartwatch. Now it's about 100-120 bpm. Feel the motivation to learn a second language, I go to bed and focus on my phone.

T+ 3:00
Feel like I’m on a plateau, the discomfort from entering has gone away, but the effect which can impress me has still not come. There is no euphoria, and stimulation has a score 2/5. But my concentration really improved, and it was easy to spend an hour studying without being distracted. Friends invite me to go for a walk, and unexpectedly for myself, I refuse. Usually when I'm on stimulants I can't just stay calm, I like to go anywhere instead of sitting still. But not now, the mood is very even and impartial, there is a pleasant tiredness in my body and a feeling of laziness takes over me . I plan to overcome it and take care of my work.

T+ 3:45
I finished the monotonous work that had been hanging on the task list for about a month. Now, repeating the same actions was quite pleasant. Once the task was completed, I felt empty and irritable. I need to keep myself busy again, or these feelings won't go away. I feel the urge to redose.

T+ 4:00
I drink another 20 mg

T+ 5:45
I don’t sit idle for a minute, cleaning, preparing dinner, etc. With each new dosage, restlessness and tremors increase. Mouth very dry, so I drink a lot of water. My bladder is restless, and as result I want to pee every 10 minutes.

Head is clear when I catch a focus, the mood is already very good, but my heart is racing and pounding in the chest. I haven’t felt hungry for a long time, although I’ve already skipped meals several times. Without desire, I force myself to eat some rice; its taste unusual, which makes me understand that my taste sensations have changed.
I decide to take 20 mg intranasally.

T+ 6:50
I wrote a postcard to friends and almost burst into tears from sentimentality and love for them. I am very twitchy, and it seems that I have long gone too far with an adequate amount. Noticed that music doesn't bring any pleasure.

The snorting makes me constantly want to repeat the dose once the peak effect starts to fade off. At the same time, the peak feels like a strong adrenaline rush, which makes it a little scary and breathtaking. Something similar can be experienced on rollercoasters in amusement parks. Pulse is 120 bpm. It seems I can't stop on my own, and I need a trip sitter who could limit me. I take another line, about 15 mg.

T+ 8:00
Around this time, the first dose should wear off. As long as I concentrate on the task (for example, I took a warm shower, with a very thorough body scrubbing), the effects become unnoticeable, but as soon as I get bored, psychosis sets in. I don’t want to stop, although I’m mentally and physically exhausted. The feeling of the holiday is so sweet that I’m angry for myself like a child.

T+ 8:40
I take a few more small lines, but don’t write them down because feel ashamed of my behavior. These were the last ones because it's time to go to bed. I know that tomorrow I will continue.

T+ 9:30
Having sex with my partner. There are no problems with erection, although the penis looked very small, which often happens with stimulants. The sex was great, I felt grateful and gave tenderness, which is not typical for me. There were no difficulties with ejaculation.

Bedtime. Lowering my head onto the pillow, I relax and only now notice how hard my heart is beating. The pulse is about 90, but the blood pressure is so strong that the head bounces on the pillow from the pulsating vein. I’m not scared, I’m not ashamed, I peacefully accept myself as I am, even giggle a little at how stupid I sometimes am, bringing myself to such a state. Deep reflection is not possible, since the nervous system is exhausted. I notice tension in the muscles that can no longer be suppressed by willpower. By choosing a comfortable position, I manage to plunge into absolutely empty hypnagogia. I'm not sleeping, but my brain isn't generating any thoughts or images at all. The bladder pulls me out of this state and forces to empty myself. And again I don’t sleep, the words from the songs obsessively get stuck in my head and are repeated in a circle, preventing me from relaxing.

The situation with hypnagogia and awakening is repeated several times, until finally...

T+ 14:30
...the pressure drops, my heart stops beating like a barrel in techno music, I fall asleep sweetly and see colorful, interesting and pornographic dreams which happens to me very, very rarely.

T+ 17:30
My sleep is over, in 30 minutes I need to help my neighbors. The aftereffects of stimulation are still in the body, the muscles ache from the spasms. There is fog in my head, and a slight sadness in the soul. I take 20 mg citalopram and start my day.

T+ 20:00
Yes, I'll do it again. I admit that I can't stop. But I will try to be responsible and only take the recommended 10 mg orally. Having taken it on an empty stomach, I again notice nausea and irritation of the digestive system, just like yesterday at the beginning of the trip. Today the effects are much softer, no tremors or bruxism, just a good mood and motivation.

T+ 24:00
Once again, I notice irritability and dissatisfaction when the effect begins to subside, and I am not busy with anything. I don’t want to be alone with boredom, although it usually doesn’t bother me.
I drink another 10 mg.

T+ 28:00

It’s already evening, time runs quickly, the desire to redose again and again torments me . This does not bring any “high”, only overstimulating. The brain gets confused by this silly habit and wants to do it again. I sniff two lines of 10-15 mg.

There's still a huge amount of powder in my zip-lock bag, but it's time to be strong again, so I dilute everything that's left in a glass bottle and pour it into my garden under the wildflowers (we'll see what effect it has on the plant). My marathon is over. My hands are shaking, my heart is pounding and tingling, but I am calm and sit down to write this text. Writing it carefully and without stopping. As Hemingway instructed, I plan to edit it sober.

Conclusion:
Small “therapeutic” doses of up to 10 mg gave me a barely noticeable stimulating, mood stabilizing and helped me concentrate. There was no euphoria.

Doses above 10 mg orally had a 1 hour uplift, 1 hour plateau, 2 hour decline, and 2 hours after effects.

When inhaled, the effect showed up after 40 minutes, but ended an hour faster. The desire to repeat with this intake was significantly higher than with oral usage. Due to the fact that I did not have a scale and I measured the powder by eye, within 9 hours I snorted and drank a very large amount of the substance, which led me to an obvious overdose. In this state, I could still concentrate on a task such as cleaning or spa treatment, but my blood pressure was much higher than normal. If I didn't have an object to concentrate on, I started to feel dizzy, confused, forgetful and lost. My muscles spasmed all the time. At the peak of the intake, there was a surge of adrenaline, which caused both mild euphoria and fear (the feeling of a roller coaster). Increasing the dosage did not lead to a significant increase in recreational effects, but only intensified the negative ones.

I chose this substance for research because the original Ritalin is well documented, relatively safe, compatible with my antidepressant, and its RC version, judging by the reviews, helps many people with their ADHD problems. However, my willpower was not enough to resist abusing it. Now the substance is buried in the ground, and my plans do not include purchasing another batch.

Exp Year: 2024	ExpID: 118201
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Oct 10, 2024	Views: 15
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