DOSE: T+ 0:00	150 mg	oral	Moclobemide	(pill / tablet)
T+ 1:00	150 mg	insufflated	DPT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:00	4 mg	oral	Pharms - Eszopiclone	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

I had the most intense and terrifying trip of my life.

Dose: 150 mg of moclobemide (MAOI) and 150 mg of DPT insufflated an hour later. Let this be a warning to you that this substance is no joke.

Given the amount of powder and my sensitive nose, I didn't have much trouble snorting that much, which was a big plus. Unfortunately, my nose was clogged for a good few hours afterwards, long after the trip was over. This also influenced my later hallucinations.

The first effects appeared after 5 minutes and there was no sign of impending disaster. I got up from the computer, texted my friends that I was going to lie down and listen to music, and so I did. I was lying there, watching increasingly vivid visuals, but at some point, I started feeling extremely suffocated and that something was wrong. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack and couldn't get enough oxygen. I decided to get up from bed and go to the balcony for some fresh air. This is where the real horror began, and I don't fully remember what happened after that.

I wandered around the apartment, panicking that I was suffocating. I stripped naked, I don't know why… Maybe I thought it would help. I desperately wanted to free myself from that feeling and felt trapped in my own body. I think I was walking around, screaming and begging for help, or maybe even for death. I just wanted it to be over.

Another flash of memory – deciding to take some benzos. I went to my medicine drawer and stood there frozen because I didn't know what to do. I knew I needed to take benzos, but I didn't know what a drawer was, what benzos were, hands, nothing... complete disorientation. Somehow, I managed to figure out how to open the drawer and which package contained the benzos, and I took exactly 4 mg of eszopiclone.

I don't remember what happened next, but I think I went to bed to wait it out. The next thing I remember is feeling an imminent puke coming without warning. Thankfully, I instinctively stuck my head out of bed, so I didn't throw up all over it. I assume I must have gotten up and run to the bathroom, vomiting everywhere along the way. Imagine having an ego-death trip and suddenly you have to puke. It was a nightmare. Typically, I convinced myself that I was vomiting my insides, and when I looked in the mirror, I saw blood pouring out of every hole in my face. I especially felt like blood was flowing from my nose, caused by the unpleasant feeling of a clogged nose from the nasal intake. I was completely sure it was the end, my body had given up, and I was dying. I wanted to call an ambulance, but luckily, the trip was so intense that making a phone call was too complicated for me. Then I somehow convinced myself that I had called an ambulance, and they were on their way. I thought, "Well, the day had to come eventually. I've been using drugs so much that I finally overdid it." Later, I saw myself in a hospital, doctors examining me, etc. – but in reality, it was just hallucinations.

If I had been tripping with someone, I would probably have begged them to call an ambulance. But when the [eszopiclone] started to kick in and the need to vomit passed, I lay down in bed and watched the visuals. Despite taking [eszopiclone], I was still having a powerful trip on a verge of losing consciousness.

My visions were beautiful – I saw abstract scenes that carried the following message: All elements of human society are interdependent and form cycles, and this pattern has existed for thousands of years. DPT showed me a convincing evidence that everything people do today has its analog in something people did 50,000 years ago. The visions also convinced me that we ourselves are a part of God. The visions looped. It was like the vision would start with the thesis "Man needs art, so..." and end with "...so art needs man." - with a lot of other conclusions in between and it all made the perfect sense and was mind blowing. It was a mental loop that I couldn't escape. It's hard to describe in words because it was something beyond the understanding of a sober person. Anyway, the message conveyed by these visions was very convincing, incredible, and beautiful.

Exp Year: 2024	ExpID: 118229
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 28
Published: Sep 27, 2024	Views: 15
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Moclobemide (75), DPT (21) : Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), Alone (16)