DOSE:

50 mg

vaporized

DMT

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

I became interested in DMT after my mother died. My atheist beliefs were like a ball and chain, dragging me down into despair. I had heard that DMT gave some people a spiritual experience and I figured even if it was a placebo or false, I could really use some relief in that department.

So, 20 years after my last hit of acid and now at the age of 40, I went online to purchase a new psychedelic that I had very little knowledge of.

I had nobody to share with and no trip sitter so I took baby steps with the substance. I was scared of it, I'm not really sure why. I enjoyed the effects of a lower dose, but never went for the full experience. After a couple months, I found myself at the end of my bag of DMT powder. I weighed it, 50 mg. I figured it was now or never.

I loaded the vaporizer, put on my headphones, and went to the backyard. I inhaled the smoke and held it in, wasting none of it. The first thing I noticed was that my vision had changed aspect ratio. Suddenly reality was in wide screen and my peripheral vision was in focus the same as seeing in front of me. I could see everything all around me at once, and my skin was vibrating with euphoria.

The lawn in front of me dazzled like gems and to my astonishment the blades of grass grew ten feet tall and formed into walls. I was in a glittering palace of green neon crystals. It was breathtakingly beautiful, but only lasted a second.

Next I looked at a vine next to me that spiraled into neon glowing fractals, it was mesmerizing and I watched it for what felt like a few minutes. I suddenly became aware of a buzzing sound. As soon as I wondered about it, the music started playing again. All of this had happened in the span of one music note, time had ceased to have meaning.

After this I looked up at the trees and saw large faces in the foliage. I saw them sticking their tongues out at me, shaking their leaves and mocking me. It was playful though, I was not scared of them. Around them was an insane amount of flashing patterns and colors.

During this experience, I felt that I was given knowledge that there is more to reality than I had believed. I felt for that amount of time that I was no longer me. I was pure energy and light. I had become electric and not tethered to the earth.

Eventually, the tetris pieces of my earthly details started falling into place. "Oh yeah, I'm a person" "oh right this is music" 'what the fuck just happened, everything is so incredible".

My gratitude to be a human on this beautiful earth was overwhelming. I was grateful to my mother for birthing me. I hoped she was now pure energy and light and having a beautiful time somewhere. The fact that I could hope for anything positive was an important step in grieving her death. The DMT worked, I was no longer in an existential crisis.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 118602
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 40
Published: Aug 14, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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DMT (18) : First Times (2), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)