DOSE:

250- 350 mg

MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

70 kg

I’ve been kind of battling molly addiction for the past year now. Even though I enjoy the substance I never use it without a reason and thats music production (beats). I’ve been making beats for almost 8 years now and I'm pretty skilled at it. Not saying this to brag but I have played instruments since the age of 6 and love sports which I'm also pretty good at (played at nations level). I used to be a daily weed smoker, luckily at much less frequent rate last few months and have tried LSD (x3 times), ecstasy and tramadol but havent taken enough to feel the effects. Summer 2024 was the last time I've taken LSD 250ug and had an existential crisis.

I'm writing this only because I want to tell about my experiences. The most MDMA I’ve taken in one dose was about 0.50g and the most I did in one night was about 1g. I still live with my parents what I'm very grateful for but that's where I have these “sessions” at (I’ve been doing this once a week last two months and 3-4 times a month the previous ones). I havent gotten caught yet but I know eventually I will and that will be a big problem for my parents. The house goes to sleep at around 11pm so I dose at 10:30pm because the drug takes a hour to kick in. Before I knew any better I was happy with ecstasy that was definitely cut but then I found a new dealer who loves to dabble in all kinds of substances but uses testing kits for each new supply plus our relationship is fair and we’re both always on time. I have to say there was this one time I had to wait for him in front of his flat for longer than hour because he was xaned out and called me like 10 times to ask me what I want.

Last night I've taken 0.35 which is something around my normal dose if I'm planning to make beats that night because I dont get as high as I used to from just 0.25.

T+30 I always have to take a shit because if not I’ll be puking later in the night. One interesting thing I always get when the dose is higher than 0.25g and I'm around people is that their faces start to change. The most memorable one was last November while I was talking to my friend and his face changed but the hair stayed the same. I'm not sure if I can call it hallucinations but happens to me almost every time.

Next example that I get each night is I'm using the FL Studio program, I kinda zone out and find myself thinking I'm playing minecraft. Then I realize wtf I'm doing and I'm still on the FL Studio but was “hallucinating” playing minecraft.. Does anyone else get these “hallucinations” while MDMA high? I’ve never met anyone with these side effects. Yesterday night I was talking to multiple of my personalities in my head for a few seconds then I realized what I'm doing is not very sane person thing so I quickly cut it off. I had many more of these experiences but its not possible for me to not forget them.

Also would want to say I'm hoping to be off the molly in a year from now. In Europe substances are not even closely accepted as they are in the usa. I'm planning to move to nyc for a few weeks this May to pursue this music thing I got going on the reason being its much harder to do it in Europe.

Getting into flow state is also important while studying, playing sports, music, art, writing, etc. Funny thing is insanity could be the key to everything but its not accepted in todays society.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 118776
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Mar 10, 2025	Views: 15
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MDMA (3) : Alone (16), Performance Enhancement (50), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)