DOSE: T+ 0:00	120 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
T+ 2:31	25 mg	oral	2C-B	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:00			Vitamins / Supplements	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

Prior to any drug experience these days, I make sure that I am in tip-top physical and mental condition. For reference: I usually exercise 6 times a week, stretch daily, eat unprocessed foods, and avoid smoking, alcohol, caffeine, and processed foods like candy or fast food. I was content waiting for the absolute best time to take the MDMA again. In previous trips I forewent taking it three times because it didn’t feel right in the moment.

Toned down exercise routine a little bit to accommodate for the additional stress on the body. Ensured that the next day would only have a light amount of schoolwork to complete, cleaned the apartment and made sure laundry was complete.

Over the past year, I had inquired into desire through observing everyday experience and meditating.

Prior to the experience, I consulted some websites online that talked about nexusflipping, specifically for the timing of the drug. I had already researched the drugs independently on psychonaut wiki and was well-versed with proper MDMA dosing, and supplementation. I had also consulted a website that gave advice on how to see through the assumption that allows desire and aversion to take place.

My intentions were to contemplate the end of two friendships that were very dear to me, and ultimately get over it; see what emerges in this vulnerable state; and explore the nature of desire, and hopefully see through the assumption that was kept it in place.

Leading up to the experience, I felt motivated to address desire once and for all. It felt like the fruit of inquiry from the past year was ripened and ready to drop. Thoughts around the ending of those two friendships were still uncomfortable and intrusive at times, and I felt ready to move past them. I felt relieved to have day off to relax and not be productive, and proud that I was able to carve out the time. For the months leading up, I had felt a restlessness, like there was always something to do regardless of how ahead I was.

Notes were taken on phone during and after experience. The entire trip took place in my apartment, during mid-day in a temperate climate in February. Weather was sunny and chilly outside. Predominant sounds were churchbells, some sirens, central air, and the servers that run in our second living room. I was physically alone, with my roommate hanging in his room for most of the day. My roommate was available in case of any emergencies.

Here is my prior drug experience, in order of when each substance was first taken, some of these include substances taken in medical applications, marked with a capital M next to them:

1. Toradol x1 (forgot the dose) M
2. Ethanol x17 (highest 154 grams, recent 28 grams)
3. 4-AcO-DMT x20 (highest 75mg, recent ~25mg)
4. THC x9 (unknown dosages, the highest dose caused visual hallucinations and synesthesia)
5. 4-HO-DMT (psilocin) x8 (highest 5g of dried cubebsis, recent ~5g)
6. LSD x17 (highest 735 uq, recent 630uq)
7. MDMA x8 (highest 135mg, recent 120mg)
8. Salvinorum A x4 (unknown dosages, each time was a sprinkle of 15x extract)
9. 2-CB x3 (highest 20mg, recent 25mg)
10. 1-cP-LSD x3 (highest 370 uq, recent 210uq)
11. 4-HO-MET x1 (highest 25mg, recent 25mg)
12. GHB x 9 (highest 5g, recent ~4g)
13. 25i-NBOH x6 (highest 1500uq, recent 1500uq)
14. 5-MeO-MiPT x1 (forgot the dosage, it was light to medium)
15. 3-HO-PCE x1 (highest 15mg, recent 15mg)
16. Haldol x1 M (unknown dosages)
17. Xanax x1 (highest 3mg, recent 3mg)
18. Rapé x2 (unknown dosages)
19. Kambo x2 (highest 4 dots, recent 4 dots)
20. 4-AcO-DET x1 (highest 35mg, recent 35mg)
21. Propofol x1 M (unknown dosage, though I do believe it was in 2 injections through the course of a surgery)

Never nexusflipped before, have candyflipped 6 times and hippyflipped once.

The MDMA was tested with Marquis, Mecke, and Simon’s reagent and all the results were a deep purple/black. Self and friends had tried the material before with no issues and experienced effects consistent with MDMA. The 2-CB was reagent tested several years ago I’m pretty sure. I had also tried from that batch twice with no issues and the effects were consistent with descriptions of 2-CB.

120mg of MDMA, weighed with a jewelry scale that has an estimated standard error of +\- 10mg. Weighed with tared gel-cap to minimize loss of material from transfer.

25mg of 2-CB, weighed with the same jewelry scale that has a estimated standard error of +\- 10mg. Weighed with tared gel-cap to minimize loss of material from transfer. Spatula and a small amount of material was licked to ensure no waste (2-CB supply was very low). Substance had a bitter metallic taste.

Prior to experience, consumed a 1,500 kcal protein shake that day to ensure energy levels were sufficient. Did not eat any more until the evening.

Supplement routine:

Before bed: 800mg IU vitamin E, 600mg CoQ10, 200mg Magnesium

9:30AM: 500mg Acetyl-L-carnatine, 2g ginger (if have)

11:30AM: 200mg Magnesium, 200mg ALA, 100mg Na-R-ALA, 1000mg Vitamin C, 100mg Grape-seed extract, 400mg Green tea

12:30AM: 120mg MDMA, 200 mg ALA, 100mg Na-R-ALA, 100mg Grape-seed extract, 400mg Green tea, 100mg magnesium

1:30AM: 200mg ALA, 500mg ALCAR

2:30pm: 200mg ALA, 100mg Na-R-ALA 100mg Magnesium

3pm: 25mg 2-CB

3:30pm: 200mg ALA, 500mg vitamin C

4:30pm: 200mg ALA, 100mg Na-R-ALA

5:30pm: 200mg ALA, 500mg ALCAR

6:30pm: 200mg ALA, 100mg Na-R-ALA, 500mg Vitamin C

7:30pm: 200mg ALA

1mg melatonin before bed

Week after: 200mg 5-HTP, 600-1000 NAC, 1mg melatonin, 400mg Green tea extract before bed

Only other substance taken in the months prior was 1mg of melatonin.

Without further ado, here is the report as written during the experience, including typos with corrections or elaborations from 3 weeks afterwards in brackets:

[11:45am returned from hockey that morning and began preparing space to trip, and showered. I was also in a discord call, playing in a AD&D game.]

[12:45 MDMA dosed. We were doing really well in the AD&D game, having successfully tricked and captured a troll-like creature and his hoard which we were rewarded greatly for.]

13:29 MDMA hit in as I was leveling up my character [I felt my skin cool and mild perspiration. A fresh energy and excitement wash over me. I generally felt stimulated, but it wasn’t forced. I didn’t find myself pacing around.]

14:16 taking a break to write. Heart rate is exceptionally high, higher than what I’m used to. [My smartwatch informed me of high heart rate of 120-122 at 13:28. It felt like my heart was pounding in my chest even though I was lying down. I knew about this effect from previous experiences with MDMA so it did not frighten me. My jaw felt like it was clenching up but it was easier to consciously relax it than previous experiences with MDMA. I don’t remember my body feeling particularly lighter or heavier.]

I finally feel like I’ve made headway in getting over the two friendships that ended. I’ve realized that there is nothing that I can do except for being a good person and treating others with upmost kindness. It is completely up to them if I am to have a presence in their lives and while I can dwell on it, I don’t need to and no amount of dwelling will MAKE them my friends again.

[I took a break from the session to talk with my roommate who I heard in the kitchen. I verbally expressed my gratitude for having him as a roommate, and my gratitude for how compatible of roommates we are. After talking with him, I rejoined the session and we were taking a break so I had an opportunity to verbally express my gratitude for having a means in which to interact with them on a daily basis and to have them in my life. I felt like it was very easy to be completely honest, and to also point out harmful patterns of speech that were unknowingly perpetuated, such as an inside joke that actually was making fun of someone, or a nickname that an individual not present did not actually like being called.]

15:16 took 2C-B. It was quite bitter. [The AD&D session was wrapping up at this point and we were mostly talking.]

15:53 under weighted blanket, feel incredible contentness and relaxation. The weighted blanket feels so good. [My skin still felt very warm but also the sweat chilled my skin. I felt moist underneath the blanket. My vision was not changing much, except maybe the colors being a little bit brighter. I eventually felt dysphoria associated with talking with my friends and decided that it was time to take a look into desire.]

17:39 some mild urine retention. Thinking I’m getting through fetters 4 and 5. It’s clear that there’s not something that’s interpreting experience, it is merely being reached [correction: reacted] to [autonomously. The 2-CB was kicking in at this point, with wavy visuals and a feeling of sinking deep into something being present.]

18:34 deeper looking into fetters 4 and 5, still urinary retention but it is getting better. I have spent the better part of an hour looking for something that is interpreting what is happening and reacting to what is happening and cannot find anything.

There’s just the sense information and reactions to it without an inner-referencing or at the very least not one that can be found in this body.

I also can’t find something that “feels a certain way” or at the very least feeling a certain way about something feels artificial and empty. There’s thoughts and memories of the voice mail saying that the [graduate school] cohort wants to fuck me but I can’t find a reason to imagine what that will be like or imagine how I should act.

[haha context here: the day before this trip, I received a voicemail from an unknown number that I recognized as the voice of someone in my graduate school cohort saying that the whole cohort wanted to fuck me. It was unexpected but not exactly surprising and not the first time a situation like this came up.]

Past this, I did not record anything else in real-time.

19:00+: continued taking supplements, ate some crabcakes, and thoroughly stretched out my body. I went into a child’s pose and it felt like every cell of my being was cosmically aligned with a higher power, even down to every perceived flaw such as a persistent tightness in my hip. This higher power felt like my conception of Allah and the closed eye visuals looked like the geometric patterns that decorate the inside of domes in mosques. My body felt incredibly responsive and easy to take notice of.

Overall, there was not much of a perceived difference between the MDMA wearing off, and the 2C-B kicking in. It did not feel like two substances like a candy flip does for me. It felt like one experience of a single drug , closer to an extended experience of MDMA than an extended experience of 2C-B. 2C-B certainly oriented me to dealing with important matters after I took it, however.

I do not recall shivering, muscles twitching, bloodshot eyes, or a dry mouth. My pupils were massive during the experience.

I felt no difficulties concentrating, though I would get off-topic easier because of heightened associative thinking. No noticeable dissociation. Thoughts were generally quieter throughout the experience. I felt free from old thinking patterns that made me feel stuck in regards to those two friendships ending.

Throughout the experience, I felt like I was held up by a foundation of love. All disappointment or sadness was in the context of a greater love. I felt at peace, happy, and excited for the next moment and the opportunity to practice what I had learned.

I felt like I was more connected with others, particularly my roommate and the people who I was playing AD&D with. I also felt more connected with the people in my graduate program. I felt a lot of love for all of the people in my life.

I could communicate easier than normal. Compassion naturally made its way out via my mouth. It felt effortless to talk about difficult topics or confront people in a nonjudgmental manner.

I did not feel bored, and I also felt very patient during the hours long stretching session I had, feeling no urge to check my phone.

3 weeks retrospection:

Overall impression of the trip is overwhelmingly positive. Prior to this trip I believed it impossible to import this kind of realizations from intoxication to sobriety, as other times I have felt desires fade away, they returned in nearly full-strength the day or days after. I believe a lot of it came down to doing the work beforehand and using the substances to do some honest looking. If it feels right again, I do not discount taking this substance again.

Listening to myself and leaving the call with my friends to do some introspection was a good choice in my opinion.

Something that did not work was attending the online session during the trip. I pressured myself to attend and that used up valuable time that could have otherwise been used for focused relaxation and introspection. Something that it retrospectively solidified in me is that I much prefer interacting with people in-person. It takes more time but it feels so much more meaningful and easier to see the human side of people.

The experience 100% had lasting value. The realization that there is nothing inside that is between what is happening and what happens next is not something that can be unseen. There’s less of a sense of interpretation of experience that gives rise to desire nowadays. Conditions like physical exhaustion will make me feel weaker in these assertions but every time I look the same way I did during the trip, I see it again.

In June, I took 4-AcO-DMT and MDMA with the same intention as this trip, with no meaningful progress on the inquiry. I cannot confidently say that this substance pair yields unique results in introspection yet, but so far it is looking like that is the case.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 118829
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Jul 12, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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MDMA (3), 2C-B (52) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Personal Preparation (45), Combinations (3)