DOSE: T+ 0:00	40 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(pill / tablet)
T+ 3:30	40 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(pill / tablet)
T+ 10:25	80 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(pill / tablet)
T+ 14:20	100 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

209 lb

Background: My psychiatrist has prescribed me Adderall for my ADHD. I have a history of addiction, namely to benzodiazepines and deliriants, however I have also found myself addicted to stimulants as well. My psychiatrist called in my Adderall, prescribed twice a day, and I received XR pills instead of IR on accident. I then had the IR called in so I would be taking one XR in the morning, and one IR in the afternoon. My dosages are 20mg for the XR and 20mg for the IR. Long story short, I ended up with a lot of extra XRs.

I am a 22 year old male, 209lbs and 5'6" tall. I have schizoaffective disorder bipolar type, ADHD, and BPD as well as a few other diagnoses. I will be recounting the day up until now and then continuing to write on my experience as I go.

P.S. I have a high tolerance from abusing Adderall regularly in addition to the fact I take it daily.


Trip report (04/15/2025):

9:30am • Took 40mg of Adderall XR (I had been combining the "morning and afternoon" dose of the XR, since it didn't make sense to take a second one in the afternoon). At this point I hadn't had my IR called in yet. I felt the come-up about an hour in, where I began to feel slightly aroused, with slight chills throughout my arms and feet. When I take this dose, albeit a bit high, I can focus and get things done either around the house or outside running errands smoothly with no issue.

Once this come-up was done, I found it easy to stay awake and alert, and it felt a bit good.

At about 12:45pm, I picked up my prescription of IR. Knowing myself, I wanted to take one or two.

1:00 pm • I chewed 40mg of Adderall IR (two pills) before I even got home. I genuinely had forgotten I took two XRs instead of one, but at this point the prescription regimen had just changed. It had a chalky taste, and I mean chalky, but slightly sweet. While chewing, I let the crushed pill sit in my saliva for a moment before swallowing.

I immediately felt aroused again, and a great buzz. I entered my house and would begin drawing for hours. During this time, I experienced pupil dilation, vasoconstriction (where my body felt chills all over again), a fresh burst of alertness, and bronchodilation. This made my nose runny, sniffling often.

During the time between 1pm and 8pm, I ate lunch and dinner (both meals seeming to either have no effect on my high, or slightly dampening it). I drew on my tablet, and watched TV, although I couldn't focus well on television as much as I could the drawing. I also did a little bit of my reading for college, but got sidetracked. I find that at this point my focus was beginning to blur and time seemed to move very fast.

7:55pm • Close enough to 8pm, I ingested another 80mg of XR. I couldn't locate my IR, as my wife had set it aside. It would have been preferable though.

I had to wait about another hour (~9 to 9:30pm) to feel any sort of rush. I am nervous and guilty at this point in time. My anxiety begins to climb, and I get paranoid of being "found out". I highly regret my choices here, as I had been taking my doses on-time and appropriately for a while. I am actively in recovery from drug addiction, and a slip-up like this had me feeling overwhelmed and nervous. I tried to relax by drawing some more, and spending time with my wife. It worked.

11:50pm • I ingested yet another 100mg of XR (5 pills). I had thought about it, told myself I shouldn't, and did it anyways. I highly regret it at this point, doing any of it from the time I took the 40mg IR onwards. My pupils were well dilated, my anxiety increasing, and a headache began to form. I can tell my heartbeat was beginning to speed up and was abnormal. My skin and sensory perceptions are sensitive: when I scratch an itch or crack my joints, chills run throughout my entire body.

SIDE NOTE: This reminds me of a time where I had been running on 2-4 hours of sleep, and ingested well over 200mg of Adderall between IR and XR last summer (2024). I ended up in psychosis while at college, and had to drive home (only 6 minutes) like that, hallucinating and paranoid. Things were discolored, distorted, and I had experienced hallucinations that my car was smoking and also the police passing me. My food wiggled when I looked at it. It was extremely freaky. You would think this would have made me shy away from taking it in such extreme doses anymore, but it's addicting. I can't stop.

1:15am • I am sitting here now, my body chilly and my nose slightly runny. My pupils are still dilated beyond belief and my head hurts. I don't know if I'll be sleeping tonight. All I know is that I am alone, it is dark, my house is quiet, and all I have is me and my thoughts and silence right now. I am afraid. I don't know if my psychosis is acting up, if this is simply just how the medication is making me feel, or both. Luckily, with my schizoaffective disorder, I don't experience hallucinations as much as I do the paranoia and delusions. Yet that just means the paranoia and delusions are intense. Do I wish I could repeat this? No. Is it worth it? No. Was it ever worth it? No. Am I going to be in trouble? Likely.

My jaw is clenching. I feel like I should try and sleep, but I know I probably can't. I can't focus on drawing anymore. I want to do my schoolwork to distract myself but I don't know if I can. And, the kicker to all of this, I don't want to "waste the high" so I feel obligated to stay up and ride it out. I'm sweating.

I have beyond screwed myself over, especially tonight. I'm sorry. I have guilt and remorse. Addiction isn't pretty or fun; it just ruins my life from the ground up, starting with myself. Once I fell victim, everything around me turned to Hell. I'm sorry. Geez.

1:35am • I'm going to end this report here. I will likely not sleep tonight, but if I do, I will wake up with some definite after-effects such as headache, abnormal and fast-paced heartbeat, sweating, and still my jaw will clench. These effects I know I will experience, and it will not be pleasant.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 118876
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Jun 11, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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