DOSE:

50 mg

insufflated

DPT

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

42 kg

Today was not a pleasant day, I failed in some things. I didn't know what to do, so I decided to take some DPT, hoping it would help me treat my life in a new way.

I insufflated 50mg DPT with a short straw, and there was no strong burning or pain as expected, but it was indeed very uncomfortable. The powder seemed to stick to the throat, and every swallowing was accompanied by a nauseating bitterness and a sensation of foreign body irritation. I tried drinking some soda to eliminate it, but it didn't work and I still feel uncomfortable swallowing. Very sick. I think it's time to lie down in bed.

T+15
The chemicals gradually took effect, and the characters on the screen kept twisting. I felt a bit dizzy, and the world seemed to sway slightly like waves.

Then...tide was raising.

I covered myself with a blanket and saw that my body seemed to be twisting into a black mist. I might be trembling and my heart might be beating fast. I want to calm myself down and accept everything, but I can't. In a trance, I seemed to see a white divine face floating in the center of the dark void. When I realized what I might have seen, all I had in my heart was the fear of something eternal and noble. Don't. Let me go. Let me go. Let me go. I feel like my thoughts are drifting towards the distance, and I can still hear the noise outside the window, which briefly reminds me of reality time and time again.

My spirit began to crumble from this moment on. Everything is so scary. I feel like I am irreversibly heading towards madness. I opened my eyes and escaped from the darkness, desperately sending a large number of distress messages to my friends on communication software.

Help me, I'm going crazy. save me. save me. save me. I'm crazy. save me. save me. save me. hurry up. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, it's too late.

I was completely immersed in fear and madness. I am afraid of everything that is happening and going to happen. I realize that I still lack reverence for chemicals. My spirit is about to be destroyed. I can't bear to continue lying down anymore. I get up and want to use various methods to get the medication out of my body because I don't want to continue at all. This probably didn't have much effect, I just made the floor full of water. Then I went to the bathroom, where the space was distorted in an exaggerated perspective, resembling a fisheye lens. I knelt on the ground and prayed for a moment, repeatedly telling myself that this was just the effect of serotonin, and that some of it would pass. I opened the curtains because some of them were too dark and I needed some light.

I continued to lie in bed and turned on the music again, trying to make myself feel better, but I couldn't enjoy the music or feel any peace. I kept increasing and decreasing the volume repeatedly, and the music troubled my mood. I wanted some peace, but when the music turned off, I hoped it could guide me from the abyss.

I feel an unstoppable power of nobility, moving forward like a giant wave in the buzzing sound, shattering everything about me. I can't bear to continue, I don't want to indulge anymore. I want to fight against it, I pick up my phone urgently and want to call my friend X. I felt the bell ringing for a long time, but it finally connected. I feel like I've never been so helpless before, and I implore her not to hang up the phone or leave me alone. The sound of X seems to be the only connection between me and the world. I fell onto the bed. I feel like I've been spread out and imprinted on the street. I feel like a half dead ghost. I kept asking my friends how long it had been and why only a few minutes had passed, hoping that time would take away my medicinal effects as soon as possible.

T+60
Afterwards, I gradually accepted myself and gradually lost my fear. Because I realized that it wouldn't take me further away, the worst moment had already passed. I can understand my situation, be aware of and control my actions. But my mind is in chaos. I think I understand Nietzsche, I understand what it feels like to be a madman. I also called someone I haven't been in touch with for a long time and I received a not gentle response for that.

I have almost no illusions or interesting experiences. DPT did not take me to the universe, nor did it allow me to see a magical world. It only brings me fear and madness, and then throws me into reality. Take away half of my soul and leave the remaining half to suffer in the world. I have always been trapped in my rental house.

This may be due to the dosage I took not being sufficient to completely detach myself from reality, but I would never want to try a higher dosage, I can't imagine what would happen. I don't think I gained anything valuable from this experience, the only thing I learned is never to commit suicide through chemical substances. DPT forces me to confront my fear of death. This may be somewhat akin to a near death experience, as I feel like everything about to be taken away. I am grateful that I am not taking a substance that will truly cause me to die. I still have a chance to return to the noisy world and a chance to recover. But one day, I have to.

T+120
The medicinal effect dissipated in an inconspicuous manner. I gradually recovered from the chaos and returned to the dim reality. Nothing has changed, my life has only become worse.
Fuck, I feel like everything is fucked up.
I'm going to have some hot water.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 119325
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Dec 3, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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DPT (21) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)