DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 g	oral	Mushrooms	(dried)
T+ 1:50	1 g	oral	Mushrooms	(dried)
T+ 0:00		oral	Cannabidiol	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

70 kg

I am a 36 year old female living close to Germany, in a medium urban area surrounded with nature. I first took mushrooms in the late spring of 2025. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon at home and it was quite improvised. I had just read a great book, James Fadiman’s the Psychedelic’s Explorers Guide and I had been very much inspired by this book to try psychedelics. I had mushrooms in my possession since I had started micro-dosing a few weeks ago as a way to re-wire some parts of my brain which were kind of blocked in a grey area loaded with fear, anxiety and a bit still of a lack of motivation for life. I had never taken psychedelics my whole life and was never a stimulant user neither, I only knew marijuana which I had smoked on several occasions and only like low doses of cannabis indica. I was also taking CBD orally every day for its anti-inflammatory and relaxing properties and felt that humanity had co-evolved with plants so much that CBD was more or less a necessary molecule for the human body to thrive.

Mindset and setting : I was at home and felt secure knowing that my husband was there and that I did not have anything to do that day. I am a very “responsible” person and it is difficult for me to enjoy a free day without any responsibility. This day was to be a day of freedom. I felt inspired to try ingesting a light to normal dose of mushrooms in order to unblock my brain. I had spend most of my childhood in a bad state of anxiety and depression. Now I was doing tremendously better but still thought that mushrooms, judging by the great results I was getting by micro-dosing them (they were everything that anti-depressant promised to be, but weren’t, without experiencing any negative side effect !), could be a great tool for progress and self development.

My home is filled with items and tapestries from the 50s to the 70s and happens to have a lot of psychedelic patterns and objects. It also happens to be surrounded by a 360 degree garden which I have filled to the brim with flowers, trees, shrubs that I myself planted etc. I would experiment all of that with brand new eyes that day under the influence of these great teachers.

I had also started seeing a great therapist/ shrink a few months back whose insights were very close to that which I read in Fadiman’s book from psychedelic users who used mushooms or LSD for therapeutic goals and felt very inspired to get to know myself with this new tool and the books from Krishnamurti which I was reading these days. The weather was very sunny and hot which would contribute to my hazy experience with shrooms.

Dosage and timing information : I started at around 1pm that day and ingested about 1 gram of dried mushrooms. Prior to that I had eaten mainly vegetables and juices the days before and had fasted that day and then eaten watermelon. Now I always feel that I need to be clean on the inside before taking shrooms and I like to basically take them on an empty stomach. I like the taste of them and can chew them without any disgust. I had told my husband that I would take mushrooms but he is totally inexperienced in psychedelics so I had to explain to him how to behave with me as a trip sitter. We were both inexperienced trip wise. Hopefully he is a gentle and motherly soul and even if he was a bit worried, he was ready to try his best in assisting me if needed.

After ingesting the shrooms, I started getting busy and did some yoga on my mat, stretching and being one with the feeling in my body. I felt that this was a good enough, sacred occupation while waiting for the sacred teachers to kick in. I felt like taking the shrooms was like a sacred initiation or something. Then went to look at some old photographs and books in a room.

Time must have passed and probably around 1.30pm, I noticed that the clouds on the tapestry were in 3D and had a translucent, rainbowy appearance. I called my husband to ask him why the tapestry had changed color and he told me it hadn’t. It is then I knew the teachers had kicked in and this put me in tremendous joy.

After that, at around 1.45pm, I started busting with laughter and becoming uncontrollably joyous and happy. It was as if the sacred mushrooms knew that I had had a terrible childhood and teenage and a difficult early adulthood, filled with sadness and fear and that after building myself I needed to experiment at 36 pure unadulterated joy to see how life was magical ! The teacher made it a mission to mend my broken heart and to make me as happy as a child ! I had eventually regained a certain childlike quality and the teacher was making feel the pure magic that a young child perceives. After that, I started becoming hysterical with laughter. My husband was on the phone with someone and I kept on interrupting and laughing and running everywhere like a manic 5 years old.

At about 2pm I went outside in the garden. I normally already love nature so much but right now being in nature was pure godly magic. I started touching succulents and remember feeling that they were sticky and seeing them moving. I remember vividly that everything felt sticky and gooey and that it was very hot that day and that I was being thrown into a frenzy of joy and excitement. I could see the bees buzzing and it felt as if divine electricity was in the air and that everything was one and that I was floating in that oneness. My garden became a garden of Eden and I must have touched every plant growing in my garden laughing. I went to the front part of the garden, where the alley meets the entrance and I remember having a deep conversation with perennial geranium. The flowers where birthing and dying in an accelerated dance, making me reflect on a kind of archetypal dance of life and death. I felt part of a miracle way bigger than my small ego. Some flowers kept talking with me. I was so close to them but can’t remember today what they told me. I liked the stickiness of plants and of things, like a divine vital sap telling me that I was one with Nature, that Nature was God and that I could literally feel its pulse. I was running around very excitedly and had some point I met my cat and he looked violet and not black as he normally is and very soft like the feathers of a bird. I also couldn’t comprehend why he moved the way he moved and I laid on my back and started mimicking him as if I were him. There were no differences between my cat and I, I was him and he was me. Time spent it the garden felt like an eternity, as if time had stopped and I was in a paradise like state.

2.30pm I was covered in cat hair when I stood up and just like that I went inside and took a warm shower fully dressed. Feeling the heat felt like everything was the same temperature and I was all the more on with the rest of the world since it was all very hot and living and sweaty and gooey. Life is sticky I thought, stickiness if Life and God is sticky and gooey. My hair felt sticky and I liked being wet with water. I liked the heat, the stickiness, I felt alive, my pulse beating at one with the whole of the Universe. Then I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that I looked like a mushroom with a red nose. I called my husband and told him “that’s crazy, I have become the mushroom, look what a good mushroom I am”.

2.40pm Everything in our living room made sense. Our whole house is filled with authentic 60s items and the visuals I was seeing were amazing. Our kitchen also made sense, the huge 3D psychedelic orange flowers went 4D and started dancing. We put Jefferson Airplane and then I was mesmerized by a Pink Floyd’s album. I started looking at the covers of vinyl’s from the 60s and it was all making perfect sense. A lot of them mimicked the effects of psychedelics and now that I had taken some, I knew, and the visual effects were even crazier. I laid on the ground in a ray of sunshine and went into spiritual trance listening to the Pink Floyds.

2.50 pm Then I decided it was a good idea to take some more mushrooms since the trip was so magical and joyous. I took maybe 1 more gram and tried to eat watermelon. I threw up the watermelon. I wasn’t nauseous but I couldn’t eat. After that it went downhill a bit and I started bad tripping because I heard my husband being sick in the toilets. Back then I did not know yet if was a mere inflammatory bowel syndrome triggered by stressful events and mourning in my husband’s life and that it would all be under control. I suddenly knew that my husband was hiding a very serious life-threatening disease from me and that it was probably colorectal cancer and that he would die soon. I became totally paranoid. Retrospectively I can say know that it showed me how and in what ways I was so attached to him maybe because all my family are dead but I got crazy. I told him to swear to me that he wasn’t dying maybe a 100 times and I did not believe him.

3.20pm The bigger shrooms dosed kicked in while I was still under the influence of the first one and it added up in my bloodstream way too strong. I went inside the bedroom. We spent some time laughing and chatting but I was still feeling paranoid. I wasn’t clear enough that no sex was to be had under the influence of shrooms. I had already unwillingly broken the rule of not talking about bad health under shrooms and was becoming paranoid. I felt that I couldn’t say no to my husband even if he is extremely gentle and would never force me because I felt that taking shrooms was my (bad?) decision and that he shouldn’t suffer consequences (I was feeling guilty for “doing drugs”, the old propaganda had worked).

We had sex and my limbs seemed huge and I hate to say that but my genitals seemed huge too and sex was scary and weird. Being naked after sex, I felt that I was about to become crazy and was unable to dress up. I couldn’t explain to my husband how poorly I felt. I normally never feel bad having sex or afterwards and don’t have any related trauma. But right now I felt that I had to call an ambulance because I was losing it. I couldn’t focus and I was scared because my ego was losing control. I was afraid I would get stuck in that state of mind and that I would never be able to turn the light on again or to dress up. My therapist would probably come and see me naked after sex and judge me and lock me up and I wouldn’t be able to go to work anymore.

4.30 pm I know that my husband has tried to reassure me but I couldn’t remember what he was saying. I was unable to focus and the strength of the effect of the teacher scared me a lot. I was sure that he would die soon. His disease was cancer. He was hiding it and I was becoming crazy. After his death I would be utterly alone and would die alone because I would be too crazy to take care of myself. But still I could live in the house and I would have roof under my head. I tried to drink and eat watermelon but I threw it up again.

6 pm I wanted the trip to stop but I was having crazy visuals, everything was orange, my husband had big eyes and everything was distorted. I paced in the house and walked around in circles. >I was feeling panicked. I was seeing myself and my husband in a loop of living and dying and couldn’t have a single focused thought. It was getting so bad that I decided to lay on the couch close to my husband who was in the kitchen and to force myself to doze off. This helped a lot. I was seeing crazy fractals and huge life and death visions, rather scary, but feeling anchored in our living room and the reassuring presence of my husband reassured me. I must have slept for a while.

7 pm When I woke up, I felt that I was landing back in life, almost reborn, and that I wasn’t crazy after all. Seeing that time wasn’t stuck and that it was late afternoon was great too. My vision was still a bit distorted but nothing compared to before; I cried and told my husband how much I loved him and that we couldn’t be apart.

7.30 pm We have eaten a very light meal, I was feeling amazing. I went to sleep for a while, I was exhausted as if I was coming back from a huge galactic trip after nearing death in outer space. I was also feeling like an initiate of some sort of sacred ritual from deep down the ages.

10 pm Late in the evening we went for a bike ride that was amazing. I was still in the same clothes, small short, a tee-shirt, the weather was warm, the countryside, seeing the trees was really reassuring and I felt that now I know their secret. I felt so one with nature and everything surrounding. It felt good to be alive. I felt connected.

I 100% did not regret trying a bigger dose of shrooms. In the aftermath and for months afterwards I felt deeply connected and felt the magic of life. I also feel like I could feel what advanced yogis or Krishnamurti are talking about feeling one, there is no separation between ourselves and the world. There is no other. We float in cosmic consciousness.

I also learned a few things the hard way : no sex for me on shrooms, I don’t know why but I cannot handle it and feel like triggers some sort of ancient force that makes me crazy !!! I also understood that I need to get a very accurate scale but haven’t found it yet and made the same mistake a second time (but without any bad trip this second time !!!)

I pinned a quotation of my wall “Magic is as real as the magical is real”. I discussed with my husband his role as a trip sitter and he was still very worried that something would happen to us while I was under the influence. I felt slightly guilty to want to experiment psychedelics but I know that my husband is very open-minded and loving. I will guide him towards understanding that they are not “drugs” but mind expanding sacred teachers. I notice that I have become more expressive of my love, a bit more patient, even more curious and that I wanted ( and managed) to watch tv even less in the aftermath, wanting to replace it with real life (knitting, cooking, running, reading etc.). I also have more ease waking up early which was still a residual difficulty from my years of depression.

Exp Year: 2025	ExpID: 119332
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 36
Published: Nov 13, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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