Citation: Morninggloryseed. "Live in the Here and Now: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp12732)". Erowid.org. Feb 19, 2002. erowid.org/exp/12732
5-MeO-DMT has proven to be one of the more difficult-to-describe entheogens I have sampled. It has also shown itself to be one of the best (or at least the most meaningful) materials I have ever worked with.
After quite a bit of research and mental preparation, my friend and I set aside an evening to try it. Approximately 3 of the 10 mg I had placed in my trusty pyro-analytical device vaporized that first time under the sky near some trees. The effects from the delicious, fragrant smoke were similar effects to a small dose of mushrooms, but with a bit more nausea. I was told by the voice within that my soul was not clean. The reason was due to my on-again, off-again relationship with pain pills. There was a distinct spiritual aspect to the material, in the sense that I felt like who I am was actually part of a higher and greater presence than myself. I was very impressed. The entire trip occurred over the space of about ten minutes.
My friend insisted that I had more to learn that night, and he encouraged me to finish what was left in the pipe. I agreed. This time I was inside on a chair. My friend turned off the light and within 10 seconds of taking in that tasty smoke, it was apparent that the ride was going to be intense. First, I heard these weird sounds that could be described as 'buzzing and ringing tryptamine noises.' Then, those sounds began to rip my vision, and the very fabric of the universe, wide open. I experienced the frequently described sensation of speeding by in a freight train or being shot out on a rocket ship. I lay down on the ground and was instantly immersed into a world that consisted solely of my ego. It was as though I was swimming in an ocean of myself. The intensity was beyond belief.
Suddenly, a choice was given to me; accept all aspects of myself, my life (good and bad) and be in peace or… resist who I am, reject those aspects that comprise me, and face utter terror. I chose acceptance. Instantly, I was held in the arms of god/the universe and told all was well! I basically surrendered myself completely to the experience and just let go in the faith that I was being taken care of by god/the universe. Then, I swam through this universe of love, white light, and visions that transcend well beyond my realm of vocabulary. The experience was absolutely and unspeakably beautiful. A classic +4 peak/mystical experience.
The peak, which I call a flash, lasted only about ten minutes. After that, the effects resembled those of any other psychedelic. There were intense trails, detailed color, and a generally 'trippy' look to the world. I also felt a distinct MDMA-like quality, having a distinct feeling of oneness with the universe. It was very, very spiritual.
All in all, 5-MeO-DMT was nothing like I expected. This is no doubt good material and I am very impressed. At no time did I feel even a hint of fear, though I could see the experience being quite terrifying if I resisted the effects. I was held in the hands of the universe and shown unconditional love and acceptance. I became the universe. Then the universe had an orgasm. What a blissful experience.
My second experience occurred some time later. Several months had past between the two trips and I felt again ready to meet with the universe. This time I was by myself. The dose was again 10 mg. I took myself, my pipe of 5-MeO-DMT, my CD player with the Pink Floyd song ‘Fearless’ loaded and ready to go and made my way outside and sat in a chair besides a tree. I took all of the material in one hit, I held it in, I pressed ‘play’ on the machine, and I exhaled…
I remember NOTHING of what happened next. There is a period of about seven minutes (the length of the song ‘Fearless’) where I completely blacked out. I eventually became aware of myself again and found myself lying on the ground a few feet from where I originally was sitting. The song was over.
At first I had no clue as to what had happened. The world around me was distorted beyond recognition but slowly coming back together. It seemed as though I had been teleported from somewhere else…like I had been spit out from one dimension to the next. Then ‘San Tropez’ (the next song) started to play and I suddenly remembered that I’d just smoked 5-MeO-DMT.
Suddenly I was filled with just the greatest feeling of life and existence. It’s grand to be alive! I was outside underneath the sun looking at the grass and trees and it perhaps was the most appreciative I had ever been of nature. Everything was alive and communicating. Suddenly I was remembering some of the concepts my girlfriend always tells me…Be Mindful. Psychedelics don’t usually automatically change a person, but by taking the lessons we learn from a trip and applying them to our daily lives, we can make the lessons manifest themselves in our actions. This was the message of ‘being mindful’.
Be mindful of all of your actions. Be mindful of how you conduct yourself with regard to other people. Am I being the best man I can be today? If I am then I will be a good man tomorrow. By being mindful of myself, I can shape my future in a positive direction which brings to mind another lesson; live in the ‘here’ and ‘now.’ You can’t change the past and it is foolish to focus or worry too much about the future. Fretting over the things we can not change (the past) or the things we can not always control (the future) lead to stress in the present. Stress changes behavior and thus you can end up influencing and changing what would/could happen down the road otherwise. The future is the product of today; thus our actions today shape what happens tomorrow.
I truly felt as though I had ‘regrouped’ after this experience. As if I ended it all and started again with a clean slate. It was a cleansing experience to the highest degree and I literally got down on my knees and thanked the universe for my existence and the knowledge and lessons I was shown.
As of today, five months after the last experience, I have not touched 5-MeO-DMT again. It is to be saved for only those occasions when I feel myself going off the path again. When I forget to take the time to be mindful of myself. When I need to regroup again.
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