DOSE:

1080 mg

oral

DXM

(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

PREFACE: The title is not meant to scare, but rather to illuminate. I was not ready for what I experienced, but I wanted to share my story to serve possibly as a preparation guide for any introspective experience on DXM. I do not recommend DXM for any other purpose, though, as similar low-level effects can be achived on other drugs less harmful to the brain, and I actually find these lower-level effects quite frustrating, annoying, and sad. I also don't necessarily recommend this drug to anyone who has trouble coping with this reality already.
*********************************

After having experienced what I thought was a first level plateau on DXM, I decided that I'd like to try it again, with a much higher dose. My friend had mentioned, 'staring at a white wall for hours, but thinking I was in a desert, talking with merchants and watching camels.' I thought, 'Great! Hallucinations,' as they are my favorite drug effect. We went to the market and purchased 7 bottles of Robitussin Maximum Strength Cough between the two of us. His girlfriend purchased two. The last time he had used it, it was in pure form, but the effects are apparently similar if not precisely equal when in Robo-form.

After drinking three bottles, I became nauseated very quickly, as did my friend and his girlfriend. They both vomitted, but still experienced what they described to be good sensory effects. I chose, however, to writhe in pain for what seemed like many hours but ended up being one about 45 minutes, the results of which turned out to be the most beautiful and priceless effects of any drug I've ever used.

What began with visuals similar to mushroom tripping quickly turned into what my friend later told me [and what I've read since] could eqate a 4th level plateau experience. We were sitting on the beach [abou 2 minutes walking distance from our home at the time], and I remember setting up a blanket and then falling on my back and being swallowed by Nothing. I was no longer able to associate myself with anything, any concept of World. I was no longer able to move or feel my body. I was in the middle of what I can only describe as Color. Not a specific color, not a discernable color, but what, in retrospect seems best fitting of Color in its purest form. My mind was processing thousands of thoughts about itself at this time, and althought I am unable to recall the results of any of these processes, I have definitely walked away with a completely new understanding of myself which I am still picking through.

This period was very brief. A half an hour maximum, but was followed by what seemed to be decades [but was actually only three hours or so]. During this second period, which I can compare to what people have described as third plateau, I was still disassociated from my reality, with an occassional peppering of my reality [each time I was in a slightly different location... sitting in a different spot, etc.]. Aside from these touches with reality, I was existing in a different world. Again, color was not color. It was Color; concurrently every color and no color.

I died many times. I experienced what could perhaps be best described as an afterlife; one which I had not believed in before the experience. The settings in which I existend only ever consisted of a single visual plane, as if I was looking at a postcard, perhaps. But the shapes, colors, etc. were nothing like those our real world. They had ultimate Purpose to say the least.

To return to my multiple deaths. I am still uncertain as to how I could explain them otherwise... they were never rebirths, but always deaths. I would be alone, in a setting, thousands of thoughts clicking to their other halves in my mind, to histories with which I was previously unfamiliar, and they would suddenly all halt, and my consciousness would be sucked into a new version of me, one already existing in action, in a particular setting, but while I was certain it was still ME there was always something dramatically different. The process repeated over and over. I was unable to comprehend the fact that DXM was in my system. It seemed oddly 'right' that I was sitting whereever I might be at the time of each death; it seemd oddly 'proper' to be unaware and aware of Everything and Nothing at the exact same time....

After this, I spent nearly 5 hours in a state of ultimate panic in our actual reality. I have never experienced something similar to my time spent on DXM [but I will be exploring my Self further in about a month and perhaps every month or two from now on], but this period is something that I can only describe as living in a state of Down Syndrome. My brain was fully funtional, I was in this world, but my brain would not allow my body to move as I wanted it to; I jerked, stumbled, etc. I could not see objects as they were; they shook, doubled and tripled, gyrated, etc. I could not complete words and sentences in my mouth, although I could in my mind. My flesh was completely numb. My tongue was numb. This is apparently 2nd plateau, something I thought I was going to remain in for the rest of my life, because my friend had not explained the 'come down' and I spent MANY hours like this. DO NOT WORRY, IT WILL PASS. I cannot stress this enough because I felt at time, 'I must kill myself. There is no way for me exist like this... able to function in my brain, but unable to get my body to work with my brain.' But every time I thought such, it was followed by a thought of, 'Wait, I can't. I don't want to kill me. I want to kill THIS [in reference to the non-functioning body housing my consciousness].

It is now approx. 36 hours from my initial drinking of the cough syrup [something I'd like to steer away from in favor of pure DXM in the future]. My eyes still have a 'cloudy' feeling to them. My body is still a bit numb, but otherwise I am completely fine.

To conclude, the words I just wrote above in NO WAY WHATSOEVER describe what my experience was like on Dextromethorphan. You will only understand that these words up until the 2nd plateau cannot describe the experience once you too have tried it. I find, though that 2nd and 1st plateau experiences are horrible, though. They put me in a state NO ONE deserves to permenantly exist in... I feel that they should be considering the 'side-effects' of the wonderful introspection offered by DXM.

However, my friends described me as looking 'in pain, frightened, scared, tormented, etc.' the entire time I was on my 4th and 3rd level experiences, and I cannot say that I felt otherwise. But it was still such an amazing experience that I will walk away without having learned something of incredible importance afterwards.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 12854
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 10, 2005	Views: 28,853
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