Citation: Anonymous. "Heaven, Hell and Lost Friendships: An Experience with LSD, MDMA (Ecstasy), & 5-MeO-DMT (exp13001)". Erowid.org. May 22, 2002. erowid.org/exp/13001
Last spring, I rolled frequently with my boyfriend and my old friend Ms. X. Once, at her apartment in Philadelphia, we rinsed out a LSD vial I had recently finished. We all ended up tripping on about 500 mics each. [Erowid Note: estimations of microgram dosages of LSD are usually baseless.]
Ms. X is a devout Catholic. Her beliefs came to play a major role in how she responded to the dose of LSD. She found herself play-acting as the Christian devil, daring me to look out the window and give up my soul to her.
I belong to a goddess-centered, non-Christian, church and I did not take part in her spiritual experience (my spirit guides, who at the time were visible to me, made it clear that I was not to participate). We later talked about the Christian concept of 'sin' and how this idea motivated her to use self-destructive behavior to test her own faith.
A few months later, we were in Toronto for my birthday. We smuggled a few decent ecstasy pills and some 5-MeO-DMT across the border in order to party in my hotel room. We were rolling quite hard, blanketed by chemical love, when we smoked the 5-MeO-DMT. While my boyfriend did not have a peak experience, I was reasonably saturated and found time moving very slowly.
Ms. X was unfamiliar with the substance and her only prior strong psychedelic trip was the aforementioned LSD. Upon smoking about 15 mg. of the powder, she began to think that she was dying and tried to climb out a 17th story hotel room window. She later told me that she felt her soul leave her body and had an intense religious experience concerning death. I physically restrained her from committing suicide and when she returned to her body she started vomiting in the bathroom.
Again, her Catholic beliefs about guilt and sin became crucial to the effects she felt. I talked with her, held her and encouraged her to let the fear she was experiencing leave her body. When she stopped vomiting, she became euphoric and started talking about how there was really a cure for cancer (a close relative of hers had died of the disease a long time ago).
While I had a pleasant birthday, the experience of smoking the 5-MeO-DMT while rolling was clearly very intense for her. About a month later, I was coldly informed by Ms. X that she no longer wished to have any contact with me or my boyfriend. She felt that we did not respect her religious preference and had basically been threatening her on a psychic level. It became clear that my lack of participation in the Christian oriented scenes she experienced while on strong doses of psychedelics had led her to become paranoid about our friendship. We talked with her, and tried to communicate our care and respect for her, but there has been no further contact.
I have given drugs to many people in the hope that they would help pull them out of certain head traps in the way that they have helped me, and have some experience with guiding individuals through strong trips. However, last year I had both this experience and a similar ones involving the use of MDMA, 2CB, AMT, DPT, 5-Me0-DMT, 5-Me0-DiPT and large amounts of cannabis in which old friends of mine with pronounced, unconscious Christian beliefs determined that I was trying to invade their spiritual privacy and there was another suicide attempt.
I have never attempted to alter the religious preferences of my friends in any way, psychically or otherwise. In both cases, the crucial factor in the extreme behavior of the affected people was my not participating in specifically Christian scenes that came to them while under the influence of strong psychedelics. I believe that it is inappropriate to take part in spiritual behavior one does not understand and I have no knowledge of or participation in Christianity.
I am just writing to bring to the attention of the community how large doses of unfamiliar psychedelics can bring young people (we were all between 18 and 22) into very specifically religious settings. If you are one of those people who find yourselves experiencing strong religious visions while under the influence of psychedelics, as hard as this may be to remember, please do not assume that your supplier knew that the chemical would create that reality for you. I did not even know what the religious practices of these people were other than generic labels such as 'Catholic' or 'hippie' when I gave them these drugs. I lost a wonderful friend in Ms. X and my landlady was almost informed by the other, unconsciously Christian, friends that I used LSD.
My conclusion from these experiences is that there is an intrinsic conflict some believers of the Christian religions find between their chosen religious path and the use of strong doses of psychedelics in non-Christian settings. I have not seen a similar conflict in people of other faiths on strong doses of psychedelics.
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