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Over My Shyness
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by Katie
Citation:   Katie. "Over My Shyness: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp13059)". Erowid.org. May 30, 2002. erowid.org/exp/13059

 
DOSE:
1 tablet oral MDMA

BODY WEIGHT: 105 lb


The first time i experieced the 'hug drug' i was a little skeptical about what effect would be on me. I was 19 years old, 105lbs and freshman in college. My boyfiend and his friends had tried it many times before so i was the only one that was going to be a first timer.

An hour before we dropped the pills we made a trip to walmart for some 'goodies': Glowsticks, vicks inhalers, dusters, fruit drinks, and pacifiers. We were at first going to be heading off to a rave but, with it being my first time, i wanted to stay indoors at a friends house to be more comfortable. We had couches set up all around and pillows to sit on. Along with blacklights, strobelights and glowsticks, the atmosphere was very pleasent. The guys kindof brought the rave to me.

After 20 min of taking the pill i still wasnt feeling anything significant, yet everyone else there seemed to be already blowing up. Everyone there had told me that if i stayed happy it would help it kick in. Finally about 45 minutes into it, something came over me. I felt a tingly feeling in my legs, then my chest, and all over arms and hands. I called out for one of the guys there to come over and touch me. I dont know why i wanted to be touched or held..i just did.

They brought over a wash rag with vicks all over it and told me to lay down and put it over my face. The feeling i experienced at that moment was incredible. I couldn't stop taking immense breaths of air. I layed there for about, what seemed to me, about 20 minutes until i suddenly felt the urge to get up and walk around. Everything i felt for the next hour was amazing.. big bear hugs, ice on my skin, the carpet, and my personal favorite.. my white fuzzy sweater i brought along to keep me warm.

About 3 hours after we dropped I had the best experience of the whole night. I had someone that was not blowing up drive me around for a couple minutes. The feelings of warmth from the heater in a car..and then letting the windows down to feel the wind against my skin brought me the greatest feeling of freedom and euphoria. My mind went very clear as i felt the wind brush against my face, I felt as if the earth was showing me its true meaning. Even now, i seem to ride around with the windows down because i still get the feeling of inner warmth.

Along with all the physical feelings that night, I had an emotional experience too. That night I loved everyone. I got closer to one of my boyfriends friends that before that night i had hated. I wanted everyone to be feeling the same amazing feelings i was. I couldnt stop myself from giving massages and kissing people on the cheek. Like many people had told me, my feelings werent sexual at all. I wanted to be loved and give love in return... true love. That night my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. Which at the time I wasnt ready for.

There are alot of feelings that came out when I was on E that I didn't even know were inside me. I told people I didnt even know that I would love them forever and keep them in my heart always, which now when i think about it isnt true. I dont even remember who half of them were. But I can say this: The people that were there that night that i still see now and then are closer to me than ever. I am still with my boyfriend, deeply in love, and am best friends with his friend that I used to hate.

Coming down was a little rough because I had to come back to reality and the harshness of the real world. But i can say that I had one of the best night's sleep i think i have ever had.

Ecstasy is something that can change your life. I have only taken it twice but both times have been very rewarding. I advise that if you are going to be a first timer, do it with someone that knows what to expect so that they can help you have a better roll. Also make sure you buy gum or pacifiers! If not your teeth and jaws with be hurting for a couple days after your roll.

I can say that because of ecstasy, I am more open to people, more trusting and i have a new way of looking at life. The world has become a beautiful, interesting, peaceful place to me. I also have a new appreciation for techno music. I never know when my next rolling experience will be.. but I am hoping that it will bring me as much 'ecstasy' as the rest.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 13059
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: May 30, 2002Views: 8,952
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MDMA (3) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)

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