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Waves of Love and Paranoia
MDMA (Ecstasy) & Amphetamines
Citation:   mogulus. "Waves of Love and Paranoia: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) & Amphetamines (exp13085)". Erowid.org. Feb 1, 2005. erowid.org/exp/13085

 
DOSE:
100 mg   Amphetamines
  1 tablet oral MDMA
BODY WEIGHT: 100 kg
Set and Setting:
It was a fairly big apartment, unfamiliar to me, with people I barely knew, exept my older brother. Four males and two females. Progressive trance playing on the stereo. I was quite wired (class-A amphetamine, 0.1g) at the occasion. And weŽd been drinking and doing speed the night before. So I was physicly and mentally on 'overdrive'.

[2100pm] Popped a pill of MDMA (street name is Yellow Diamond). We all sat down in the couch, all six of us. After mearly 10 minutes the effects were noticeble. I felt a bit uneased this being my third time and all. I went in to the bedroom to lay down for a while. My brother checked in on me witch was very comforting. A few minutes later I felt as if the bed were jiggling and warm rushes of chemicals shot up my spine. All very comfty. And all I could do was smile. Some visuals of patterns and colour alterations on the wall.

[2130pm] Feeling extremely tingly and with an higly elevated mood i decided to join the others. I was a bit tricky to walk. Fellt dizzy. I made it to the couch and sat down next to one of the females. I grinned. My brother handed me a pillow and told me to hug it. It was euphoric like an orgasm. I just sat there with my pillow for a while, unable to do any actual physical escapades.

[2200pm] I was getting a bit worried. This was getting quite trippy. Much more then Ive experienced before. I thought the E was mixed with some strong psychedelic like 2-cb or LSD. But it was pure. I gave in the the groove and wobbled along. At times it was almost as tripping on mushrooms.

[2230pm] The MDMA had taken hold. I danced for a while. Everything felt new and wonderfull. My bloodpressure dropped again so I had to sit down. It made me feel eerie and anxious. I cuddled in with this girl Sara in the couch. It felt ok to to so even if I didnt know her. We had alot of fun talking and making up stories about all sorts of thing. It fellt as if Id known her my whole life.

[0100am] Now the really wierd and quite scary thing happened. Sara and I became all huggie. When she caressed my hand and there were an extream sexual energy surge through my body. She had smoked alot of weed too at that point and I imagine she was quite stoned. She continued touching my hand and I heard her voice telling me it was lovely. How she wanted me to do her. I was startled and asked her what she said. I got no reaction from her. I was getting a bit paranoid. I couldnt make out if she realy said it or if it was in my head. I fantasized of her in a sexual way and then I heard her voice again 'creep. leave me alone!'. By the time I felt like a question mark. I didnt know if she told me this or if I thought it or even if I had said it outloud. Was I a creep? Am I that bad? Perhaps she didnt like having me close to her? Am I acting weird? I feelt compleatly disengaged. I began to think that perhaps it was telepathy witch Ive experienced on shrooms (or thought i did). The social paranoia was prominent througout the rest of the roll. It was only when I came down I got the grip of things. Even then I was startled. I remember that I thought of talking to her tommorow. To sort things out.

[0300am] I fell asleep during the afterglow witch was weedlike.

The next day everything felt awkward. I never talked to her, unfortunatly. One thing Ive learned. Speak whats on your mind even during the afterglow, even when your sober. Take the advantage to express your feeling and sort things out during the roll. MDMA could help one tamper with inner problems. Take care though. A chemical that makes you feel that good cant be healthy.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 13085
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 1, 2005Views: 10,415
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MDMA (3) : Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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