Citation: Penelope Pothead. "The Longest 'Night' Of My Life: An Experience with Methamphetamine & Cannabis (exp13102)". Erowid.org. Feb 10, 2005. erowid.org/exp/13102
A week ago, I had tried just about every drug but Crystal Meth. I live in a small mid-western town, so it's not that easy to come by usually, but one day at about two in the afternoon, my friend Tom came over to my house with a small baggie with about 3 lines of crystal left. He cut it up and he and my boyfriend did a line, and then I took the last one. My eyes immediately started to water and I felt a burning sensation in my sinuses as well as an exciting rush go through my entire body. After that I didn't immediately feel much of anything, which I told them, and they laughed and told me to smoke a cigarette and wait. Halfway through my cigarette, I realized I had clenched up into the sitting version of the fetal position (you speeders know what I'm talking about), and I was talking non-stop. Less than an hour later, my boyfriend and I made the decision to obtain our own half-gram baggie and make a night of it. While they ran to pick it up, and I found myself alone in my apartment I began cleaning everything in sight. In the twenty minutes that they were gone, I had the entire apartment spotless (a job which normally would have taken a couple of hours).
When they got back, we each did another line and Tom left. My boyfriend and I then got into a deep discussion of our relationship and things we need to work on, and we were both completely open and honest and extremely agreeable. We both thought that it was a little like Ecstasy, where we feel very uninhibited and talkative and forgiving and loving. At first we were just doing a line or so every couple of hours, and then around eight, we decided to try smoking it. We put a small amount in a metal bowl and each hit it once, and both decided we liked the effects of snorting it better. We had some errands to run still, including going to my parent's house to pick up some things, so we each did another line and headed to my parents'. When we got there, I went straight to talk to my Dad, and talked and talked and talked to him, and I felt so loving and sweet towards him (whereas usually I get in and out of my parents' as quickly and quietly as possible). Weirdly enough, though I was spun out at the time, talking to my Dad made me feel all innocent and good, like I was his little girl again. We went home and did another line and moved into our bedroom (which we do a lot on good drugs because it's painted blue with clouds, so it's an excellent atmosphere).
We got into a three-hour discussion about everything and anything, mostly us. At this point, we'd been going for awhile and I was starting to feel my muscles jumping all over the place, especially in my legs, and my heart was racing, which I don't really love. I also started to feel myself going blank--talking about something and being really into it and then just totally losing what I was talking about. I also found myself just staring off into space like my brain was just tired. We started smoking a lot of weed to help ease the negative tweaked-out effects, and it helped a lot. I would definetely recommend smoking weed after you've been on meth for more than ten or twelve hours--it really helps to stop the twitching and brain-fried feeling (or maybe just masks it). A few friends of ours stopped by and they had some too, so we all did a couple more lines (it's incredibly easy to think that you need more, when in reality you're going to be tweaked for awhile). One of the guys that came over I had never even met, but I talked to him for like half an hour and I had such warm, friendly feelings towards him, even though if I had been sober (in retrospect) I'm not sure I even would have liked him.
When they left, we moved back into our bedroom and kept talking and doing more meth. I started to notice some almost trippy effects around 3 AM or so, like when I went to the bathroom alone, I felt uncomfortable and when I was just sitting on the bed, I would see something out of the corner of my eye and jump, or feel something on my neck, even though nothing was ever there. My stomach was also clenching like it does on speed, but I felt uncomfortably hungry at the same time, since it had been fifteen hours or so since my last meal, and that stayed with me until later the next day when I could finally make myself eat again. Everytime I felt bad though, we'd just do another line and I would feel absolutely perfect again. Around eight-thirty in the morning, we only had a few lines left, although we'd been planning to save plenty for the next day, and we ended up rationalizing doing the rest of it. When we were finally out, it was getting light and snow was falling hard outside, for the first time all winter. We sat on the bed together and watched it snow outside and I felt the most amazing feeling of security and happiness and joy, towards the entire world, like maybe the world wasn't such an evil place, and there was hope for all of us after all.
Then my boyfriend started rubbing on me and it felt so amazing, like tingles were coming out all over from where he was touching, like I was on ecstasy. We started fooling around, and four hours later, it was like awakening from a stupor when we were finally done. I looked up at the clock and was stunned that it could be one-thirty in the afternoon. I've never in my life had one single sex session last longer than two hours--even on Ecstasy. And I couldn't figure out what we had DONE that had taken up four and a half hours. By that time we were completely mentally exhausted, but still physically a little sped up. We tried to sleep and woke up about an hour and a half later, feeling like the sickest, sorest, most exhausted people ever. My throat hurt, I had a canker sore that formed overnight in the back of my throat from the drip, my lips were chapped and cracked from licking them constantly, my jaw and head hurt from grinding my teeth (even though we did have suckers and gum, which I strongly recommend), my stomach still felt clenched, and I felt completely drained and depressed. And all I wanted was more meth.
See, I've done coke, and crack and they're supposedly so addictive, and I never really had a problem with that. But now I understand what truly longing for a drug is...how you think about how good it was, and how much better you would feel, if you just got a little more. And you don't stop til the bag's gone. And then just a little more. Meth is like this: normally most of us operate at around 80% of our capacity. Meth takes me to 100% mental clarity, 100% physical well-being, 100% emotional stability...and then when I come down, I'm left at about 40%...but it's so easy to get back up there. It's just one little line.
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