Citation: Scotto. "Bliss Potential: An Experience with 5MeO-DMT after AMT (exp13249)". Erowid.org. Mar 14, 2002. erowid.org/exp/13249
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A 5-meo-dmt experience
It's been a long time since I submitted something to the Vaults of Erowid, due to a year off from psychedelics which I will report upon in the next issue of one of those underground drug magazines, an association that will eventually get me many years of hard labor in a government work camp I'm sure. But recently that year off ended, and I've been dipping back into the psychedelic wellspring again, to varied but mostly positive results, a wigout on 4-aco-DET the only exception (that report was of course suppressed by the Committee to Safeguard What's Left of Scotto's Preposterously Tattered Image).
I was at the very tail end of what had been an excellent AMT experience (86mg oral), and we decided to cap things off with a nice little visit to the wonderful world of 5-MeO-DMT. When I think of my favorite drug experiences on earth, MDMA is third, AMT is second, and 5-MeO-DMT is by far first in line. I have come to truly love and appreciate the 'bliss potential' within the experience; it's not a reliable thing, but more often than not, this drug drops me into a zone of complete psychological, physical, and metaphysical bliss. It's still massively intimidating; I still hesitate each and every time I prepare to take it. It's powerful, daunting, magnificent, nothing to be trifled with. I know many people prefer N,N-DMT to 5-MeO-DMT, but not me; 'regular' DMT feels like a remarkable videogame to me, a cosmic roller coaster of epic proportions, whereas 5-MeO-DMT is a much more astonishing submersion into the bliss the universe itself must feel at being what it is.
This night I insufflated 20mg, and settled onto a cushion to await the onset. I vastly prefer insufflating this substance (or any substance, really) to smoking it; I can't stand the sense that I have just set my lungs on fire with battery acid, nor do I appreciate the inability to properly report the dose due to inadvertently burning up part of the material. 20mg has in the past been a great dose for me; I know many people who enjoy that dose, and many others who prefer 30, while one hardy friend of mine says he has ramped it up to insufflating as much as 60mg, to overwhelming (and enjoyable) effect. Your mileage may vary, folks! We refer to this material in highly technical terminology as an 'ass-kicker,' but we generally recommend to newbies in our group that they start with 20mg, the rationale being 'if they get their ass kicked at 20mg, that's what they ought to be expecting, and if they don't, they can always try again.'
I put on my eye mask and lay under a blanket, my friends quiet around me. Normally I experience a 5 minute onset that ramps up slowly - another reason I appreciate insufflating it versus smoking it is the fact that I get to actually lay down and settle in and spend a bit more time mentally preparing. But this time, 5 minutes came and went, and I felt as though very little if anything was happening. I was surprised and disappointed, especially because another friend of mine had gone first and was clearly having the big time experience. I got up, and asked our sitter to hand me the tray; there was 5mg still weighed out from the first person's dose that he didn't take, and so I insufflated it with great anticipation. This undoubtedly demonstrates a character flaw of mine, noted in many places in the record, but then again, as Dr. Emilio Lizardo once said, 'Character is what you are in the dark.'
Another 5 or so minutes passed, and my frustration mounted. I stood up, looked around. The first person to go under the influence was still lying on the fold out bed, seemingly enraptured. I walked across the room into our other room, and came up to our sitter. I said, 'I think it bounced right off,' and marveled that 5-MeO-DMT would bounce off something like AMT, considering how easily it overwhelms more potent drugs, like LSD. I decided I would wait until the end of the night, and try a larger dose. I walked around the room, back over near the computers, disappointed.
And then, perhaps 15 minutes total after the first dose, I noticed the room was changing all around me. This is the part that gets hard to describe, but as my drill sergeant Daniel A. Foss once said, 'Anyone who calls this 'an Experience which cannot be expressed in words' I call 'an asshole.'' I will start first by imagining what I must have looked like to observers, ignoring for the moment the internal experience. We have a very large living space, with an entire 'dance floor' type area at one end of the main room. I quickly gravitated toward it and began whirling and churning through the air. I was possessed by an energy that caused me to dance and spin like a whirling dervish out of control, and the entire time I was moaning with pleasure, laughing gleefully, screaming with delight, sweeping around in immense circles, occasionally throwing my balance about like a capoeira dancer who had gone wildly insane. I was loud, very loud, waking up one of the sleeping people, and causing the rest of the room to smile, as though the energy was contagious. This went on for twenty minutes or so until my body was physically exhausted - and my body had already been close to exhausted, due to a lot of dancing we'd done earlier on the AMT. Finally, I stopped, smiled, and faced the group.
At that point, still high on the absolute bliss I'd been experiencing, I began spitting out rather silly statements. It's happened to me before; my brain attempts to process what just happened, thinking that I'm actually 'down' and can use 'words' again, but instead, reaches and grasps for ridiculous heights in an attempt to express what had just happened. This time around I started gleefully exclaiming, 'The war on drugs is over!' and 'We OWN reality!' It was a pretty giddy few minutes; we were all having a great time together, and I hugged my friends, and one of my friends shouted 'He who owns the spice controls the universe!' and then we all began madly quoting our favorite movies, 'Head' and 'The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai,' at a rapid fire clip, giggling madly with each successive one liner.
A few minutes later, I was lying on the floor, entering a space of what I described then as 'ultimate relaxation,' soaking in the majesty of what had just happened. And what exactly had just happened? My entire world had been transformed into a malleable cocoon of amazement. It's as though I had stuck my finger into the light socket of reality and been delivered a blistering dose of unbridled happiness and delight. I danced because the sensations were so astounding and beautiful, and I wanted to totally immerse myself. Throughout all of it, I could see my surroundings mostly unaltered, I could see my friends and I knew that I was being watched, and perhaps there was even a performance aspect to it, as though I wanted to demonstrate how much joy was possible. Nothing on earth makes me feel quite this way. It's a thanksgiving, a pure expression with no ulterior motives. As I came down, still very, very high on the bliss, I shouted 'The war on drugs is over!' because I couldn't possibly believe that the world could outlaw such immensities of delight, and I knew that if I could just get the word out, the war would be over in a heartbeat. I imagined myself as the bearer of such glad tidings, and delighted in these realizations. I asked everyone not to tell anyone about what they had just seen - for most of the people there, they'd never seen anything like my reaction before in their lives. And I asked my friends not to let me get a big head or get arrogant as I set off to end the war on drugs.
There were two people left who hadn't tried it before, and after seeing my display, they were more than eager to go (it was one of those 'uh, waiter, I'll have what the gentleman on the floor is having' moments). We decided they should go one at a time, in case they needed as much space as I did, and so it was 20mg down the hatch, and another friend went under the influence. I continued coming down a little bit, and as I did, I whispered to everyone else individually, 'Hey, I was pretty high on the bliss a few minutes ago. That stuff about ending the war on drugs? Don't hold me to it - I'm quite sure this will be just another trip report.' We later decided that we had owned reality, but only for a couple hours or so ('it was a loan!'), and that while the war on drugs might not be over, the war on this particular drug was definitely over for us. My sitter commented that he had never seen that side of this drug before, and noted that throughout the entire experience, my balance seemed to be rock solid. I attributed this to my years of dance experience and a year or so of aikido training.
The person who went next had a very similar reaction to mine. He began laughing uncontrollably and rolling around the floor. This caused a 'contact high' reaction in me, not quite bringing me back to my previous heights, but definitely getting me back on my feet, luxuriating in the sensation again. He crawled over to me and we embraced and giggled and occasionally spit a few more quotes out at each other, cracking each other up mercilessly. The 2nd person who hadn't tried it did his 20mg, and cocooned himself on the foldout bed under a blanket. He didn't move for nearly half an hour, at which point he got up, went to the bathroom, came back, and said, 'Holy… shit.' He immediately grabbed a laptop and began typing notes to himself; he said, 'My entire life path is changed,' and perhaps he will have more to say on that himself.
Later, conferring with my sitter, I realized that I was mistaken about the 5mg boost I had taken. It was actually 10mg; I had misunderstood how much was left from earlier in the evening. As Homer Simpson would say, 'D'oh!' And that's why we recommend all sane human beings avoid zooming with our crew no matter how much we bribe you with grand tales of debauchery; what we usually leave out is that our particular brand of debauchery is best described as 'reckless.' But that's another story.
Coming down was slow and easy, as I was essentially coming down from both the 5-MeO-DMT and the AMT. I am rarely able to sleep after psychedelic experiences; while everyone around me slept peacefully, I read email and relaxed on the floor until it was time to go to yoga several hours later. Yoga was delightful, a grand way to work the kinks out of my body from nearly 24 hours of being in an altered state. I remained in a wonderful mood all morning and into the afternoon. When I got home, I still wasn't exhausted enough to sleep, and that's when Emergency Backup Plan 23 was activated - this plan involves several glasses of cheap red wine, a large bottle of home brewed beer, and half a bottle of home brewed lambic. As Montgomery Burns would say, 'Ah, sweet liquor, eases the pain.'
Until next time, this is Agent Scotto, signing off.
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